do they need to adopt him?

You sound jealous, don't be. The adopted baby boy has no one else to love him other than your parents in law while your son have both his mommy and daddy (if his parents love him enough, they wouldn't let him to be adopted, right?) I am sure your parents in law love your baby. Talking about special attention, maybe that's the way she treats him, let her be. Or try not to visit her for a little while, maybe she will call

that truly is a painful situation to be in... but maybe we should just give it more time. affection is relative. it doesn't just come through the bloodline. some friends even stick closer than a brother, as they say. this doesn't mean something is wrong with you or your child though. it simply means personal affection. no need to rationalize it, because it is emotional in nature. on the side, it might also help finding out if there is an unresolved issue between your families. it might not be true, but it might have some effect one way or the other. but best part of all... you need to know what really disturbs you on the indie... deep down. it is plain patronage or something deeper? i would feel the same way for my children, i mean wanting their grandparents to love them and be fond of them. to a certain extent, i will wonder why as well if such is withheld. but to carry some form of resentment might mean some other thing you know. what worries you about the legal name? just helping you think deeper, because it will help resolve some other issues you might have deep down. i wish you the best onwards.

Hi Butterline, Welcome to Mylot. I am sure that your son's grandmother loves him very much. She is probably adopting this child because she loves him as well. In her heart, he is really her son. I don't think you should let it get to you so. I still had 3 children at home when my grandson was born and so I know how it is to be raising a child while being a grandparent and trying to divide your time for everyone. My youngest was 4 yrs. old when my grandson was born. Unless you really want to alienate your mother-in-law then I would not voice your thoughts regarding her adopting this child. It is their decision and not your place. I don't think it is all about carrying the family name at all. They probably really love the boy they are adopting and whether or not he has their blood doesn't matter.

Don't be bitter ma'am. It simply means their affections are on the other boy. I hate to say that but that is how I see it. Blood may not be able to grasp love, but somehow that is what it is. I guess the best thing you can do is let go of the resentments and bitterness, and be the best that you can be to them. Who knows tides will change, everything can change. The more you are resentful, the more their affections will be on the adopted kid. Good day butterline..

yes they need to adopt him. i am really having a hard time adjusting in my married life right now,especially with my mother in law. here's the scenario,they have adopted a bay boy not really in legal ,a son from their nanny before they really treated them as their own grandson.

Maybe your in laws just wanted to help. I think the situation is quite clear that the boy's family cannot afford to support him since his parents are already making a lot of babies. Maybe they also give more attention to their adopted son because they took care of him since he was still a baby. I think your in laws also love your son, as you said he is their blood grandson, maybe they are just confident enough that you are your husband will be able to take care of your sons and with them, just loving him.

take it easy my dear. You can't control anybody about anything or anyone. It just shows that their affection is with the adopted boy. and the more you become bitter about it, the more you create an issue inside you that will just make you feel bad. the most important thing is, you are a caring mother to your child and that your son will neveer have the fate of that adopted child because he has a family who will surely nurture and love him... be glad with that fact......

Boy are you in an awkward position. I think your mother-in-law is just trying to save this adopted child from it's previous, obviously terrible parents. However the fact that she favors it more than her blood grandchild is not good at all. She should treat the two babies equally. One is not better than the other.