how do you know if people grew up?

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what do you think about the words growing up? i mean this girl says some of us from high school have not grown up and that she is the best at all she does being a house wife. she totally talks negative about people and i was always there for her but when i need her she totally just ignored me. we are not real friends anymore like we use to be. she was so depressed and sad. but i told her to met people on the internet and she found a church to go to and met new people. now she totally acting like a nut and being so rude to me like i am nothing and never helped her. to me i think she has not grown up. she has everyone cater to her includng her hubby. he works for the national guard and does very well but she dont do a thing. infact when he gets home he cooks dinnner for him, her and there son. its dont make no sense. one time we went and visited them 2 hour drive and the hubby shut off the lights while there were like 8 people in the trailer. he said to her mom well im the one who pays for the electric. it almost seemed to me like he was evil and a control freak... anyways at times i felt bad for her and now she is just turned reall strange like i am no one. any thoughts and advice?