Less talking and more listening, will it help winning more friends?
By vijayanths
@vijayanths (7877)
India
June 29, 2010 9:31am CST
We have two years and one mouth. May be God designed so to listen more and talk less?
Are you a good listener?
In my opinion listening is very important. You can talk much if the other person is showing interest to listen 
to you. Some people don't want to listen what others say even in an argument. They will lose friendship,love and support from others.
Now let me listen to what you are going to say on this?
Are you a good listener?
In my opinion listening is very important. You can talk much if the other person is showing interest to listen to you. Some people don't want to listen what others say even in an argument. They will lose friendship,love and support from others.
Now let me listen to what you are going to say on this?2 people like this
19 responses
@mario_stevens (6971)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
yup...listening and understanding what we are hearing
too many people either don't listen at all, or just hear things without actually listening ..
too many people either don't listen at all, or just hear things without actually listening ..@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
that's the next stage mario. yes there is a big difference between hearing and listening. You are smart to remind me that.
I listen to you and hear what our vannie says..
@vandana7 (100282)
• India
30 Jun 10
Mario - does that mean that the person who is deaf is not worth being a friend?
@mario_stevens (6971)
• Malaysia
30 Jun 10
Van, how in God's green earth did you come to that conclusion? it is pretty obvious that you are reading without understanding. the discussion did not even hint about individuals with disabilities, and i will never discriminate against a person with disabilities.. i am a volunteer in a service organization and within that organization i am taking care of a home for troubled children who some of them are lacking the normal abilities that we take for granted.
i discriminate against idiots who refuse to even attempt to think using their brains..
i know that you are a smart lady, and this may sound harsh..but i do take offense at that statement of yours. there are many many ways to be humorous and be funny without being as direct and rude as that.
@tomitomi (5429)
• Singapore
29 Jun 10
Agree! It's such a wonderful design to take notice of. Hearing alone does not help in accomplishing things. And the opposite is obviously true. It's the talking and doing that come along after all those hearing. And that's equally true in helping to win friends. Afterall, two ears and one mouth, that's a good lead to follow!
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
well said tomitomi. As usual your comments are truly fantastic and thought provoking.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
29 Jun 10
hello dear anna,
Ok,i am a good listener,but i can't resist talking too.
I know when to stop,i know when it's time for me to talk.
I listen to people who talk with sense,esp with sense of humor,yah,i love to laugh.
And,i know when it is time for me have the table.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
that's so good jai dear. One should know when to talk and when to stop. You are a smart lady, no wonder you know these things. You are my sister know, so these things come to you naturally.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
29 Jun 10
Sweetie, i don't mind to listen, but rambling and sulking i avoid at all cost.
If someone cannot listen while i am talking, while i think you know where they can go then.
I don't think we can put this under gaining or loosing friends.
It won't be friends if talking and listening would be a problem, would it?
TATA.
I don't think we can put this under gaining or loosing friends.
It won't be friends if talking and listening would be a problem, would it?
TATA.@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
saphy, I am listening to you.
It's important that we should let others to talk, we should listen to them. Even if somebody bores me, I will try to listen what they say or simply nod as a mark of participating in the conversation.
In general it's a good habit. Of course in the long run it will get you more friends as well.
I am sure our vannie has some freaking views on this that I wanna listen now
It's important that we should let others to talk, we should listen to them. Even if somebody bores me, I will try to listen what they say or simply nod as a mark of participating in the conversation.
In general it's a good habit. Of course in the long run it will get you more friends as well.
I am sure our vannie has some freaking views on this that I wanna listen now
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
that's so sweet of you dear sister Jotomy. I am so happy my sisters are clever.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
yeah skysaner every one will be happy to talk much and want others listen to them with great interest.
In my experience I have learned to listen to what the other person has to say.It's very important to know about their views.
It's a bit difficult to listen but we need to practice it with patience.
If you listen to 50 minutes in a hour conversation people will think and declare you are a good conversationalist.
@ram_cv (16513)
• India
30 Jun 10
I believe you meant two ears (and not years :)) and one mouth. Yes, the problem is that the two ears are so small compared to the wide mouth :) That is why some people take a lot and hear so less. The bigger problem is out of what we hear there is only a small portion that we listen to intently and understand. If you really need to be successful, you need to be a good listener and understand the point that is being communicated.
Cheers!
Ram
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
30 Jun 10
hi, ram thanks for pointing out the error, it must be ears and not years. We can't edit it though.
That's a good point. People who can listen seem to have better chances of tasting success.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
30 Jun 10
I agree that listening is the best communication tool ever! I have a thing about listening and I become very upset when I come across someone who is too busy focusing on his or her self to listen. The reason for that is that my mother rarely bothers to focus on my sister and me and does not hear most of we say because she is over preoccupied with herself! My husband being the typical male also has the bad habit of not always listening and it has caused us to have the odd argument or two over the years! I think that attentively listening to what another person has to say is the kindest and most considerate thing to do; it validates the other person when you give them your undivided attention.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
30 Jun 10
Hi, Paula, it's a kind of good manner to listen I mean. It means you respect the other person and have concern over them. I think listening is very important.
1 person likes this
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
30 Jun 10
Hi vijayanths! I wouls rather say the better listener you are the more you'll have friends. As what I have noticed, most people love talking than hearing other person's opinions and life stories.
I can say that I am more of a listener than a talker because I noticed that most people I know doesn't really care what you will say, instead of listening, their minds are out there somewhere trying to think of something to say.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
30 Jun 10
you are absolutely right aisaellis. If you are a good listener you become a good conversationalist. You become a good friend to them. It helps you a lot in the long run, thanks.
@sumanadep (1228)
• India
29 Jun 10
I don't think so.... I am a person who talk less... I have friends but can't that I have more than the person who talks more... A person only listening and does not react to what he is listening that does not helps him get more friends.. ..
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
30 Jun 10
Nice to note you are having lots of friends sumanadep. In general those who listen can get more friends and this is my opinion, thanks
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
saphy, she is always freaking different in her thoughts and we know that. If she found sense in this I would have worried vannie is not okay.
Vannie, you are normal and keep up the good responses.
Vannie, you are normal and keep up the good responses. @edwardjoy2000 (2387)
• United Arab Emirates
29 Jun 10
Its not always true. people do like poeple who talk a lot and its fun to listen to such people. There are also people who like people talk less. What i would say is talk less but always talk sense. Whats the point when you talk a lot and it does not make any sense.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
30 Jun 10
You make a good sense here
of course if some one talks interestingly with useful information who will not listen to him/her? They will automatically listen to him/her.
But most people are not good at talking interestingly.
of course if some one talks interestingly with useful information who will not listen to him/her? They will automatically listen to him/her.
But most people are not good at talking interestingly. @rosebinas (180)
• Philippines
30 Jun 10
Yes. I agree. God gave us 2 ears and just one mouth so that we could listen more and talk less. Listening , I believe- is the kindest gesture that we could do for someone who needs it so badly. And as to talking... It is true that people have two weaknesses... "To talk when it is proper to be silent, and to be silent when it is proper to speak". Less talk less mistakes.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
30 Jun 10
very true rosebinas, listening is undoubtedly the kindest gesture that one should possess. Listening is very important for every one.
@markmarslu (19)
• China
30 Jun 10
Maye ,you konw ,people always say ,silence is gold ,that is true.There is ancinet chinese proverb ,out of mouth comes trouble.listening ,not only by ear nut also by heart ,because ,you need understand what is the means under the sentence or Words.you said thing won`t back your mouth forever,so you need be carefully ,sometimes ,you hurt some people feeling but no ware that,even you unintentional.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
30 Jun 10
yes, I have heard about that Chinese proverb markmarslu. Less talk means less troubles. Of course listening is a very important quality every one should possess, thanks.
@Buchi_bulla (8298)
• India
29 Jun 10
One way it is correct. In the present day mechanical world, there are less people who can lend their ears to others. Everyone will have many depressions, worries, happiness and thoughts that they want to share with others. When they find a good ear to listen to them, they will feel happy to share their matters with that person. At the same time, when we have to open our mouth, at that time you cannot keep quiet. For example, when I say I have severe stomach pain, you cannot think what for me and keep quiet. Can you? You must say few consoling words to the pain sufferer.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
hi, buchi, if you say you have a stomach pain I would definitely utter some consoling words. It costs me nothing. It can give you some mental relief. I will also be happy to make some one happy.
@apples99 (6556)
• United States
29 Jun 10
Sometimes I listen to people a bit too much, I mean sometimes I listen so much that people forget that I'm not a physiatrist and I'm a person with feelings wants and needs and I could use a good listener too.
So to answer your question yes I think I'm a pretty good listener.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
oh that's so nice to hear apples. I am sure you are loved by your friends and relatives. You must be having more friends too.
@amyson (3498)
• Philippines
29 Jun 10
it should be both if i ever to choose its very important to listen to what your speaker saying i think that's how you acknowledge his presence and your interested in what shes saying.its difficult to talk when nobody is listening and that will turn against in you your just talking own your own we feel that bad that no ones is listening and eveyone's talking we feel frustrated especially if we are talking important matters.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
yes, amyson, you are right. When you talk some important matter and the person is not listening means it will be truly irritating.
@megsshere (85)
• United States
29 Jun 10
Definitely. Everyone needs to share their thoughts and feelings with others. If you become someone who listens to your friend, they'll surely feel closer to you. Try it. It works. People fall in love with you for this quality..
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
yes, megsshere, I am following this quality already.
I have many friends too.
@skysaner (36)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
Hi,
I quite agree with that statement but it has limit. For example, we can listen when our friend telling us about his/her problems but we need to avoid when that people telling something that will not true and try to break up friendship and so on.
Thank you.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
29 Jun 10
hi, skysancer, in general listening is a good habit and that's what I want to say here, thanks.
