taking care of the old parents /parents -in- law

I think it depends on many things. There are countries where younger genration MUST take care of the older one. In some others they have senior homes (several kinds). But it also depends on money, time and health problems of the elderly. Some people need a nurse nearby. It is not a question of love and care. Putting old people (or sick people) in a home does not necessarily mean lack of love or considering them as burdens. These problems are very complex and each case is different. Have a nice day!

Of course I would take my parents in and look after them if it was necessary. In my family, my Nanna lived to be 100 and only spent the last couple of months of her life in an Old People's Home, because she needed quite a lot of care. My Grandma is 93 next month and still lives alone in her own house, but my Mum goes over to do her shopping and so on. I think family should always be there for each other when they are needed.

vathsala, I love taking care of old ones. My spouse and sons will certainly co operate with me in this. But unfortunately my parents are no more now..

It is the curse of modern time. It has many causes. I am not in support of sending the old age people to the home or to avoid them. I have lost my parents just within six months of my marriage. My father-in-law and mother-in-law is residing with us. We are always look after them. We have a joint family and my husbands elder brother, his wife and one son are also living with us, better to say we are all living under the guardianship of our father-in-law, 89 years. But as I think, there are many causes to dis regards the olds. In our family, if we live separately and my father-in-law and mother-in-law are with us, I could not look after them carefully. My husband is a very busy man, above all he can not lift a any weight owing to his spinal problem. So, I alone could not serve them better as they are getting now. Now a days there are micro family on various reasons. And the other family members have no time to look after the parents. Besides this the mentality has been changed.

Hello my friend vathsala30 Ji, You have rightly attributed. I have some messages from parents and grand-parents as 'WISH' to all children in following manner. You may add few more, if you please. PARENT’S WISH 1. On the day when you see us old, weak and weary…… Have patience and do try to understand us……. 2. If we get dirty when eating…and.. If we cannot dress on our own… Please bear with us and remember the times we spent feeding you and dressing you up. 3. If, when we speak to you, we repeat the same things over and over again… do not interrupt us… listen to us. When you were small, we had to read to you the same story a thousand and one times until you went to sleep. 4. When we do not want to have a shower, neither shame us ,nor scold us….. Remember when we had to chase you with your thousand, excuses to get you to the shower? 1. When you see ignorance of new technologies, help us navigate our way through these world wide webs. “ We taught you how to do so many things –to eat the right foods, to dress appropriately, to fight for your rights.” 2. When at some moments , we loose memory or thread of our conversation, let us have the necessary time to remember and if we can not , do not become nervous. “ As the most important thing is not the our conversation, but simply to be with you and to have you listening to us.” 3. If ever we do not feel like eating , do not force us. We know well, when we need to and when not to eat. “When our tired legs give way and do not allow us to walk without a cane, lend us your helping hand the same way we did when you tired your first faltering steps.” 4. And when some day we say to you, we do not want to live anymore that we want to die … “ Do not get angry for one day you will understand . Try to understand us that our age is not just to live , but survive. 5. Some das you will realize that despite our mistakes , we always wanted to do best for you prepare wing for you. “ You must not feel sad , angry , not ashamed for having us near you. Instead try to understand us and help us like we did , when you were young”. 6. Help us to walk, help us to live rest of our life with love and dignity. “ We will pay you with smile and by the immense love, we have always had for ou in our hearts” “ WE LOVE YOU CHILD” May God bless You and have a great time.

its true ny dear friend ,now adays society is changing day by day. Some people are doing such kind of thing.Its is said in Holy Boooks of different Religions to serve your old parents is the best service in the world.May God give all of us a caring and helpul nature.

I really pity such people who are not mentally matured and behave in a cheap manner. Do'nt they have conscious of mind? These in-laws only brought the husband/wife up sacrificing their conveniences, money, time and energy. It is because of them that these so called husband and wife are grown well, studied well and settled down in a comfortable position. Thinking of putting them in old age home is an inexcusable sin. It is like climbing the ladder and then pushing it down. Such people are ungrateful and they deserve any sort of punishment. What will happen to them, when they are old? As you sow, so you reap.

I always look after my parents and that didn't brother me I raise my daughter with her grandparents they enjoyed being around her and it was good for her, cd

We have been able to take care of all our old people so far and now that I am one of the old people I hope I will be taken care of if necessary. For us it's a cultural thing.

hi vathsala garu, first what about your view in this regard,the same case is repeating in their lives also,those who follow this,but still they are doing the same mistake,i too also have seen some old parents in old age,one more thing is there,the parents also should not tease the their children,before their grand-children,have a nice day

hi aunty, nice discussion, yeah, even i have seen so many people that, their parents are burden for them, and they keep in oldage home, its not correct.. how come they behave like this.. if they think before his/her child was burden, how they become grownup.. very rubbish.. i have them who is doing like this.. till the end we should take care of our elders. thankyou have a nice day.

It all depends on your own personal situation, Some people dont have the money to look after another adult; both space and food/bills will be required for the extra person, plus TIME. If you work full time and have a family (young kids), your time will be taken up by that, so having another person in the house would be much harder on you. Yes I think that kids should do all they can to look after their parents but I dont think that has to mean homing them in your own home. There are some beautiful residential homes in the UK, they are private not NHS and have nurses on call but the people have their own flat with their independance when they need it or want it but with the security of people around all the time, as well as things to do like dominoes, bingo, dinners etc. That way they cam have their own home but without the hassle of bills to pay, food to buy, cleaning to do, and if they DO have a problem, there is alkways someone there to help out. My auntie is in one of these retirement homes and she loves it!!!

It is sad to think that the elderly get neglected by the children they once raised. In our country, it is customary for the children to take care of their aging parents. I know, because we lived in my grandparents' house and took care of them (but my grandmother later on transfered to the house of one of my aunts, and that is where she breathed her last). For me, I will take care of my own parents until they grow old. I'm not yet married and I'll make sure to ask my future spouse whether he would be okay with me taking in my parents. If ever I'll be working full time and cannot take care of them 24/7, I will hire a nurse or caregiver to help me, but, they'll still live with me. I think homes for the aged are the saddest places on earth.