Do we bring it on ourselves?

A lot of what happens in our lives is just luck of the draw but there are things called "self-defeating behaviors". I was just like you. My problem was no boundaries. I got used and thrown out when I was no longer useful and was basically a "loser magnet" when it came to men. There are some things we can prevent and some things we can't. I had to learn to defend my boundaries once I had them. Now I am trying to figure out what I'm doing to isolate myself emotionally. I know it's me because there are friends who are reaching out to me but I just don't feel up to responding anymore. Life is a balance and balance is always a tricky proposition.

I think that it is human instinct to feel this way, but there are too many REALLY bad people who everything goes right for! I don't think it is a case of 'what goes around comes around', I think that it is more a case of people being TOO nice. I know a lot of people believe in Karma and what good you do is rewarded and vica versa, but I can't that I have been THAT bad to have to put up with all I have in my life, so no it's not your fault, it's just life. You know what they say 'LIFE'S A B1TCH, AND THEN YOU DIE'

I'd have to say yes, and no. Many times our choices (whether good or bad) warrants the outcome of situations and circumstances we find ourselves in at times. Then, there's just life as it happens or the "cards" we are dealt to play, if you will. And those who are believers (such as myself) feel our lives are part of His plan. It all does get tough though; especially the bad times. By nature, I'm a very positive and optimistic person; always looking for the good in the worst of times, and willing to give the benefit of doubt to others who seem bad. Being this way works for me. It keeps my "bad", in the dump days few and far between. I do believe in maintaining a nice disposition and treating folks with kindness, but with a healthy balance of assertiveness which helps keep from being hurt or having your niceness taken for granted; thus leading to disappointment and hurt. Happiness is something we would all love to achieve and I do believe we will in our own due time and season :)

For me not to experience on that but if ever happened n you don't forget to pray to Jehovah God and explain about your self why it is happened in you remember nothing's impossible by him.

hi rosie.. i did realize that most of the things that happened to me before were self inflicted..meaning that i'm the one who put myself in the terrible spot that i was in. i'm no puppet, so if i did it, its because i did it. same goes to what's happening to me now. there's been a lot of positive changes in my life..and i owe it to me giving myself a chance and changing my outlook on life to a positive one. bad & sad stuff will happen again. but i am fully determined to make the best out of what i have now..

GOSH!!! I have never come across a post online or ever heard someone talk about their life experiences that have been exactly if not similar to mine. When i read your comments, i could NOT help but feel like you were talking the words right out of my mouth and mind. Oh it would be nice to get your email and we could exchange our personal experiences. I would be happy to give you mine. Life sucks and one finds it hard to just suck it all in.

At times Rosie I guess we do, I used tohave this invisible tattoo on my forehea that said VICTIM it has now been erased. I read a book once called Women who love too much, and I guess I was like you but then I becameselfish, but in a good way because if I didn't put myself first and become strong how was I going to be strong for my children and I changed my life around. I am now really content and spot the cheater, gambler, drinker, I love me only type everytime. No I am not in a relationship right now but through choice because I refuse to allow the repeat pattern scenario anymore. Love an dhuggles as I know you are really trying to get back out the other side right now. Ellie :D

oh rosie no I dont really think so although I have gone over and over in my mind this past year and a half, thinking what if I had this differeently or should not have done that, then my son would not have been laid, off,we would not have been evicted and now end up me now in this tiresome retirement center, and he in a gov.sponsored apt with three others all looking for work and not finding as yet. When he was unhappy at his job I as his mom should probably have insisted he get another job while there were still jobs to be had, and yet I think I did suggest it and he said he just hated that rigamorle of having to apply for a new job.Well maybe he should have listened to me then. oh who knows its just agonizing to sift back through the disaster that turned our lives upside down.Maybe we are too nice and should get tougher and demand that certain things be changed. stand up for ourselves.

Hi Rosie, I have been thinking about the same question lately. I wonder what I might have done to deserve a challenging married life like what I'm experiencing now. I may be writing from a religious point of view here, but this is how I interpret it. I'm not perfect. I'm not bad, I'm not super good either. In terms of religion, I may forget every now and then to pray. I believe that God is trying to remind us of who is the Most Powerful of all. It is also His way to remind us to be reminded of The Almighty one. When this problem started in my marriage, I had no one to turn to. I could only relate matters to God in silent conversations. I never ask why I'm in such a predicament, but I began to pray that things would turn out the best for everyone, especially me and my daughter. I don't pray to have a particular person back into my life or to ask for other specific happenings. What we ask for may not be the best for us anyway. Thus, I began to make general prayers to request for God to show me the direction to take to ensure that my life would be happy in this world and the hereafter.

I always wondered that but I feel that it is just life giving us a kick in the butt saying enjoy your life and live for the moment because when it goes bad for me it is the ultimate worse but the next time it is 20 times better....So I think that things that happen good or bad is part of the plan