Falling Apart
By aurorastorm
@aurorastorm (1131)
United States
July 1, 2010 7:45am CST
What if you are so deep in debt but no one knows? I feel like I am living a lie, I work a full time job, so does my hubby, but it is not enough to keep up with the bills. It is a really secretive and embarrassing thing to go through. I am trying to find other ways to make more money, but they are very slow and we need it faster. I feel like I am teetering on the edge with no support at all.
2 people like this
13 responses
@ksmusselman (29)
• United States
13 Jul 10
I am right in the middle of this myself and you are so correct. It is embarrassing and you just want to keep it a secret, which is very hard to do. I've only told two people who are very close to me and my husband informed his son also.
We're on social security disability and they didn't increase the cost of living this year enough to offset the increase in our contribution for medical, so now we're getting less than we did two years ago. We both work home-based businesses part time but the economy really put a hurting on us. It's really devastating and nerve-wracking to think how hard you worked to get somewhere only to have it taken away little by little.
I go on craigslist every day at least twice looking for typing and transcription gigs and just about anything else (LEGAL LOL) I can do to get some cash in. Plus this weekend we're having a yard sale and we're both looking for more things we can actually make ourselves at zero cost with stuff we have around the house that we can turn around and sell.
If you have the time on weekends, I would suggest having yard sales; you never know what people will buy. And go on craigslist.com, hit every major city in the US list then go to Gigs and look every day. It may just be something simple like "type my resume for $15" or "create a spreadsheet from my business cards;" eventually it will all add up.
Another thing you could try to do is set up a free blog then ask for Donations using PayPal. Some people may actually drop a few bucks in a PayPal donation "bucket" for you. I just added a Donation bucket to my websites' directories too and hopefully some people will start adding some money into it. LOL
The important thing is that you're trying to do something about it! You're still working and in today's economy, that's fantastic. Now do what you can for some part time revenue streams and eventually it'll all work out. At least that's what my husband and I keep telling each other. :-)
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@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
2 Jul 10
You are still lucky since both you and your husband still have your jobs and income. What you can consider is are your income enough to apply for credit? BUT AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT you have to be a very clever calculative person before you do this. The reason is simple, credit card has a time span where you can use the money without paying the interest but if you do not return the money by then, then you're going deeper into your debts.
Okay, you have the extra $$ for a little time, what's next? Skim a lot on your expenses and pay what's most impportant that's going to incur taxes or snowball. Remember to return the amount used (you have your job and income still coming in to do it)before the grace period's up. Use it again the next month and return again before grace period's up. DO NOT USE MORE WHEN YOU HAVE CREDIT OR ELSE YOU ARE DIGGING YOUR OWN GRAVE. REMEMBER TO TIGHTEN YOUR EXPENSES SO THAT YOU CAN BE RID OF DEBTS AFTER SOME MONTHS. NEVER DO THIS IF YOU CANNOT CALCULATE.
@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
5 Jul 10
Make sure you know when the grace period will be(ask clearly so you can calculate). Next, know when you can use the credit so that the grace period is up after you get your salary, in this way, you pay the credit first with your salary before you take the credit again and so don't incur interest. Before you take the credit again, calculate as before and know when you can use the credit again. Remember, the credit is not for wants, but for bills that will incur high taxes or snowball. Don't get into more debts.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
13 Jul 10
ongtina-
I think using too much credit is what got me in this mess in the first place. I am working on bringing more income in and budgeting. I was really bad about using coupons for awhile and now I am using them again everytime I go to the store.
I work up this morning, and really felt blessed instead of dread about working at my job. You are right I am fortunate in this economy to still have a job and I need to appreciate that a little more. It is rough right now, but a lot of people have it even worse than I do.
@randylovesdar (4932)
• United States
15 Jul 10
I know how you feel because my husband and I are in the same boat. My husband works parttime and I cannot find work at all. I am a college grad with a degree in Elementary Edication, but with the bad economy there are no teaching positions available. I only have the necessary bills and we are struggling with those as well. It is embarassing and it also makes it harder when certain family members think they know your whole situation and try to tell you what to do. My husband's cousin is trying to tell us to pay all of our other bills and ignore our mortgage because if we end up losing the house we can get another one. I feel that this is bad advice because it is not a sellers market right now and besides that is the only bill we manage to keep up to date without missing any payments. I have been looking for ways to make money and I am seriously thinking about going back to school to get a Masters in Educational Psychology. At least that will bring in some money. I am also looking into selling some items online as well as some of my crafts.
I know we do not live near each other, but please know that you are not alone and you have my support. If I can think of ways for you to make money I will definately let you know. Take care.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
16 Jul 10
Thank you so much for your understanding. Funny you should that about the mortgage, I have heard the exact opposite advice, pay the mortgage, and let credit cards go unpaid if you have to, that is what I have heard. Some people don't care about letting their house go, but I want to keep my house, I love it and love my neighbors, so I try to keep up with that the most.
I sell at little bit online but now much..What craft items do you make?
I have a small chocolate business but it is just business from friends, I think it could be more but don't know how to attract more people to wanting to order.
If I come up with any new ideas I will let you know as well.
@Sherbeauty29 (183)
• Jamaica
2 Jul 10
Hi dear i know the feeling and worst i'm not working and the bills they keep climbing. Life is so unfair at times but i pray that things will work out soon and very soon.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
6 Jul 10
I pray that things turn around for you soon.
It is really scary right now, these times that we are in.
@boboypete (209)
• Manila, Philippines
3 Jul 10
I got a lot of colleagues having this problem. They putted into their minds that there were ways to find money always, it was during the recent recession that they were trapped in a lot of debts. I was not able to give help to them but to give some advices and to comfort them at all. I told them to sincerely seek assistance from their families and be transparent. I challenged them to tell the truth because their families could help them solving financial difficulties. I think you have to be also challenged to divert some of your attention to other things like internet money making, slowly but for sure you could make it to finding solutions to your problems, or other small business you could possibly make just to earn money. Plus, the basic needs of ourselves... the prayers. We need to get time always talking with God to reach out and confide Him our situation, we ask His help and guidance to be brave and face the day to day trials and consequences. Otherwise, you should move to cope up these things and get rid out of that deep debt.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
13 Jul 10
I am starting to use the internet to try and make more money, yes it is a slow go, but so are a lot of things. I think coming on here and voicing my fears has really started to lift some weight off my shoulders. I came clean with a good friend of mine recently, her husband is very good at budgeting and has provided me with some tools to help budget better. Just last night, this same friend recommended me to some other neighbors to watch their dogs for the weekend, not a ton of money, but every penny counts right now.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
13 Jul 10
Thanks mcabiles, I will not quit yet, just want to runaway sometimes from everything except my dog, lol. I am trying some sites to make some more income but it is very slow, so I am going to try to find another part time job. I just have to find the time.
@randylovesdar (4932)
• United States
1 Jul 10
I know how you feel, my husband and I are in debt as well. My husband is working parttime and each week his boss has been finding ways to cheat my husband out of pay. This has happened the last three paychecks, but the sad thing is, is that because this is only happening to him we are afraid to report it in fear that his boss will find out then he would get fired. On the plus side, my husband is attending college online and I have been looking into going to graduate school online, so maybe this will help our financial situation. I have also been looking for some work from home job to make a little extra money.
I want to wish you the best of luck and please know that you are not alone.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
2 Jul 10
I think just posting this and hearing thoughts from other people has made me feel a lot better, just sick of feeling like a failure. I wish you the best of luck as well.
@workingmom50 (3091)
• United States
1 Jul 10
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. A lot of people I know are in the same boat. Where I live the unemployment rate is 14% so it seems like more and more couples and singles are finding themselves in this position. I have been earning online for many years so I could stay at home with my children. I wish I had a program that would make this all go away, but I don't. It takes time to earn well online. I would be happy to answer your questions though. Good luck
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
1 Jul 10
I know there are many worse off people than I am, but I feel so shameful living like this.
@rosie230 (1703)
•
1 Jul 10
I know exactly how you feel. I am a stay at home Mum, and my partner just lost his job temporarily, due to the company car catching on fire and literally burning out. We have had to sign on to the dole temporarily, as embarrassing as it is. But hopefully he will be back to work in the next couple of weeks.
I really wish that there was a way on the internet which you could make money quick... but obviously if it was that easy then everyone would be staying at home and doing it.
I wish that I could go out and work full time, but the cost of child care is so high that it would just not be worth my while.
So at the moment, until our dole money comes through, which wont be for another couple of weeks, we have no money, and direct debits going out of our bank that we have no money to pay with. So all in all pretty bad times, since the bank will charge us for each failed direct debit, even though we have spoken to them and explained the situation. It is just a nightmare, and because of the cost of living these days, we have no savings, to help us out. So basically we are living out of the freezer so to speak.
I feel your pain and frustration.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
1 Jul 10
That is the thing to, I so feel for you and if I ever was in a better position would try to help as many people as possible.
@seanah41 (67)
•
1 Jul 10
I was in shoes 7 years ago.. there are lots of steps to take to get you out of your situation that it would take a whole book to discuss.. please grab a copy of this book.. "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki.. it has turned or world around 180 degrees.. I hope it will help you too.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
1 Jul 10
Going to look into it, willing to try anything at this point, thanks.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
2 Jul 10
Trimask-
Been doing that but still not good enough right now.....but you are right never hurts to look again.
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
Why don't seek help to your closed friends, what makes you feel embarrassed about it. Since the economy fall most people have been in great debt unable to pay their mortgage and other loans some face the worst that they have even sold all their appliances and properties. What do you fear about if some one's know it?
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
2 Jul 10
I think the fear is the judgement, and the fact that my closest friends except for one do not have these problems whatsoever.
@Memnon (2170)
•
16 Jul 10
Many of us find ourselves wedged into this corner at some point in our lives, and not always through our own fault.You are certainly not alone. Just by sharing this, you should feel a little better.