Terrified about going back.

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I had a sort of psychotic breakdown back in January and there was a lot of weird stuff going on in my life, like my sort of boyfriend/best friend leaving me, along with 2 of my other best friends and a whole consort of other friends and all of them humiliating me and my "craziness" on Facebook where they knew I could read it. The whole thing happened over like two weeks, and I got pretty depressed and tried killing myself a few times. Needless to say, my education took a backseat and I stopped going to college for a while. I just stayed at home, in bed all day, because the thought of going out into the world was not something I was comfortable with. I ended up eating my weight in junk food and basically living the life of a troll, before some of my friends from college forced me out of the house. And I had no idea they cared so much. Anyway, something about that and finally waking up to the fact that my parents were driving themselves crazy sick with worry, made me want to get my life back, instead of just lying down and giving it all up for a bunch of people who walked out on me when I broke down. And this realisation happened a few weeks ago, and I decided that I would definitely attend college from this semester, and get my degree and be a graduate. But now, I have four days to go before I have to go back there. And I have never been more terrified. A part of me really wants to go back so that I'll have something to do with my time, and my brain won't turn into a vegetable from all the inactivity. But there's this other really huge part of me that wants to curl up in bed and stay there forever, because I'm still too scared to face the real world and just grow up. I know that I should go back. I want to go back. But I'm really really scared. And I'm still not quite sure why I'm posting this massive thing here on myLot. I've just had a good experience here so far, and I guess I just wanted this out of my system, once and for all.