Not only was this rude, but it was said at an inappropriate time.
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
June 15, 2010 5:24pm CST
My fiancee/husband accidentally got a nail in his foot. And he had to go to the hospital. I used to work at the hospital. And after I got off from work I went to see about him. Well as I got inside of the waiting room, my mother and father-in-law was there already sitting down. They came to visit their son as well. So, I sat down beside them and it was very quiet. Then all of a sudden, my mother-in-law blurted out, "You know it would really help Patrick out if you had your driver's license". I was stunned, I did not say anything.
My father-in-law just sat there and they did not say anything. Why did she bring this up at a time as this? My fiancee/husband was in the Operating Room in pain with a nail that was stuck in his foot. This was not the time to tell me what I should and need to be doing. I was very worried about him at this time. This remark of hers made me feel really bad. She could have said something nice to me, but this was all that she had to say?? Now you all see why I believe that this woman has it in for me. She always try to hurt me in a way that will leave me shattered.
As I look back at her comment, she does not have her driver's license at all. Her husband takes her everywhere that she has to go. Sometimes, he does not like doing anything for her. I can drive, I know how to drive, but she can't. Her husband has been telling her for over 30 years that he will help her learn how to drive, but he never has. My husband has taught me how to drive from the first moment that I met him, when we was not married. So who do you think really needs their driver's license?
My father-in-law just sat there and they did not say anything. Why did she bring this up at a time as this? My fiancee/husband was in the Operating Room in pain with a nail that was stuck in his foot. This was not the time to tell me what I should and need to be doing. I was very worried about him at this time. This remark of hers made me feel really bad. She could have said something nice to me, but this was all that she had to say?? Now you all see why I believe that this woman has it in for me. She always try to hurt me in a way that will leave me shattered. As I look back at her comment, she does not have her driver's license at all. Her husband takes her everywhere that she has to go. Sometimes, he does not like doing anything for her. I can drive, I know how to drive, but she can't. Her husband has been telling her for over 30 years that he will help her learn how to drive, but he never has. My husband has taught me how to drive from the first moment that I met him, when we was not married. So who do you think really needs their driver's license?3 people like this
14 responses
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
16 Jun 10
I think she wants you to get your driver's license so you can drive her all over the place. She's the one you mentioned once before that won't even take a bus, right? THAT'S why she wants or wanted you to get a license.
And yes, she should have said something nice to you under the circumstances of your husband having a nail in his foot.
1 person likes this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
16 Jun 10
AAHAAAAA! I knew it, lol! She probably won't ask her two daughters to run her around because they'll say "NO"..which is what you should do too.
And seeing she's so darn mean to you, tell her you'll do it for a fee, haha. Make sure it's higher than the bus fare so she gets the picture. Or, take her for the ride of her life, out in the boonies and drop her off. Oh, that was so mean to say, haha. I love your discussions, they're so much fun, and the nasty evil side of me comes out. 
2 people like this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
16 Jun 10
You know, my cousin told me the same thing too!
My mil even mentioned to me that when I get my license that I can take her and her friend places. This is an older woman that lived in front of her. How come she can't ask her two daughters to run her all around the place? Why me? Yes, this is the same woman that does not want to take a bus.
My mil even mentioned to me that when I get my license that I can take her and her friend places. This is an older woman that lived in front of her. How come she can't ask her two daughters to run her all around the place? Why me? Yes, this is the same woman that does not want to take a bus.2 people like this
@katykicker (231)
•
15 Jun 10
I think perhaps you both need your license and maybe she resents the fact that she can't drive and doesn't want you to feel like that in years to come or for her son to feel the way her husband does.
Generally in my experience if your mother-in-law says something you aren't sure about you can pretty much assume that she is trying to make you feel rubbish, mine normally is (at least that's how I see it).
Another thing could be that she feels guilty and hurt that her son is injured and in pain and she is convincing herself that if you had your driving license that this would not have happened but that is not the case as obviously it would still have happened.
My best advice would be to try and not rise to her comments and not let her hurt you but I know as well as you probably do that it's not as easy as that. Just console yourself with the fact that once your husband is better and at home that you don't have to see her all day every day yet I do with mine! :)
Hope he gets better soon.
1 person likes this
I was never free of this woman!
@StephanieAnnC (4274)
• United States
16 Jun 10
There's always going to be people who you don't like being around, but have to bea round them no matter what. This is one of those cases.
katykicker,
I agree with you. You gave two really good explanations. The second one you mentioned I instantly thought of when I read this discussion. I mean, I thought that the mother-in-law was upset about her son and was taking out her anger on cream97 here. I don't really think she meant to be mean. I think she was mostly in distress. But it's hard to tell when you can't be inside someone's mind.
@mikeyr6000le (2123)
• United States
16 Jun 10
I would say both of you need them. If you can drive like you claim you can then it shouldn't be that hard for you to get. Is so simple even most teenagers can do it.
It might have been brought up at that time because maybe someone had to drive you there or you had to wait for a bus or something? That would be my guess.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
16 Jun 10
Hi, mikeyr6000le. I believe she brought this up because my husband had drove himself to the hospital when this nail had got into his foot. But when it was time for him to go home, I was the one that drove us back to his parents house. I think my mother-in-law was angry that he had to drive himself to the hospital. But she has to understand that I was at work when this happened.
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
18 Jul 10
i would have said "works for me,gonna buy me a car?"
and walked away while she had shock on her face.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
16 Jun 10
Cream,
Why in the world was that subject even brought up to begin with? Are they the ones that had to bring him up? Regardless, you were at work so you having or not having a license would not have been helpful in this situation. As for who needs their driver's license, well, I'd have to say that both of you probably could use one. Still, not everyone has one nor can afford it. Along with the license there is the cost and upkeep of a car and insurance. A lot of families only have one vehicle. My daughter and her boyfriend did not have their licenses until recently. Her boyfriend got his and still has to get a vehicle. They live across town so I give them lots of rides. I don't mind. That's what families do....they help each other out. At least in my family that's how it works.
1 person likes this
@xfallenxlostx (2074)
• United States
16 Jun 10
First off, is he your fiancé (two "e" os for a woman)or your husband? These are two very different things. Either you are not married and planning to be or you are married already. You can't be both at once.
Sedondly, you need your lisence more than she does, but you both need it. She's probably at an advanved age and would only be driving for a short time. It takes time to learn how and to take the tests. If she fails, she has to do it again. It's probably not worth the time for her at this point. It is for you, however. You really should get your lisence, especially for incidences such as these. Your mother-in-law didn't make this comment to hurt you, she made it because she was worried about her son and knew driving would be bad for him to do with the injured foot. She was making a very factual statement. Yes, she said it tersely and it probably came out mroe nasty than she thought, but you have to look at the intent and stop taking things so damned personally! You think she has it out for you just because she makes a comment like this? You're lucky that's all she does. A lot of women have to deal with in-laws who cause much worse problems.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
16 Jun 10
Hi, xfallenzlostx. At that time he was my fiance, we was not married then. But now he is my husband. I wrote this to let others see that this was the same man that I am referring to as of now, presently... Secondly, have you read any of my other discussions? Because if you have, you would have seen how nasty and mean to me that she has been. I went through her insulting me verbally and mentally for five years and and seven months! It was abuse. So, I have endured terrible things that she has caused upon me. I went through the Hell that other women have went through with their mother-in-law. So don't ever tell me that I am taken anything so personally. My scars are visible and it is so plain to see it too!
So don't ever tell me that I am taken anything so personally. My scars are visible and it is so plain to see it too!
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Jun 10
hi cream your mother-in-law has about as much kindness in her
towards you as a flea. What a thing to say, specially as the
woman cannot drive herself. I find myself wanting to give
both father and mother in law some good swift kicks in the best
place to do it. What obnoxious people!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@reene0225 (351)
• United States
18 Jun 10
Wow your mother in law sounds like a real piece of work. To sit there and tell you that you need to do something and she doesn't even have her license. Such hypocrisy. That was definitely at an inappropriate time. That comment had absolutely nothing to do with your fiancee/husband being hurt. How's your husband doing now? I hope everything is ok and his foot heals quickly. As for your mother in law just ignore her. Some people just aren't happy unless they're making others feel bad.
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
16 Jun 10
Cream, the more I read about your mother-in-law, the nuttier she sounds! Of course her comment to you was inappropriate but this woman seems to have cornered the market on inappropriate behavior. Don't let her stress you out. I've learned that people like her are going to pick and nothing you do will ever be good enough so you might as well accept that that is how she is. Don't let her upset you or make you crazy!!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (167070)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Jun 10
She was probably under stress and worried about her son. If you had had your license maybe she was thinking you could have brought him to the hospital. I think when we are under stress we don't think before we speak. Not appropriate but she was not in her right mind being under the stress of the moment.
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
16 Jun 10
It sounds like she was anxious but had nothing to blame on you for it and went for some obscure thing that really made no difference but was something to say. it seems that many mother's have issues letting go of their children and this one likes to get a little nasty about it. My father in law is this way actually and the best thing you can do is be uber sweet and nice as this really ticks them off. I believe you should get a license for your self and if you decide to throw it in her face, Thank her for her advice and tell her how happy you are that you took it. Not only will it throw her off guard but will hit home that she cannot get you down by saying dumb things. A very important lesson.
1 person likes this
@manokob (19)
• Philippines
16 Jun 10
ulp! this a real non-sense topic not worth even a million or thrillion thrills why should be worry for that petty word... my my my delihlang. well sorry if this is my opinion anyway we are always entitled to our opinion we who live in a democratic regime
@emma27865 (101)
•
16 Jun 10
It sounds very much like they were having a conversation about you before you walked in. I wonder if your mother in law was upset that you weren't already there before them as a "dutiful wife should be". And so when you finally got there, it all became too much in the tense atmosphere and before she could check herself, it tumbled out? People can be hurtful when they are upset, they can speak their mind. We all think things about other people rightly or wrongly, but generally we have learned to keep our thoughts to ourselves.
I hope your husband is better now.
1 person likes this
