Judging someone by their appearance.
By pooja30
@pooja30 (203)
India
June 18, 2010 10:05am CST
What if one day you happen to come across somebody, not by the usual methods of meeting them through a friend, or work, or class, but say for instance, you meet them online. You talk online for a few days, and this progresses to phone calls and texts. Now, by this point, you've had enough time to formulate your opinion of the person, and let's say you don't really think much of them. Maybe they're a little dull, maybe you have very few common interests, maybe you even think they're not really that attractive.
Now you've set yourself to this opinion, that this person is just average, if not slightly below it. You try to reduce communication, because it hasn't progressed to anything serious yet, and you want to nip it in the bud as soon as you possibly can. Let's assume you're successful and you now have very little contact with that person. Then, one day, you find out something about this person that makes him/her extremely attractive - what he/she does for a living. You didn't really pay much attention when it came up before, but somehow seeing it published somewhere makes it extremely special for some reason. But he/she is out of your life now, by your choice, and all you can do is kick yourself for judging based on your initial impressions.
I think I rambled a bit too much, but this happened with me recently and with a few friends a while back. We all met people we decided we didn't like, managed to keep things to a bare minimum, and then found out the one detail we found very hot but couldn't do a thing about it! My point is, has this happened with any of you? If it did, did you manage to correct yourself the next time around? Or did the vicious judgement cycle continue?
2 people like this
6 responses
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
18 Jun 10
lol...this reminds me of the story of Johnny Lingo who married what everyone in the village considered to be the ugliest girl in the village. When the bargaining for the girl came, the father asked for three cows, which most in the village thought a ridiculously high price. Johnny Lingo said, "Three cows is many...but not enough for Mahana. I will pay you eight cows." The whole village thought it was ridiculous and that Johnny was joking. He had a reputation of being the sharpest trader in the islands. But sure enough, the next day, he brought eight cows to Mahana's father.
They went off on their honeymoon and when they came back, no one recognized Mahana, she had become so beautiful. The owner of the trading post asked what had happened. Johnny told him, "It was the cows. Everyone in the village, even her own father, told her she was ugly so she believed it. When I paid the cows, I showed her her true worth. There is nothing that makes a woman so beautiful as what she thinks of herself."
Often these "unattractive" people only need some encouragement to bring out their inner beauty. It's not the outside package that matters, but the heart inside. The Bible tells us that God "looks not on the outward appearance but on the heart".
There is something called a "countenance" which is the way a person carries himself/herself and that is far more important than physical appearance. Character is what I fall in love with, not physical beauty. Sadly, when others look at me, the interest is not there so I imagine I will be alone now for the rest of my life. :)
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
Sometimes people judge someone easily.
By the looks,and the way they speak.
We cannot blame other people for judging other people,it is their opinion,and sometimes,first impression lasts.
I met few people from social sites,chatting online,progress thru texts and calls.
And,assuming to grow the relationship,and later found out,slowly it is getting unclear.
Actually,it hurts to think that,hoping for a relationship to progress and have a happy ending is so desperately hurting.
Now,i am learning from lesson,not to expect too much.
I am not judging by the looks,but the kind of person i am talking with.
Looks are deceivers,but the inner good man is what i am looking for.
Happy weekend
@balasri (26537)
• India
19 Jun 10
As far as I am concerned looks can be very deceptive.I have come across many beautiful cobras and not so good looking angels in my life.Beauty sure is only skin deep.If there are really beautiful good people they are blessed and so we are if we have the chance to move with them.
@srganesh (6339)
• India
19 Jun 10
No! I haven't faced any situation like this. But it can happen in my life too. We cannot relate to people without judging them. Some people will fail to impress in the beginning. it may be because we might not have discussed all the things with them.
If I didn't like them for any reason and left them before, I will not like to take them back for another good reason. In short, I will follow the first impression alone.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
19 Jun 10
On the past, I would do the same just what you described above. But now, I learn my lesson. I just regret how many perfect opportunity I had missed, and I didn't do anything to correct my wrong opinion toward someone. I just hate myself for doing it. Now, I try my best not to judge anyone, base on their personality.
@speedblitz (214)
• India
18 Jun 10
Well Pooja , I was in the same situation few months back !!
Still feeling about the opportunity lost !!.
When I realised about it , it was too late and her marriage was fixed already !!
She is still a great friend of mine !! She was the one who proposed to me but at that time , i din't have a liking towards her as my soul mate !! .
But the interest she showed towards me and other personal situations made me move towards her slowly , but it was too late and i let an opportunity to have a wonderful soul mate pass thorugh .
One thing well learnt - Looks matter the least in relationships and Never ever judge by your first impressions , Though the saying goes , First Impression is the Best !!
One thing that i savor the most is that she's still a great friend of mine and would still be and we still have a great rapport !!
