hurting me...

If that happen often, would you really consider if he loves you ever? You can't live under such violent relationship. Maybe all I say here is totally bull to you. You might consider finding a social service to help you out there. At least to stop this violence all at once. You looks like a pretty girl. Is that you real picture? You have no problem finding a good man to appreciate you.

I think you should leave your husband. You deserve someone better and someone who cares for you and respects you. I really despise men who hit women. You can even file a case against your husband if you want to teach him a lesson.

This is serious abuse and should not be acceptable at all. At least he should know how to behave as an adult when he is angry. I would suggest seek counselling for his anger management and for your self confidence. The moment he hits you , he is in the wrong and never you just walk out and seek help. I think you don't love him but are dependent on him for either emotional or economical reasons

As a therapist, I have seen this so many times and as painful as it is, you need to make up your mind as to what to do. Research strongly suggests that when kids witness this sort of behavor with parents they tend to wind up in abusive relationships themselves. Boys tend to carry on the habit of hitting their wives, and girls tend to marry and accept abuse from their husbands. Here in the UK this is considered assault and is a criminal offence. Although I have no doubt that it still goes on, nowadays a man know he can wind up in court and be imprisoned for it. I would advice you to consider whether living without him would be less painful than getting beaten, and if in your country it is considered an illegal act, if you are being attacked, you would need to consider telling the police about it, if you want it to stop. Personally I am apalled when I think of violence towards women, but from my experience of being a therapist, I recognize that my opinion cannot be forced on another person. At the end of the day, life has brought you to this very bad experience, and it will be your decision as to what you do next. I am afraid that it's going to painful either emotionally or physically whichever way you go. I wish you all the best and hope that you can find greater happiness... _Derek

I am coming in late to this discussion and see that you have already received some great advice but I felt I had to respond. I was in a similar relationship, my first marriage. I honestly believe that he would have killed me if I had not thrown him out. (We lived in a house that I owned.) I had no idea how I was going to support myself and my child but I knew I had to get away from my husband. Not only would I probably have been murdered by him but my child was also witnessing what he was doing to me. If I had not left him and managed to stay alive, my child would have grown up believing that this kind of action was normal for a man and the cycle of abuse would continue. What I realized (after a lot of counseling) was that my husband did not love me and I did not love him. I THOUGHT I loved him but, what I really loved was the man I thought I had married, not the man who was physically and emotionally harming me. Once he turned into this wife beater, he was no longer the man I loved. You need to get away from your husband! He will not stop beating you. He may even kill you. How do you think that would affect your children? How do you think this is affecting them now? When I threw my husband out, I managed to find a job and, even though it was not easy, my children were raised in a home without physical abuse. They are now well-adjusted adults and they hate what my husband did to me and to us as a family. Believe me, you do not love your husband. If you did, you would not mind being hit by him. You love what your husband was before he began to hit you, not the man he has turned into. He will not turn back into that man you married without a LOT of counseling. He needs to learn that he cannot continue to hit you. You will be sad, you will be lonely, but you will be safe and ALIVE if you leave him now! If you leave him, you will then have the opportunity to find someone who TRULY loves you and would never hit you. I just can't stress it enough... YOU HAVE TO LEAVE HIM! He WILL NOT CHANGE!

Sorry to say this my friend . Are you truly love this man because you already planned a run away. I think you maybe can not leave him because your kid love him so much and you don't wanna be blame by them from separating them from their dad. Or you think you can not support your self and your children without his money. I think you need to act really straight to your husband. Every abusive husband always apologize every time they hit their wife, few even cry to make their wife forgive them. but this cycle will always continue and the abusive getting harder and harder. Its your choice mom, you decide because its your life and your the one who abused not us. Make your mind and your are still young, many good possibilities might happen.

Honey, you need to get over that BS NOW! He doesn't love you if he is hitting you. he isn't good for you. You need to pack up and get the hell out of there. He is a sick man and one of these days he's not going to stop at hitting you. He's going to take it too far and put you in the hospital or kill you. Don't fool yourself into thinking he's the typical man, because he isn't. Most men, even if they're inconsiderate and forgetful and selfish, do NOT get physically violent. You will find someone to love who truly loves you and won't treat you like this, but you have to take the first step: GET OUT NOW!

Hi lonelyemptyisland, Your husband needs help. So do you. You may love him but it is not a healthy love and it is not going to get any better. In fact, abuse generally gets worse the longer it continues. It will eat away your self esteem until you start feeling that you deserve the beatings. You should go to your local women's center and talk to someone there. They will help you to leave and they even offer legal assistance for women who are being abused. I hope there are no children involved.

Maybe it is time for you to reflect so you could decide on whether to leave or live with your husband. If you love your husband, then he should love you in return. Hurting you is not a way of loving. Don't be a martyr .. You should keep your dignity. Never let yourself be hurt by your husband.

My fiance has not and will not ever hit me. If he ever does even try to hit me. There is going to be H$(* to pay. A man does not need to hit a woman and your man sounds like a real loser. He has already hit you and he hits you when he is angry with you? Get out of this relationship and kick him to the curb. YOU DON'T NEED HIM!!! I just also read that you have 2 children. For the sake of your children get out of this relationship now and really fast. You do not deserve this. For you staying with him "just because you love him" is not a reason to stay with a loser low life wife beater. He will not stop so leave him now.

Hi, lonelyemptyisland. I am very sorry for your situation. Please seek help! Don't let him hit you anymore! Call the police, they will send you to a shelter that is safe and secure from him. Tell someone that you trust. I think that you need to leave him! He is very dangerous to be with!

Well i think you both should mutually talk with each other regarding his misbehaviour and your problems and his problems also and regarding future of your kids. Try to know why he is doing so and what does he want. If u cant leave him then try to stay as you were just after your marriage took place. Otherwise if u find he doesnot love you then you are simply wasting your time, try to be strong and come out from this relation as it may cause a bad effect over the mind of your children. Its your life and we can give only suggession but you are facing the problem actually so u are the only person who can take a dicision.

I would suggest to leave him at least or a time, go visit a relative, tell him or dont, that is your choice, after a while u can contact him again if you still feel like it, and see if he apreciates you more. sometimes its better to not follow the heart for a while, and let the emotions settle, get out of the relationship so u can see it better as it really was, then you will know if you want to get back together. I m sure That there is MANY great guys that would love to treat you right. Now with children that a different thing altogether, you have to really see if this is affecting them, and what would be best for THEM. Best wishes!

You sound like you have very low self esteem. I wonder, how does he react after the event? Does he apologise? Blame you? Is it due to drink? Would you ever dream of hitting him? Or do you love him too much to hurt him? If he really loves you, he would want this behavious stopped as well. He would leave the house until he has sorted out his anger problem. He needs to see you are not a helpless little punchbag but a fellow human being, whom he should be cherishing. How can he earn your respect acting like that? This situation is helping no-one, not your husband, or you. It will eventually destroy your relationship. I urge you to urge him to seek help. Anger management sounds a good start. I wish you every success with this one

Well it's all up to you do you have any kids, if not that's good because it can get really "BaD" for them to see you getting beaten up they wont like it and you could lose there recpect for you, they go to school tell there friends and they could go after one of there freinds and hit them and if ask why well they say there nothing wrong doing it because that's what my dad dose,So if I were you get some "Help" for you and yor husband,they work with both of you out and fine out what upsets him to want to hit you, or try to talk it out with him if you can I wish you best of luck!! Yes I have but it didn't work out... I just hope you don't go threw what I did,!! cd

Well I admire your desire for him, as he does this to you. I think that you are very strong for putting up with such violence and terror. The question you need to ask yourself is do you really want to go on living like this? I know how hard it is to leave someone that you love, I am in that kind of situation now, since my man cheated on me, and I still feel he is, but I cannot leave him because of the love I have for him, I just cannot be without him. What happens after he hits you, does he feel guilty or does he feel that he had the right to do that? Does anyone know about this like your friends and family? It really is a hard thing to give advice on because it is easy for us friends here at my lot to say... YOU HAVE TO LEAVE HIM... but we are not in your situation and we do not have any feelings involved in your situation. The point is because you love him, you cannot live life without him in your mind, so you like me, put up with everything, but maybe there may be a time soon where you really cannot put up with this behaviour anymore, he may push you to the limit. I think you need to sit down and have a think about your life, and how YOU want to live it. No one should be treated in this way, it is not right. Think about what may happen if you were to leave him, where would you go, what would you do, how would you go about being single. I really hope that you get sorted soon, and I am sorry that you are having such a bad time

Hey! Fight for your rights. Don't let your life miserable. Seek the help of your Family. Do you have kids?

Hi sweetie, I understand when you said you can't leave him because you love him so much. yeah, who don't get sad when we have to leave our love one. but you must also remember, that you need somebody who appreciates and loves your emotion and your physical. Your can't spend all your time with him if he hits you when he is angry at you. If his anger reach to a very high level, means he will hits you even worst as well. If you can't leave him then it is very necessary for you to discuss this with him..you two even may have to involve a third party. so, think for your best..and i'm sorry to hear that you are going through this kind of life. i hope you will make a wise decision, take care

u like and love other one?

yeah..it happened to me...me and my live in partner have two children and lived for almost six years...he always beat me whenever we had a big fight but i cant leave him,for the sake of our children and the same as yours i love him so much also..but my heart and my body give up to him..im so tired of what he do to me and realized i deserved someone better than him...and its true after i leaved him..im enjoying my life with my two kids without him..