its the lover not the love who broke my heart..
By deriellevc73
@deriellevc73 (982)
Philippines
June 19, 2010 11:10am CST
do you believe that it is the lover, not the love who breaks our heart?
what would you do if your boyfriend finds more time to spend with his friends than with you? to the point that you barely talk with each other? Would you believe him that he is just spending time with friends and not avoiding spending time with you? and if he is indeed avoiding you, would you initiate a call to him if he will not call you up for a day? or would you wait for him till he finds time to communicate with you? You only live 500 meters away from each other by the way..
1 person likes this
9 responses
@anil78650 (177)
• India
20 Jun 10
Hiiiiiiii there 1 st thing first.Don't take it seriously because sometime we need some space from our daily life.Just give him some time, if your love strong then he will sure talk to you and if he not then I am here for you.....................just kidding.............:D.........
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@deriellevc73 (982)
• Philippines
21 Jun 10
hello anil!
thanks for the comment..yeah, maybe your're right..i have to give him time..
@anil78650 (177)
• India
22 Jun 10
Ya you should and.............think about the last line also............okkkkkk
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
20 Jun 10
In this situation i would say that the guy was being a nobody now. He doesn't have time for you and he considers his friends above you. I would show my lover why i love her so much and make everyday like heaven for her. I would give her favorite roses everyday and take her to an outing every week. I would show her how much i truly care for her and why i think i am the best for her. And i believe that in some cases the lover breaks the heart but mostly it's the love which is not able to be shown or being expressed that causes the love to fail. Love is build of trust that's what i believe.
@deriellevc73 (982)
• Philippines
21 Jun 10
hi raviteja!
your lover is truly fortunate to have you as her lover. many women dream of having a guy like that, someone who would openly show their love for us, romantic and all..and giving us their time..but somehow, we are not all that fortunate to find someone like you. we have to make do with our men, who are most of the time callous as to the feelings of their women.
thanks for the comment..and may your kind proliferates!
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
It is the lover that always broke our heart and not the love. The love would be there, but it is just that the lover does not know how to show it to the extent that he/she will take for granted the person who loves him/her.
If my boyfriend would spend time with his friends and he does not call in a day, I would not wait for him to be the one to call. It is hurting to wait, I would rather initiate and know the reason why he is not calling me up. He might be lying, but i want my worries go away.
Guys are that insensitive, they want to be reminded always. But that is a difference that needs to be break. Girls on the other hand has to swallow their pride and do the initiation to communicate rather than wait till your hair turns gray.
@deriellevc73 (982)
• Philippines
21 Jun 10
hello maean!
i feel the same way.. i'd rather swallow my pride and initiate the call rather than just wait until my hair turns gray (lol). i don't want to spend my entire time wondering what's to happen next or should i let myself be available for other potential friendships. I'd rather want to know, no matter how hurting it is, if he doesn' want me anymore, than wait for him and wonder what's to happen to us.
i will not hold on to him if he wants out, but i have to know, where i stand rather than wait for him to call or text me..and jus wonder..
@hiphopgal94 (15)
• United States
19 Jun 10
Guys are all different, but most of them like space. yeah hes not texting you all day or hes not even coming over but maybe he wants you to get out and have fun instead of waiting for him to call you. You have one life so live it to the fullest. Guys don't like to sit around a text all day i know mine doesn't. but i have to respect his piracy (we've been dating a year and a half) and we get along great until i want to talk to him all day. Theres so much you could be doing. if anything ask to go with him or ask if somethings wrong. but don't be pushy
@deriellevc73 (982)
• Philippines
21 Jun 10
hello hiphopgal94
thanks for the advice. yeah, i guess, you're right. i should be having fun instead of just waiting for him to text or spending time mooning over him.
sometimes, i forget that i have so much more to do than moon over him.
@eil_noz (963)
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
I agree with you derielle! Usually lovers tend to change when you have been together or spent time a lot to each other may it be for good or for bad changes. Most of the time boys tend to spend more time to their friends maybe because he doesn't enjoy your company or he's more used to be with his friends and enjoy their company. maybe you need to give space to him sometime, give him a chance to somehow miss you. well, if he truly loves you he won't hesitate to call you back.
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
22 Jun 10
I actually don't mind if my boyfriend spends more time with his friends. I learned this after my first real relationship, which was like this. More time for his friends. we fought over it a lot and eventually he grew tired of it and left.
After that relationship, I tend to give more space, which I think really works. It works for me well. I like having my space, as much space as possible. This is because it helps us grow as persons, and it also makes our relationship grow. We have trust in each other and by the time we meet up, we really miss each other, so we tend to be sweeter :)
Also, I'd like to add that I think there is no instance where love breaks your heart. It's always the lover. I mean, how can love break your heart? It's just an emotion. What makes it painful or joyful is the person who's making you feel the emotion
@juggerogre (1653)
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
Yes I agree with you. Its your boyfriend's fault not the love. Love is just a feeling. And it can never harm us. What really hurts us is the people that we love. If he's spending more time with his friends rather than with you then there's really a problem in your relationship. He should balance his time with you and his friends. I think you should just wait for him to try and talk to you. Don't try calling or texting him. He's ego will just increase if you keep on doing that.
