Have you ever been so mad you knew you werent safe to be around?

I am confused, bunnybon. Is this YOUR house your son's girlfriend is coming to spend 2 months at? All I can tell you is that, if I were in this situation and it was my house, I would tell my son to go and visit her in New York instead of her coming there. This is something that should have been approved by you ahead of time, not just dumped in your lap. It sounds to me like your son is controlling everything and, of course, he's allowing his girlfriend to control him. He should have more respect for you and your feelings. After all, you did go rounds with this female before. She has absolutely no right to tell you what you can or cannot say in your own home. She has no right to bring her dog without your permission! That is, assuming this is your home and your son is living with you. My son had a "girlfriend" from another state and she showed up on my doorstep one day. My son said she was going to stay for a month or so. I asked him if she was going to pay for her stay because there was no way I could afford to support ANOTHER person. Even for a week, it was a great hardship to me. He said she had no money. I said, "Then she leaves tonight." I told him I did not care where she went. If she could not afford to go home, she could call her mother to have money wired here to buy a bus ticket. My son was 21 at the time but this girl was only 18 and still lived with her mother. The thing is, it is extremely disrespectful for anyone to just assume that it's okay to invite "friends" to come and visit with no intention of paying anything towards the added expenses. It is inconceivable to me that a visitor (such as your son's girlfriend) thinks it's okay to tell her host (you) what she can and cannot say in her own home and now, bringing along her dog, I just would not stand for this. I'd have to tell my son there's no way I can deal with her staying more than a day and definitely NOT with her child or her dog. Sorry about the rant. This is a touchy subject with me. NO ONE disrespects me in my own home. They'd be out the door in a flash and I wouldn't care who I got into an argument with. If my son moved out, fine. Then, his girlfriend could stay with him at his home and not disrupt my life. Anyway, I can't say that I've ever been that angry, so angry that I'm not safe to be around. Oh, I've had my tantrums but they always consisted of screaming with an occasional door slamming, nothing more. I can definitely get pretty loud! LOL If you are having trouble now with your temper, think about what you might be like toward the end of this gal's stay. You really need to think this through. If you cannot handle her acting toward you like she did before, you need to tell your son that she cannot stay at your house. Let him know how much it upsets you and stand your ground. Good luck!

Well having gone through menopause I felt I wasn't safe to be around. Horrid (I mean nasty) mood swings. I still have them hit me sometimes. Yikes. Scary. Isn't it weird how some people or things can just set you off though? I hate when that happens to me. It happens every time my ex is around.. he can still push those buttons and I still let the anger take over me. Glad you had someone who could help you calm down. I usually just have to leave the room or the house and walk or get my head straight again when I get angry.

I get that way a lot when I get stressed at the kids. A lot of little things tend to build up and I become overly stressed out. I call my husband when I start to feel this way, but he can't always leave work in order to help me. I try to find other ways to calm down, like listening to music or going for a walk... but with the kids around it isn't always calming. Normally I tend to just send them to bed early so I get some peace and don't take things out on them.

I certainly have, Bon. I'm sorry U & your son got into it over this stupid girl, AGAIN. It's a shame he can't see her true colors. I would not change anything i do for her.That is your home & she's just a visitor. I would set my son straight before she gets there that she could go along w/my way of doing things or she could stay home. it's ridiculous the way he acts about her!!

I am not a speaking type of person. Whenever I get mad or angry I do not express it outwardly, instead, I keep it inside as long as my body and mind can hold it. But I admit that sometimes it overflows and bursts out that makes me do things I shouldn't be doing. I have that inner darker side of me as I may say. But I'm learning to control that now. I do not want anybody to get hurt again, including myself. What I do to avoid unnecessary movements or thoughts is to breathe deep and allow myself to stay calm for a while and when the anger or madness suppresses, that's the time I think of what my next move would be. And I'm glad that all things work together for good and have avoided such disasters...^_^

You are not alone my friend, I've had that experience before and it's something that I don't want to ever feel again. There was one time when things we're pretty hectic at work and its one of those days when everything feels like nothing is going my way. I went home feeling really tired and exhausted. I was sitting in the living room with my son and wife, and she said something that I didn't like, and since I'm already edgy, I snapped and we had a big argument. I normally see to it that we do not fight in front of our kid but this time it was different, I almost hit her and I swear I'm not that violent of a person to ever think of hitting her. Instead, I threw the vase at the wall and it scared both of them, my son started crying and my wife was just dumbfounded, it was the first time that they saw me like that. That still did not calm me down, its like I just want to hit someone over and over again, so I just went up to our room and locked myself up. I didn't want anything further to happen to my wife and son. After I had cleared my mind, I realized what I did and I was wondering why I even did that since I've never done that before, I apologized to them but things we're not really ok until after about a month after what happened. So far, things are pretty calm now and I've never experienced that feeling again, I hope it goes the same to you.

Wow Bunny I would have gone mad to as I do not like it when People say that I hope you are not being to stressed out still and I hope that your Son is starting to think about this Relationship to be honest I mean he has to realize when he takes her on he will also take the Son on so I think he needs to think about it all Hugs to you

oh yea.i usually have to go for a big long walk and be by myself for awhile. the best thing for me is to get away from whoever made me mad.

My goodness Bunnybon, you are going to have a nervous breakdown. I have no idea what happened to you back in the winter when this girl came to stay, but I can certainly tell by this discussion it wasn't pleasant in the least. Did your son ask you if she could come, and ESPECIALLY with her dog? That is something that needs to be dicussed first, but it doesn't sound like it was. And for 2 MONTHS? That's only something you do with a relative or friend that you completely enjoy to spend time with, not someone you dislike or can't stand to be around. It's not going to work, not at all. I completely agree with Mentalward on this subject and you really need to realize that she is ONLY a visitor, nothing else. She is coming to YOUR house, so she follows YOUR rules, no one elses. You are going to end up in the hospital before she even gets to your house. It's just not worth it and I can tell you're going to explode again soon. Let her stay at a hotel/motel compliments of your son.

hi bunnybon I think most of us mylotters have been there at leastonce if not more. When my son told me that after his boss had laid him off, the boss from hell has the meanness to call up the people that pay a person when hes laid off and tell them that my son was so horrible. so those people, I wish to God I could think of the name, ten minutes ago I would have remembered, but the organization that pays a person so much of his original check each month til he get a new job.I was so furious and I almost tried to call this boss and tell him what I thought then realized it wou ld probably just make things worse. Why if your son knows how you feel about this woman does he insist on her visiting you and with her dog yet? do not you have the right to say, not in my house, son, she can stay in a motel. You know how I feel" I feel that she should not imp;ose on you and with a dog yet. I would be harder on your son, than you are. lol

I've been mad enough that people shouldn't be around me because I was grouchy and unpleasant. Never mad enough that people had to be physically afraid of me or anything.

No problem at all with it being long. I know that there are times that we need to vent when there are things that we are having problems with. It isn't right of your son to say that he doesn't want your dog and her dog to be the cause of fights and try as you might, there is going to be something that comes up that is going to cause them to be the subject of controversy. The space is your dog's territory and there really is a good chance that she isn't going to like having another dog there.

I feel like there are a few times where it is sometimes for the best that I stay away from other people. For their protection and to keep me from doing something that I am going to regret. It takes a while to push me to such a level of anger. However, when it happens, it is normally a very spectacular and sometimes rather scary thing to deal with. I tend to isolate myself as far away from others as I can. I think that without human contact, I will be able to really calm my nerves down. That way, I can return rather soon and resume my normal life. Still, if I am at that state, its best that I do not talk to anyone. Still, I have been in a state of anger that could have potentially lead to violence. It is scary to think about it sometimes but it is very true.

Hello bunnybon7, I have never been that angry. The first time that I was angry enough to visualize myself in jail was when I bought a new American car, and it broke down the next day. The owner of the dealership told me "It is just a car!" I knew I had to walk away. I believe that "the pen is mightier than the sword." Sure enough that auto dealer went out of business 6 months later. :)

Oh yes, I remember your earlier discussion on the coming visit…or impending disaster, shall we say LOL BTW, yes, I’ve been that mad though I’m under self-therapy these days. Its mostly to do with my son (who’s a kid really) and you know how difficult its with them most of the times…anyways, previously I used to have a lot of bad situations between us, when I would actually beat him up in moments of pure raging madness…however, I came here with my problem and friends here have advised me to just move away and now I practice just that…I either lock myself up in the bathroom or bedroom or just scream to myself to let off the steam

I haven't felt that I would hurt someone but occasionally when my kids were small I would tell them to play in their rooms because Mommy was about to have a tantrum over something they had nothing to do with. This happened about once a year. I wasn't concerned I would physically hurt them but that I might snap something at them that would hurt their feelings or say something about their dad that they should not hear. After about twenty minutes I would go in and play with them and we'd sometimes talk about ways to handle feelings but usually life went on as normal. It didn't happen often, they don't remember that ever happening. Keep your cool. Be up front and honest with the GF about your feelings and be assertive, don't let her walk on you. If a person isn't good to their lover's parents, they aren't good for that person.

Hi bunnybon7, This has got to be sorted out, its better to live away from your son as he just cannot see sense, he thinks more of his girlfriend then you and talks down to you, you should come first and not his girlfriend, she should go and stay some where else and not in your home then treat you as if you are nothing,she don't own your home, to be honest, your son should not be living with you. DON't take any notice of her. Tamara

Hello bunnybon7, I always get this notion of feeling angry when things doesn't go my way or when i am tired of doing a lot of stuff but not mylot.just like tonight i suddenly had a head ache that i had to sleep, i couldn't even talk to my mom straight, but i told her that i had some sort of a headache but i took tylenol now. he should have told you early so that he would know what would you think. i can understand that when you are not informed of something and he didn't think you wouldn't get upset.but you shouldn't keep your anger, if you let it out you might get a heart attack.

I've felt that way before when someone got on my nerves, but it will pass in a few hours, sincerely, if i was in your case i wouldn't let her come to my house, to avoid problems. It's your house, so only you put the rules in it.