Am I the Worst Friend Ever?

I don't think your a bad friend. The friend 3rd party should not have said anything. That was unfriendly to her. Why couldn't her husband take her? Does she have any other family member that lives around her that she could've called? When she knew she had another friend coming she should have told you instead of being selfish and wanting to pull both of you away from your families. If I were you I would have taken her to the hospital and drop her off because wasn't Sunday Father's Day? Don't feel bad. Your feelings were not taken in to point of view. I am there for my friends but I wouldn't ask them to do something that would interupt there family time. And I wouldn't get mad at them if they didn't want to stay at the hospital with me because I'm a big girl and wouldn't want my friends waiting while I had to deal with the doctor and all the other stuff that goes on. I guess if your a bad friend I am.:) But me and my friends see eye to eye. Her husband should've taken her.

im the same way. i try to keep complaints to myself or vent them here where people are not closely involved with others i know in real life. also, i dont repeat things to others just to cause trouble when i know it will. i think thats the whole problem with son and his gf's. they say things about me and he tells me then if i say something, he tells them. i told him a while back, this is not helpful toward good feelings and getting along. now, your one friend should not have repeated your words to the other.

you should have just said no and left it that. what i am really shocked at is that her hubby wouldnt go with her! he should have dropped everything and took her in the first place.

hi dorannmwin My first question is why could not the second girl who visited your ill friend have been the one to take your friend to the 'ER in the first place? Secondly as the other girl was visiting her in the ER you should have got a clue that they were perhaps very close, probably closer than you are to the sick girl.So I would not have told her anything I did not want repeated. I know this is second thought, but I was in a similar situation once and only because someone said the other girl was extremely close to my ill friend, I thought better than telling her that I was not to happy at having to come with my ill friend as I had more pressingthings at home with my own ill child. I was so tempted to tell this other girl how I really felt, but something said dont do it. No that did not make you a terrible friend at all . You were just caught in an uncomfortable situation and were honest in talking to the other girl who turned out to be Miss blabber mouth. And next time anyone wants you to take them to ER know it will mean a long long wait in most any ER. so if its going to really upset your own plans I suggest you offer a better alternative.

I think sometimes its not good to voice your opinion to other people because some people just don't know how to keep quiet. I have learned the hard way myself. Well, I don't think that you were being a bad friend and in a way it does sound like you were being pressured into taking her to the hospital. I think that you should have just told your friend that you were busy and that you would not be able to take her to the emergency room. That's what I would have done.

no i don't think you are a bad friend. you went with her to the hospital but since it turned out that there was also another friend who came along, i understand how you might have felt in that situation. i would stay away from that other friend in the future; she should not have repeated what you said to your sick friend. and your sick friend should not get mad at you because you were doing her a favor accompanying her to the hospital. true she was feeling sick but maybe she should just have asked one friend to go with her and not inconvenience too many people. besides, if it was an emergency, why couldn't her husband take her?

No, you are not the worst friend ever - you took her. I would've taken her and then said - "call me if they let you go and I'll pick you up."

dorannmwin, In the first place, this friend of yours is no short of friends to go to the ER with her and besides she has a husband, who is supposed to be doing the job. So, I feel you have every right to feel the way you are feeling with this situation because of all the people, why do you have to be the one accompanying her to the ER? It just makes no sense here. Besides, since you mentioned that she has appendicitis which will need surgery - I am sure your friend and you will not be able or fit to sign the consent papers especially when her husband is around. The way I see this is, dorammwin - you are not a bad person and you are human. However, if I may just add, the next time before you decide to undertake such a job please consider this- if you do not feel right or wholehearted about it, then don't do it at all. Learn to say no and refuse it upfront. If you find it disheartening half way, keep it to yourself because you can never trust who the next person with your grievances, especially when it being retold in their version. Making your sacrifices worthless. I am really sorry for what you have gone through and believe me I am on your side here. But, your friend who accompanied you is just one questionable character and I just marvel how stories can be spun to your disadvantage. You just found the wrong person to talk to this time. Nevermind, it will come to pass and everything will resume back to normal in due time. Take care and have a nice day.

I guess it's safer not to say anything that you don't want to have repeated. But I agree that you should avoid the person who did the repeating. She clearly can't be trusted to keep her mouth shut. No, you're not a bad friend. You stepped up when you were needed. As for her husband, "wouldn't go with her?" What kind of a husband is that?

I think you are not the worst friend ever and don't take it seriously or feel that you are. I understand your situations and your friends situation too. Since you really went to see her and be there for her you already done your part. That other friend of yours should have not relay the message to your friend who is sick because she is very sensitive especially that specific time. I just don't understand what that other girl is thinking about. Why couldn't she just keep to herself what you been telling her. Is she trying to play something or just wanted you to look like a bad person in front of your friend. Sometimes people are insensitive.

Oh my! Well, first, I think you are a good friend for taking your friend to ER, even though you didn't want to. Fact is, you dropped what you were doing, and took her . . . I hope she is at least grateful for that. Sitting in ER - especially in the waiting room - can take seriously long hours . . . it's not fair to ask someone to be there the entire time (especially since you have a family!). Second, who is this tattle-taling second friend? I'm sure you told her stuff confidentially - she should have known that. That was very insensitive and inappropriate of her to tell your sick friend (and to rat on you). And why was she also there in the first place - how much support did your sick friend need? I don't think you were bashing her - you were just being honest - and no, you're not a terrible person. If I were her, I probably would have picked up that you didn't want to be there if you asked how long it would take. But I suppose she was desperate for someone to take her (since her lousy hubby wouldn't do it). And if that were the case, I would have said thank you and for you to go as soon as I knew I was in good hands so as not to inconvenience you any longer. I personally would have been grateful that you even took me. I don't know what kind of husband she has that he wouldn't take her to ER - that's really sad. He is really the one she needs to direct her anger to. I know if it were me, I would have made up some believable excuse and not go period. Some of my friends are all about the drama, so I just won't let them talk me into doing certain things for them. And I think I would have held in my "real" thoughts - only because I've been through similar back stabbing situations myself in the past. And believe me, I don't trust these certain friends anymore!!

First of all i would like to know why her hubby should not accompany her.. You are definitely not the worst friend but a ggod friend, this is because you felt hurt and sharing with us, she is not a good friend rather..the world is like this.. selfish//you do 10000 good they never accept .. Thanks for sharing. Welcome always. Cheers. Prof

yes you done the good job of being a good friend.And about the words you said was your anger of not being with your daughter. If I were in your situation I will be glad and try to calm down my anger, cause never know when we need some help and the first person will show up is the person we help......so never let your friend down.............and that what you did...so you are a good friend..... and if the situation is that your daughter is somewhere else accept your parents home the what would you do do you help your friend or help your daughter.......??

I don't think this incident makes you a bad friend. Even though you really didn't want to go to the hospital, you went. Surely your friend can appreciate that. Not everyone is comfortable in hospitals. My brother couldn't even go and see his newly born neice, he was that afraid to go! You showed your face, and left when you felt too uncomfortable to stay. It's not as if you left your friend alone. She had another friend there. And about telling the other friend your feelings, you seemed to have felt justified in your stance. I must admit, in her shoes, i probably wouldn't have reported back that you felt uncomfortable being there, but if she felt that you didn't want to be there because you didn't care, then maybe she thought she was jsut looking out for your sick friend. I guess it all depends on how close you all are as friends.

god i hate people like that. i would just try to explain it to the girl in question if she'll listen. i would just say look,i had my family to get back to,i'm sorry. they can't expect you to be there every minute when you have a child,especially if someone else was there that could stay with her.

I guess I don't understand why you were there at all? Couldn't she have gotten to the hospital with just one friend? Did she have to have two? Didn't you know the other friend would be there? Maybe you should have just kept your mouth shut but why would the other friend say something to the sick person that she knew would hurt her? There is some nasty motives going on here. I'm sorry you got caught up in it.

No, your not! The rude people in this scenario were the HUSBAND and the third party. The husband must have the IQ of a toad. I'd drop the third party as a friend after giving her a piece of my mind! I am very careful about the friends I have, keeping a close circle only. And what was that you needed to do instead? Going to play poker and drink? And who does like hanging around a doctors office? Get some better friends!

No you are not. Once happend to me the same , and we are still good friends.