would you talk with your ex-lover?

Oh smiley! You are way too young and gorgeous (I peeked at your avatar!) to even think about this guy for another minute! Damn girl if I looked like you I wouldn't give his another thought! You are hot honey and I'm not into women!Listen to me smiley, you had only one bad relationship and you are only 25! By then I had at least 6 or more! So, count yourself lucky and smart! You will meet the "right one" and probably sooner than you think! Just keep doing what you're doing, thinking with your head, not heart and wait! I know you will be fine! Forget this loser! Move on! And stop talking to him, not even necessary! Cut him off totally and see how much better you feel! Believe me I surely know! I've had tons of practice, unfortunately and still never found my "Prince"! But, it's too late for me, but not for you! Go get em'! Hugs, Opal

so sorry babe for replying late... LOL thanks so much for such a complement ... LOL yeah I like you too but i'm not into women either hahahhhaa you are sooooo cool awh gosh, it is just soo difficult to completely forget about him..but I'm trying my best... I have deactivated my facebook account simply to cut him off.. I removed him from YM and MSN and now i'm very much trying to remove him from my heart and from the deep inside my mind... I can't deny that I do think of him but i'm not into accepting him again into my life awh sweetie don't think like that.. I do hope that you will find someone who deserves your sweetness as you are sooooo sweet

hey Opal!! it is really great to see you always!! well, we broke up 3 semesters ago..he is my first ex and I'm not emotionally strong to move with another guy as i feel so empty from the inside..I tried to move on thought that moving with another one would somehow help in forgetting the past but it wasn't a good idea..so, i turned to be single with only one ex bf! It is not easy to talk with him again although I do miss him, however; my heart is full of anger and disgust and the more I think of him the more frustrated I would be..Although, I do miss him at the same time or maybe I missed who I thought he was! Awh Opal the whole issue is so confusing!!

@ Electric that is so true!! I'm still unable to treat him like a normal friend..It is just so difficult and awkward to accept the fact that my lover has turned to be a friend! It is still difficult especially, the breakup issue wasn't my idea at all!

@ Alvaro yeah me too as I still can't pretend that I'm feeling cool..It is still difficult to do that.. Awh you shared a Youtube link! OK I'll check it out

Hi Electric: I agree with you. You can't act pretending that nothing has happend, but time is the best cure for everything and if you don't totally ignore him you can eventually start to talk him and maybe in the future you'll be friends, think about the past and laugh. I love a music video of Gwen Stefani: "Cool" and I find it beautiful. It's a lovely story I think http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGwZ7MNtBFU Thanks for sharing with us your own experience on this subject. Have a nice day. ALVARO.

Well, I thought about that long time back that is why I was committed into the relation! In fact, everything was so smooth in between till he suddenly splashed up with the issue of breakup without having any related conflicts and fights before! things were fine or I thought were fine!! By the way, I liked your example about the weight loss and the candy thing!! It is cute

awh thanks sooooooooo much for such a great comfort!! I really liked your explanation so much... well, we were just couples..simple couples..we weren't living together or any such sort.. we broke up coz he doesn't wanna get married! he just wanted an open life and I basically want a marriage..so, we broke up in the beginning of the semester that it was so hard for me to focus as he was my first love... after the breakup; he did show some concerns but I just ignored his action simply coz I was really hurt that I don't want any connection.. after some time; I started having a slight feelings if I happened to meet him at facebook or on the way..but, i have already deactivated my facebook account simply to cut him off my mind otherwise I can't get cured!

Were you living together? Were you married? Or were you just dating? This still goes back to whether you are setting yourself up for hurt. What you found out is, love isn't all you need. You need character. Do you know why he left? Do you know what the reason was? Did he ever tell you why? Because if he just ditched you, and never had a reason, how can you trust that this time he won't do that again? The reason why is very important. Sometimes a man can get really nervous. Is this really what I want to do with my life? Is this really who I want to spend my life with? A sad part of the human heart is, we never really understand what we have until we lose it. I know a guy who was dating a girl for years and years. He never felt like marrying. Finally, he decided he wanted to marry, but really didn't know about this girl. So he politely told her he'd like to break up, and move on. Ironically it was him breaking up with her, that showed him how great she was. He met girl and after girl, and dated for 12 months, and at the end of that, he realized just how much of a beautiful pearl of a women his old girlfriend was. He called her up and asked for a date, now their married and have a small family with kids. Unfortunately, on the opposite side, I've seen guys who simply liked to be wild, and run around with whomever they please. They leave, come back, leave again, come back, and don't care they are absolutely destroying the soul of the women they are toying with. This is the hard part. You have to learn very cautiously, which is it with this guy you know. There is no 3 easy steps to finding out. But don't let him ruin you. If he starts messing with you, dump him immediately. Don't hold out for "maybe he'll come around". Life is too short for that.

Awh yeah that is exactly what is happening to me! it is so difficult to speak again to him after what he had done to me! the whole breakup was his idea..he in fact surprised me with the overall issue by simply telling me some painful words to be the last words in between!! it is still a shocking experience!!

awh I very much wish to sing this lyric too later on!! it very much helps dear! yeah I wish I could only remember his face with no feelings too!! thanks and wish you a great day..hope your daughter would come so soon to enjoy the fun together

But anger and pain subsides as time passes by. Isn't it that time heals all wounds? Who knows maybe one day, you will have the courage to face him head on. As the line in a song goes, "I remember the boy but I don't remember the feeling anymore." That time will surely come to you and you'll be ok facing him again.:-)

Awh you just had a short conversation with him!! that is good Anna!! I wish I could have cold feelings too..but, it still seems so difficult to accept the fact that he is no longer mine!! I can't believe that my first love cheated and betrayed my trust! I can't forget his last hurting words Anna!! I was so blind to the fact that he was treating me differently to end up the relation! I thought he was just frustrated with his own issues that influenced him to treat me that way! It never crossed my mind of the breakup issue!! never Anna!

yeah I hope so Vivi..The pain seems to have moved out of my heart..but it doesn't seem so from my mind as my mind still somehow remembering the cruelty of the situation! But, i hope things would get off soon... thanks lots dearie and so sorry as i couldn't make it to chat out with u :(

you must have a really bad break up my sugar,oh, cheer up my friend! there are lots of guys out there and you are still young,enjoy being single and don't rush on things.i know our time will come to meet our destined man to be with the rest of our lives. i know heartbreaks is really hard to move on. i somehow felt the same way.but i guess he was the one who really loves me,so i know he hurts the most when we broke up. don't think of him too much,my dearie! just let your life filled with fun,it will not be good for you to just sit in the corner and cry all you want. there's always a perfect answer to every question,and fulfillment to every dream!

Awh I'm waiting badly for the healing time to wash my sadness and tears!! he ended up the relation for no logical reason!! that is really driving me so frustrated

The healing process is sometimes a long one, but if the right person should come along, you will love again. It might not be the same as that other love, but it will be right for the situation. Sure it hurts now, but it will lessen as time goes on , as you said.

yeah you are right as all has to depend on how the relation ended as u said..well, he is the one who ended up the relation and that is why i'm feeling so empty from the inside as all the love I had was already given to him that i'm not able to love again! or probably coz it takes lots of time for the healing procedure to show up!

awh I do hope so dear.. I hope that, time would heal up everything soon thanks dear..

Once you make the decision to stop seeing him or speaking to him, it will get easier in time. Before long you'll find someone else and the old boyfriend won't even be on your mind anymore. But you won't be able to move on while you still communicate with him.

yeah that is so true! that is why I don't want to talk with him and eventually not now as the pain is still there..so, I would wait for the time to heal up everything..

Awh really? how did you manage that? I wish I could do that too! he was my frst relationship & I was so in love with him that I'm still unable to accept the fact that he betrayed my trust and caused the overall breakup issue! It is so difficult that I can't find myself talking to him with no hidden feelings!

smiley dear, you'll get there I assure. Just let time heal you and you'll know yourself better. Later on, you will realize what you're really worth and you'll just feel happy to have met him once in your life as part of your history. there's more to come in our lives. let's not close our doors!

same here... my family too keeps on advising me to let the doors open but i'm just not able to do so at the moment.. I kept on closing the doors recently by keeping myself busy to have no time to meet others! I know it is a negtive attitude but I'm just not too ready.. I would just wait for the right time.. thanks so much dear...

awh that is good for u Honey! yeah time did heal up the wounds and luckily you moved on! I hope I can get that too..maybe i do need extra time as having just 3 semesters away is not enough! So, I would wait for my wounds to get healed too *_* thanks Honey...

yeah that is what happening to me!! It is still difficult to do that! he is the one who caused the overall breakup issue!! he betrayed me! It is so difficult to normally talk to the person whom I was committed to!! But, how could you talk with your exes without having any disturbed feelings? I would really hope to be like that too..but, it is so difficult that I don't think I would manage that..

yeah I do hope the same thing here..but mostly it is still hurt..so, I would just let the time to heal the pain ... thanks a lot dearie for the advice

I don't know. I guess it is because they were good people, and we were friends. I think that is the most important part - the friendship. If you are not friends with your partner, then I do not think the relationship will last. That will also make it a lot more difficult when you encounter them after the break-up. Being friends with your partner does not mean that your relationship will last on a romantic level, but it is much more likely that you can continue to be friends afterward ... or at least that has been my experience, and I know others that have had similar experiences. I was betrayed by one of my exes, and it hurt a lot. I carried around a lot of anger towards him for a while, but eventually the anger got less. Now, we will talk on holidays and special occasions. We will never hang out together and do things like that, but we can be nice to each other and not be bitter about what happened. That is in the past, and we have both moved on.

yeah you are really right as it is sooooo difficult to talk to the person who broken my heart for no logical reason at all!! Thanks Getbiswa & God bless u too

awh thanks soooooooo much for that...yeah it is sooo great explanation! I like it.. yeah that is so true as after the breakup, I tended to look for a replacement and that replacement was a guy..but it was temporary as I didn't feel anything and he too didn't feel anything..but rather; he kept on scolding me a lot..It was wrong from the beginning as I was supposed to take time to think deeply over what happened..but I didn't! I just started to think deeply and logically despite the fact of being too late though! but, i'm trying...

Most of us lay stress on 'moving on' while I emphasize more on having a small period of hiatus after a break up. After a relationship is ended, if you are terribly hurt, you will look for something to amuse yourself, something that helps you to forget. You start hurrying and that makes you take wrong decisions. You move on too quickly, because you can't endure the pain. This is when the person gets involve with wrong person, just to get over a broken relationship. What I recommend is that, you take some time. Understand a few things about your relationship and yourself. During this, you try to avoid everything that may drift your focus away. We continue making mistakes because we omit this phase of realization between any two mistakes. Take some rest. Try to feel the fact that you don't actually need anybody to be happy. You can be happy and satisfied all by yourself. You understand the responsibility of whatever happened to you. You stop blaming yourself for entering into a relationship which turned into a failure. You forgive him and everybody who hurt you. Then you heal yourself slowly, but surely. You will learn something form this phase. This is worth the pain. You may not realize it now, but after 1-2years you are gonna thank me for this. Thanks May god always be with you

@ akhileshnigam we just need to be extra careful.. it is not easy

@ prabhakushwaha it seems we have to be aware about the old relationships and the new one if there is any *_*

i thought no harm for old relationship , but you alert for future

well, I don't think it is possible to say hi to him again although he was everything to me! But, it is not possible to welcome him as a friend again in my life simply because his last words painted the whole issue with a black color!

yeah you are right...it is a matter of take or give and i'm giving him off! not for now..i'm not 100% over as i do slightly think of him..

sweet heart i an not saying to take him back in your life. i am saying if you want him grab 100% if you dont let him go 100%. this is life and there r the normal things. if you want to let him go send blessing to him.thanks for those good moments.forget all others things. if you cant that means the issue is not resolved.mother nature will take him in front of you in this life or next liefs.

yeah doing such a strong activities like boxing is great as you would feel energetic every time you do that! just imagine to be boxing him instead I wish I could even slap him for real!

thanks so much dear for providing me with such a great and challenging suggestion!! I like it

Exactly! You get your aggressions and anger out in a productive way. It is a very cathartic exercise and you take your power and control back, focusing on yourself in a positive way, building character and integrity as well. I believe that when you have inner strength and believe and act in that way, you will attract the sort of person who will not want to take advantage of you, but will respect you.

First love is the toughest of all to get over. I'm sorry that you had to go thru all that.

Hi dear.. yeah, the breakup wasn't my idea at all Sid!! I loved him so badly that he was my first love too..I have never imagined that he would easily cheat on me and betray my trust!! It is so difficult to accept the fact that we are over!!It is sooooo difficult! I still unable to trust others!

It is ok dear...this is part of life's challenges and I got no other options but to face the truth

awh thanks so much dearie for the wish wish you a great life and have fun during the weekend

I wish that so...But, I still can't have a complete trust on others!!I still can't perfectly trust any..It is still so difficult to accept the fact that he cheated on me and betrayed my trust!

well, yeah, it does take time to get over pain, specially when somebody had hurt you. I wish you well, and hopefully in time, you'll soon get over the pain, and enjoy life and hopefully you can find that perfect person for you.

yeah that is so true! It hurts me too!! I talked with him once, however, I'm still unable to completely forget the pain of the last words he said to me!!

i understand.. and sometimes what adds tot he pain is that when he acts like he didn't hurt me at all.. as if nothing really happened... grrrr

yeah exactly dear!! it hurts me too

Awh!! that is so good!! I wish I can do that too...well, we are a part since 3 semesters ago..the thing is, I don't miss him! I miss who I thought he was! However, I'm not able to open my heart to others as I'm very much scared though! It does hurt me every time I remember his last pained words!! It is really so difficult and unbelievable to accept the way he treated me lately! It was the treatment for the breakup, but I just couldn't get the hint during that time! I kept on pretending that he is just passing through personal issues that are making him treat me this way!! he was my first love Hanna!!

yeah it is such a long time but the hurt seems to be circulated over my mind! so as u said, our thoughts are cruel! yeah it is... thanks so much Hanna for caring wish you a great life dear *_*

What a long time you have been apart !You said you dont miss him ,just miss who you thought he was ,I want to say that is only your thought ,the thought is so cruel sometimes ,it cant match the reality,right ? He was my first love also ,maybe you love your ex so much and I know we girls all love our first love very much and cant forget them easily.But I still hope you can find your nexe boy who can really love you. Good luck ,dear

your name indicates that you are too sweet! and it has somehow influenced your thought here yeah your comment is so sweet... well, I don't think so that he has any sort of feelings though he did show some after the breakup but I was too hurt that I didn't take any of his steps seriously...I do have very light feelings every time I think of him! It is still so difficult to forget! he was my first love and coz of him, i'm not able to fall in love again! I'm so scared at the moment and I don't have confidence on anyone..I'm too scared to be hurt again

thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me.. yeah, it is really difficult to talk again... i'm not a brave enough!