Stuck in the middle again

Not in this way but quite often I wish I could have stuffed something in my father's mouth when we went out together. I have other embarassing moments. Like we go out to some friends house - they offer something I really dont feel like taking anything. Still he tells me take and then tells them she eats at home! Pathetic - I eat snacks at home when I am hungry. Not just at any odd hours! And there are some situations where I am forced to control my feelings, and he enjoys my predicament. I stopped socializing in real life. :)

Dawny, i am deaf in the one ear and spite full in the other. I won't sit in the middle for anyone, not even family. TATA.

I don't like being put in the middle of things. But I do spend plenty of time in there. Like w/ my MIL her health has not been the greatest for a few years now. I'm usually pretty frank w/ her on things including taking care of herself & her husband. Whereas I don't think any of her kids will. I figure she can't disown me, unless she'd want to disown her son & her only Grandkids in the area. And My Hubby will agree w/ me cause he won't say anything even though I usually discuss things with him before or after I mention them to her.

Stay out of this, just nod your head and smile, you have enough on your plate already and don't need anymore stress. Nothing you can do will help anyone.

Blind eye and deaf ears. Thats how I deal with it but it's unavoidable I just say "It's hard to raise adults" and I walk out. If things gets worst I wrote them a letter about their concerns and how I see things and how it affects us all

In such situation, you can take the 'middle path' suggested by Lord Buddha. Remember the old proverb "One who tries to please everybody cannot please anybody" ?

Hi Dawn Yes my Family used to try it but then I cut myself of as it was to much My Mum has one Sister and 3 Brothers and none of them has a good word to say about anyone, in the end I could not take it any more so I have not seen them now in over 25 years, of course my Mum I have

Believe or not I see both sides! But with that said I would tell Hubby to not talk to me about this and if he continues i would just stand up and leave the room.

Him and you... his brother and your cousin... hmm....

EVERYBODY puts me in the middle,and i hate it. just this month alone i've been dragged into 2 fights,on the edge of being dragged into another,and a 4th friend re-dredging up crap she needs to leave alone after 5 years. i hate getting in the middle of that stuff,because often they either demand you to "pick sides" with or else implied,or the forget the original fight and jump on you. i'm getting to old for that crap.

I try not to get in the middle......and beg for pardon when they try to drag me in on something...but it's a very rare occasion when that happens.

I'm rarely in the middle of anything.. but don't have much of my own family. I used to put hubby in the middle of me and his parents... I'm strong and stubborn and so is his father. Hubby didn't like it, he's non-confrontational, and sadly I usually felt he was letting me down. Apparently listening to me rant and rave about them is easier for him than confronting his father. Though now I realize it wouldn't have done any good anyways.. as I said, his father is stubborn too. Mostly I just wanted to release my anger on them but wouldn't do it myself.. wanted hubby to do it.

The old ‘meat in the sandwich’ ha? It is not a comfortable place to be in and you can never quite win from that position because you are bound to peeve someone off no matter how hard you try not to! My mother and my sister used to be at each other’s throats on a regular basis and here was I piggy in the middle! My mum would get angry if I so much as spoke to my sister and sis accused me of blabbing everything to our mother! It used to drive me to tears! It’s a good idea not to get too involved because it’s hell attempting to stay neutral in certain situations.

i laid down the law.. everyone knows that i refuse to get involved in their skirmishes and they shouldn't even look to me for an opinion hoping that i would side with them. i'll help out with emergencies, mishaps, family events, fun stuff..but i won't even touch those arguments with a ten foot pole

I don't have a close enough relationship with them to be put in the middle of anything.All the families within the family tend to keep things private.

not family members, but other people

dawnald, I actually have a rule of the thumb on such matters so that no one in my family including myself will ever be in the middle of things and that is be perfectly CLEAR of our positions as OUTSIDERS of the situation. A lot of my peers and friends around are always getting themselves in the thick of things which to me is really unwise and unnecessary. There is no sides to take at all in the first place because we do not live under or in the skins of the afflicted and most of the time these things have more than it meets the eye. So, blood relations or brotherhood or sisterhood aside - they just have to sort out their mess alone and I can only play a supportive and hearing role period. There's no need to get our hands in the dough if you catch my drift. Likewise, I feel that your husband should be levelheaded and objective about his brother's matter. No one is perfect and that makes no true wrongs in a relationship because there will never be a fire if there were no sparks to begin with!

Hi, dawnald. My in-laws are people that are like this. Last year, my brother-in-law was trying to get me to talk to his father about fixing up the bathroom in his trailer. My brother and mother-in-law wanted me to lie and say that the Landlord came by and said that my father-in-law could fix the bathroom. But actually, the landlord came by but he did not look at the shape that the bathroom was in. Ideally, my in-laws wanted me to lie and say that the Landlord gave my father-in-law permission to fix up his own bathroom. (My father-in-law is a Carpenter). I told my in-laws that I was not going to tell my father-in-law this. Because if my name got brought up, then I would be in hot water! And like I told my in-laws, if my father-in-law happened to go see his landlord and he happened to mention to him about fixing up the bathroom, the landlord will tell him that he never gave him permission to fix it up. So after that my father-in-law will find out that we all told him a false lie. And I don't want my name to be caught in the middle of this bogus lie! So, in this situation, I thought very fast of the consequences and I found a way out of this! There was going to be no way, that I would help tell a lie with my mother and brother-in-law.

No, being piggie in the middle is something I hate. Now that I am have become brave, I murmur something about being confident that both parties can work out the problem. it is not agood place to be as you can get hurt when the missiles start firing

Thankfully I've never been put in the middle of any situation with my family. It seems that it is my mother that always ends up in this position from as far back as when I was a pre-teen and there were problems within the family involving her older brother. Me, if someone in my family tried to put me in the middle of things, I think that I would explain that I didn't feel right being in that situation and I would politely remove myself from it.