It is impossible that we are alive.

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So, me being a atheist i do not believe in religion or god or any of that sort, and even if i did, it doesnt make sense. Ok, we can keep saying god started the world or whatever, but how did he come to be? and before that and before that and all the way back before there was nothing. What happened? what made a human being be able to think, live, love. and then die, after what? 80 years(death of old age). who made us live that long and who says we cant live forever? what im trying to say is in my mind it is impossible that we are alive, because there had to be a time where there was nothing, no air. no being. no life. and then... what? god came and just waved his hand and made life. Who made him??? im sorry, im not very educated with religion and i dont plan on be. but thats what the world petrays it to be. And if there was a god he wouldnt of planned on us speaking language and becoming educated and worshiping him, because before him there was no language it just appeared before mans knowledge. I know i probablly sound pretty stupid saying this but i just think about it all the time and want some closure. And i dont want somone preaching to me, im not going to change my thoughts.