is this wierd?
By rosesareblue
@rosesareblue (29)
June 19, 2010 3:36am CST
Here in the UK Sunday is Fathers Day. I asked my ex partner if there was anything that he wanted from his children specifically this year, and his answer was to just see the kids. There is about an hour travelling distance between us and neither of us drives. We both rely on public transport. So I said that I would bring the children to him today (Sat) and they could come home tomorrow (Sun) afternoon. As the cost of transport is quite high he suggested I stop over the night with them to save money... and that it would be nice to have a natter and a catch up once the kids where in bed. I have agreed.
We have been seperated for many years... he has a partner and new child. We are purely friends and parents. Yet I get so many people making snide comments that something must be going on, that its impossible to be just friends with an ex etc etc.
People that I consider "true friends" say that I am very lucky not to have all the complications and animosity that alot of seperated couples have and that my children are very lucky. I agree!
Are others as lucky as me to still have a good friend in their ex partner? Or am I really a very rare case!
7 responses
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
21 Jun 10
You and your ex are in the minority, but I wouldn't say that the situation is unusual. When our son called today, he was out at the home of his soon to be ex-wife. After he talked with his father, I took the phone and chatted with each of them. Although they have been separated for a while and are pending divorce, he frequently goes out to the house to see his two sons. It is just more convenient that way for both our son and his sons. It would be difficult for our son to entertain his sons at his apartment, as they are 10 years apart in age. One at a time works best, but that means more trips. Their home is most convenient for all concerned.
@rosesareblue (29)
•
21 Jun 10
I wish more parents could work like this. It really is so much better for the kids and alot less stress for all the other family members on both sides.
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
19 Jun 10
i really envy your friendship. Though it may seem to be a sort of affair to many people you don't care for what the people speak about you but you know that you and your ex are just friends and nothing more. You care about your kids and so does he. And the most important thing is that both of you have a great understanding for each other. So that can definitely help in future and i am sure your ex had a great fathers day!
@6precious102 (4043)
• United States
20 Jun 10
You're not completely unique. My cousin and her ex spent many years together, but they fought most of those years. Now that they're divorced and both are married to other people, they're good friends.
@fourjems08 (550)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
I think you are a rare case. People who have not been in your situation cannot understand you. But your children are lucky that their parents, though separated, have maintained good relationship. I am not separated but I can understand you coz I have a cousin who's in the same shoes as you are. Don't mind the people around you. Just do what you think is right for your kids. That is all that matters.
@rosie230 (1703)
•
19 Jun 10
No I actually think that it is nice to be able to have such a good friendship with your ex, and his new partner. I think it makes things much better for the kids, as the atmosphere is better. It is also nice for you and him as well, because arguing over the kids just makes you stressed and unhappy. You are very lucky as I know so many couples who are separated and have children, and it is the children who end up suffering, which I think is quite sad really as it is not the children's fault. I would take no notice of any snide comments that you get, there are so many people that judge us on our life.
@rosesareblue (29)
•
19 Jun 10
I agree, it is always the children that suffer. And that is the one thing we wanted to always avoid. Whatever problems we have is between ourselves and not the fault of the children x
@juggerogre (1653)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
I don't think its weird. You have children so I think its just right that you remain as friends. After all even though you are separated you and your ex are still you children parents. I admire people like you. Some people are still not mature enough to see that its possible for ex lovers to be friends. Happy father's day to your ex. 
@oldchem1 (8132)
•
19 Jun 10
I think that it is lovely that you and your ex have such a good relationship - not only for you but for the sake of the children.
I always feel so sorry for children from broken marriages when the parents are at each others throats.
Take no notice of nasty minded people and their snide remarks you are both doing what is right and good for your children, well done the pair of you
