Do you think you can change a person to love you?
By kingparker
@kingparker (9673)
United States
June 17, 2010 3:40pm CST
Would you say my dear cousin wasted his time for that girl? He told me that he fell in love with this girl, and they totally come from different cultures. He won't mind, and he is willing to learn from her. He would dedicate to her whatever it takes. 2 years ago, he found out that the girl only treat him like a friend, and no romance whatsoever. Even though he knew about this fact, he believe that he can change her mind some day with his honesty, and his hard work toward her. It seems 2 years past, and nothing really change that girl's mind. There were up and downs, and I told my cousin flat out, she might not that into you. I also suggested him find an alternative, not dedicate all his energy and his time on her. Do you think my cousin totally waste his time?
2 people like this
9 responses
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
17 Jun 10
You can not honestly change a person to love you. If you try to force your intentions on someone, you end up getting hurt and disappointed in the process. Love is an emotion that has to come naturally. It can not be pushed on someoneone. The relationship will be doomed to faiure.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
17 Jun 10
I don't think that my cousin is forcing that girl to love him per se. He just want to use his own way, or his nice personality to change her mind, even give him a chance to like him more, further from mere friendship.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
17 Jun 10
Oh, it is a free country, you won't need my permission to post anything here.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
17 Jun 10
So, my cousin is totally waste his time. I already told him so, he just won't give up on this.
@josga2008 (320)
• Canada
18 Jun 10
It's worth a trip I suppose. I just don't know though as to why you would want to do this. I mean, why would you want a person to love you if they were changed into doing it? I would always wonder if their feelings were genuine if they stayed with me that way. If it doesn't happen naturally, then chances are you can't engineer love to happen.
@dexter77 (67)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
Love is one thing that you cannot be forced to grow. Love is sweet and strong if it is developed slowly in time. If you sense that there is no way that the person you really want to fall in love with you, I guess it is really a waste of time so may be you should look for another one. Let's put it this way... if it's meant to be, no matter how long will it takes, it is meant to be...
@smileyanchel (32)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
i dont think changing a person is a really easy task regarding in what he/she feels. But i think such thing is possible although the chances are 50:50 its a risky move to take investing your time in a thing with no definite result but if you really want the person why not do it maybe that person is just wating for you to step in. Regarding your cousin i dont think it has been a waste of time because im sure the girl have noticed his efforts and has taken note of him though with your story the girl how much effort your cousin has done she wont budge well if she's a worthy one why dont try to budge her even more dont give up.
@tiffanymiro (48)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
I think you are right! doing the best thing you can is not a waste of time. While there is life there is hope. It's not yet too late. If I am in his shoes, i'll do everything i can so i have no regrets in the end. Atleast i tried. And no one will ever know what would be the outcome. who knows, they are meant for each other.
@SkylerD (85)
• United States
18 Jun 10
I dont think you can honestly change someone or convince them to fall in love with you. I belive that love is a very random personal experience that has to come to person on their own. However it may seem like you can change them over time because each day the person your with is growing closer to you and learning a little bit more about you. Onece your parter is close enough and knows enough about you they may share your feelings of love, not because you changed their mind but because their hearts have excepted love for you.
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
18 Jun 10
Well...in a harsh way, yes he wasted time. I hope your cousin is realizing it. love is not something that can be control. At least he has som life experience now. But life is all about successes and failures. What is important is that he moves on and forget that girl. If he is to attatched to her, things will be difficult for him and a the end, your cousin will suffer greatly.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
17 Jun 10
Hi king parker: I think he has probably waste his time but at the same time he loves someone so that's not a total waste of time. Even if it hurts iot's really positive to be humans and have these kind of feelings. I think that is very idealistic to think that you can make a person loves you. It's not impossible but it's better that you understand that this could happend or not, your hurt could end broken so easily because your putting your hope on someone that for the moments don't think on you as a lover. It's sad but this makes part of loving someone too. Thanks for sharing with us this story. Have a nice day.
ALVARO
@myswirlyagelessmind (379)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
I never want anybody to love me for an unoriginal version of myself. I may win his love at first but I just may lose my self-esteem afterwards. Your cousin should just be himself and really think it over if he wants that girl to love him for his pretention. You cannot force someone to love you.
