Do Opposites Really Attract?

Tweet

Not Really. Experts say having more of the right similarities could be more helpful in a relationship. She drives a Benz, he rides a Harley; she's a sports buff, he's a bookworm; she likes sentimental clutter, he hates hoarding. Do opposites really attract? Is it good if they do? It depends on what you mean by "opposite". I believe unresolved patterns attract. What most people call falling in love is really falling in pattern. Relationships are about getting our own needs met, often on an unconscious basis. In other words, we try to find someone who is complementary to us and can help us learn, heal and grow. In a study published in the "Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences," researchers quizzed 978 heterosexual residents of Ithaca, New York, between the ages of 18 and 24. First, the participants rated the importance of ten attributes of a long-term partner, and then rated themselves on the same scale. When the results were tallied, self-perception was mre likely to match mate perception. The conclusion was: "In Western society, humans use neither an 'opposites-attract' nor a 'reproductive-potentials-attract' rule in their choice of lon-term partners, but rather a 'likes-attract' who are similar to themselves across a number of characteristics." Those people were not married though. I don't really think opposites do attract. The study did not look at marital stability; these young people were not married. Reality is more complicated than that. Someone once said that if opposites didn't attract somewhat, everyone on the planet would be asexual or gay. But you look for a complement, not someone identical.