Friend or a Lover?
By saintneil
@saintneil (28)
Philippines
June 10, 2010 2:39pm CST
Greetings :D
Well, here's a little situation for us to start with. I know almost all of us here experienced this kind of situation in their lives.
This is my story actually. I'll just change it as if it is a situation to handle with.
It goes like this.
The're were Two best of friends. A Boy and a Girl. They were friends for almost 2 years. Not a childhood friend, but they were still the best of friends for each other. As the Days,Months and years passes by, The Boy feels something for the girl, and he knows what is it. He didn't even know when it started. He doesn't want to tell what he feel to his bestfriend, because he was afraid that maybe, when he tells the truth his bestfriend, will never talk to him again, or will ignore him for the rest of their lives. Now, to know if the girl have even a bit feeling same as what the boy felt, he always start a topic about love, that started with a friend. He always ask like this , " I wonder how does it feel when your friend, becomes your lover someday ". Then the girl always answers like this too " I am sure that those two will be a great lover, because they know each other very well, its really great to be in a situation like that, you know why? Because you won't worry about anything anymore, because both of you knew that , you know each other very well, and accepted each others long time ago, whatever or whoever you are. " . Like that. The boy was so confused that he always almost slip his tongue about telling her his feelings.
The question is that, Well the boy continue and tell the girl what he felt ? Even if he know that it would be risking their friendship in other way? Or Will he just forget about his feelings and be hurt everytime his together with his best friend, especially when his bestfriend will have a lover in the near future ? :D
7 responses
@crackx (628)
• Belgium
10 Jun 10
I've just replied onto a subject which tells about letting opportunities slip... I believe letting this one go, is one of them. It's not a life to live like that day in, day out. One day, when it would all be too much for the guy, than he would probably tell his best friend what's wrong, and when that happens, I'm pretty sure the boy would tell that thing as well. Eventually, if this would have such reply from the girl, there is no saying, but it's possible that the girl feels the same, perhaps she doesn't dare to say so either. I hope I helped the boy, or you, or who-ever it is :D Good luck with it!
@crackx (628)
• Belgium
10 Jun 10
You know, I had this kind of situation as well, even though it wasn't my best friend, it was a person I cared a lot about. Which is the person I'm loving for 11 months now, so here is one real evidence from out of my experience. Going to the movies was my first start, it's still a bit neutral, but out of it you could know something, in best kind take something romantic or humor (if you would like to be going). If there were any parties near you, go and ask if she wants to come along, it's what has occured to me as well.) Either way don't ask the first time you would go out of your house with her, it took me a few dates as well, but I can't hide what I have as the reward. It wouldn't be a life to live like that without a planning. There is no need to be afraid to just ask to go do something cause it can't make her suspect too much, even though she knows you. I've gone through it, the best thing you can do, is ask her out, yet in a way that isn't too much related to a lover, try asking it neutral, you can smile as hard, and as much as you want when she says she wants to, but hide it until that moment has passed. I couldn't resist my smile though, but either way it worked out. Go for it!
@crackx (628)
• Belgium
11 Jun 10
Yes I'm pretty sure it could work out between you two =) I know why you save up some money :D Eventually when you feel like asking her out, you could perhaps buy her a little present, which could be a reference towards a date, or eventually your feelings. It's pretty superficiel how I'm writing it down, but perhaps it could give you some special ideas^^ I see what you mean, going out with her is the best part, even if you aren't her boyfriend yet (and it is a YET). I know it will work out, even though I don't really know you 2, but I got the feeling you will =)
Good luck saving cash and the dating :D
Greetz
@hallofkindness (3)
• Norway
10 Jun 10
Tell the truth or leave her. Being in the "friend zone" is a dangerous place and will definitely screw your life. Unfortunately, I have experienced this. I left her, and I do not regret it!
@saintneil (28)
• Philippines
10 Jun 10
So you are telling that, you risk your friendship just because of that stupid feelings of yours ? How about not telling her the truth and just let it pass by ? And continue being her friend, even though deep inside, you love her more than a friend .
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
11 Jun 10
Hi, good day to you SaintNeil,
For me, the boy should somehow tell his feelings to the girl. But, maybe its best if he will take it slowly. As they say, "slowly but surely". Maybe he can say it little by little. As he already started it by discussing a topic about love. It might be best if he try to explore some topic, that relates their situation. Like for example, a story of a movie that tells about a best of friends that becomes lovers.
Or maybe the boy could try this slowly, try to tell the girl, what she will gonna feel if the boy fall in love to her, or vice versa, maybe the boy could also ask the girl, if she will be jealous when the boy will court another girl?
In this way, the boy will somehow get an idea on what would the girl will feel and maybe the boy can start to recognize the special feeling that he has.
However, the boy should also be prepare for whatever reaction that he might witnessed. Nevertheless, as they say, there is no harm in trying. Just take it slowly.
@edorms36 (275)
• United Arab Emirates
11 Jun 10
Hey there! One golden rule in courtship is that, men are the one's to chase women! For this matter saintneil, you have to gather all your courage and be man enough to tell the woman you love how you really feel about her, 'coz we women though we feel something special for a guy, it's not a good idea for us to chase men, so the first move must come from the guy. And you already have an idea on how she will handle your situation, it's already a give away from her part when you asked her, what's keeping you from professing your love, act now or tomorrow might be too late and you'll be sorry.
@chirag2006 (123)
• China
11 Jun 10
i feel in this situation such a good friendship can change in love after u realize that person is so important in life so first friendship happen and then love so its friendship and then u can start relationship with them and it change in love i think friendship is first that what i think
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
11 Jun 10
I think the guy should tell the girl how he feels. Seize the day, dude! Coming from a girl's point of view, it's not really a risk. If your friendship is strong enough, then it will surpass this. I've had a guy friend tell me that he likes me. I told him I didn't feel the same way. We're still great friends now. He has a girlfriend now and I have a boyfriend. We were mature enough to respect each other's decisions. If she says yes to you, then all is good. But if she rejects your love, you have to be mature enough to deal it. If you can't, then you'll be the one who turned your back on the friendship. By the way, that is also what happened with me and my boyfriend. He was first my friend, then he told me he liked me. I told him I liked him, coz I did. And mind you, my guy friend and my boyfriend have become friends, too. So good lkuck to your "friend". :)
