Back off mum!

Based on my observations the education system in Australia is systematic and very much family orientated type of education. I noticed that parents volunteer to teach students in their classes before the bell rings in the morning. They encouraged students to go for scientific expos as young as 6 years old. And I have the benefit to attend such expo with my nephew while am here. Such a great early educational exposure for the kids not adopted in my place. By helping kids in their school works, parents are directly involved in their children's educational progress which I think is very encouraging. I have all along put great emphasis on my children's education by personally monitoring their homeworks everyday. I am indeed proud of the final result as both my boys are successful in their chosen careers.

How sweet! I liked your daughter saying 'Mom; let me do it'. However, being the mothers we are I think this is the best compromise we would agree for.I would have done th e same if I were you.I particularly do not remember assisting my son in any project ; however, there was a project in 8/9th standard or so and it had something to do with physics and I naturally did not have anything to do with it. WHen he was young there were not any in his school.I just sat with him for his preparations for exam.

lol..I understand exactly what you are saying. Though I wanted to give the minimum possible assistance, I tended to go overboard sometimes...especially with content and creativity. Now that we are homeschooling...there's no pressure at all....lol...he does his own project and we only give suggestions AFTER he has done the whole thing.

hi paula I know that one only too well and my son is now 51. but the more you do for them although it may get a great grade its not helping them in the end to do it for themselves. I did about like you til I realize he had to learn to do this for himself so I eased off and maybe gave 5 percent and let him do the rest. sure his grades slipped a bit but as his self confidence grew he got excellent grades on his own.He hated doing book reports down in grade school but in the higher grades he was an A student.

My mum or parents for that matter barely helped with assignments and projects.. I mostly did them on my own and a few help from my classmates.. Then I got a tutor during fifth grade due to grades dropping and she ended up doing projects while I assisted and I did most of the assignments but this time quite easier since my tutor helped.. :D

paula, I am glad your daughter is brave enough to tell you that she has to do her homework by herself. I also wanted to help my daughters do their school work when they were in the preparatory years. The elder of the two, however, asked me if I could simply allow her to finish her projects and homework. If she needs my help, she would tell me. I stopped nosing when they are doing their homework after school. I would rely on the stories they narrate whenever we are eating or resting. It turned out that my daughters even excelled in school because they know their schoolwork by heart. Now that they are in college, they can be proud to say they earned all their merits all by themselves. Me, I made sure they had food and milk and soup!

Personally too many times a parent is wanting to step in and help, and too often a lot of kids will just let them and then it is obvious with the results that it was not the childs work as well. For your daughter to ask you to back off is a good thing and helped her to learn how to research it on her own. Actually that would be an interesting person to do some research on and I am sure you and her both learned a lot as well. Hope she got a Good grade from this.

Lol Paula that is just it when we get carried away My Children did most of their own with Friends, they used to sit together and do it between them, well my Son was actually bad for doing Homework (which I did not know at the time)lol So it was very rare I had to get involved as such but well done on you and your Daughter

It depends on the child. Cary needs a lot more direction than the other two. But mostly it depends on how much help they want (but I won't do it for them) and how much help they need.

Heya Paula. I have no kids of my own ( i still consider myself a kid anyway ) but i believe that you should get involved if she needs it, but when she tells you to stop, it is quite obvious you are getting to involved :D The final touches are always a good way of contributing, and in general it is good to explain why you want to change a certain thing, and why you believe it would be better.

lol paula! This is funny, and so true! You are a great mum, just a little over eager. Its a little hard, when you have this drive to help your kids and ensure they do well in life. It is such a balancing act to know when to step in and when, as your daughter put it, to back off

Hi Paula, I laughed out loud as I read your discussion. It is something that I can certainly speak clearly on. I work everyday with elementary students, and their parents. You are so right about the overload of homework given nowaday. Even during the summer break, they get projects that needs to be turned in to their next years teachers. I think it is too much. The projects are not just simple anymore, they are extravagant undertakings. You are fortunate to have such and independent daughter, who wanted to do her own project, her own way. Some projects that I have seen coming in from students had the parents' involvement written all over them, if you will. Instead of letting the child be as creative as he/she can be, the parent wants to do it for the child because they are looking for perfection. This kind of action from the parent(s) stifles the child ability to think creatively and to be independent in other areas of his life. I say, let them do their projects their way and if they want your help, give it to them. Otherwise, standby and be proud of however it turns out. They did their best.

Hi paula27661 Ha ha ha I have done my share with my daughter's assignment. I think I helped her till she was in grade four and after that she was on her own. Although now she is in her 2nd year in high school she still sometimes ask for my help and opinion, otherwise she is on her own.

hello.. i am still single and without a child, but if such situation happens to me, i would only make myself available at the start and finish.. start - i shall make sure that my child is able to interpret the teacher's instructions carefully. end - check the child's work and offer opinions where needed but the child's decision should be final. in that way, the child is able to develop his natural ability by his self. of course, if my child will ask me questions, i would be more than willing to answer but otherwise, it would mean that my child thought that he is capable to enough to accomplish his assignment. to be able to have that manner of thinking is very crucial for me in my child's growth. wonder when will that be anyway :)

Hey, that's a good kid! My parents never helped me with my school projects, and if they had, I probably would not have been as studious as your daughter! I'd probably have relished them taking over for me. Her project sounds fun.

actually it should be 0% paula...but it happens that teachers give the work which is not in the limits of a child to do....so till your child is under 10, you have to help and as they grow up the percentage goes on lowering....in the KG's ...my kids were given only poem to write on a chart, but that too i found so messy that i used to draw rough lines for them...then assist them in writing....i used to tell them to write with pencils and when it was alright i used to tell them to make it final with sketch pens...but you can't do anything...after all you have to teach them slowly to be perfect....

Good morning Paula, good for your daughter wanting to do it herself.That's what she needed to do. Children need to do that & mom's do need to back off altho i know u meant well. I admire her for being that way. U have done a good job w/her .My kids are grown but my grandson will start to school this year & i hope he shares some of his projects w/me.

Paula, time to back off. Just be thankful that she feels confident enough to do her own thing. And leave it alone unless your help is requested then only to what is needed. You want her to be a success, that means she needs to learn how to do that, there will be up and downs but that is how we learn. Be very proud that she wants to do it herself and don't step on her toes. Even if her grade is not always the best, we usually learn much more from out mistakes. Blessings Mother. From a Grandma.

In my days with my children at school there was a library and no computers so it would take a great deal of time. Yes, I did help, but basically they did it on their own. Being a teacher I had to resist the tendency of taking over but would help them to select the information but they did it on their own. I have a son with learning disabilities and he had to be encouraged so very much as he had a tendency (still does) to easily give up.Now a days e is very proud of the ability of his son who is just five and is reading very well.

I guess I would also do the same when I am a parent and face the above scenario. You need not back off completely. You can still supervise to check she does not make mistakes. Also let her come up with ideas.