I am not happy after finding cigarette ends and a lighter in my sons room

With any luck, when he sees what you are going through, and how hard it is to quit he won't start. It does seem if the parents smoke, their children do also. The parents can't really say anything to them because they smoke. The same with drinking or any other vice.

Did you tell him it was illegal for him to drink under age? Curious dude isn't he? It would behuve him to clean his room! Please that he didn't like it yes, but I think I would be upset at him sneaking them and not act completely cool with the outcome. But then, that is just me!

Unfortunately, if one or both parents smoke and/or drink the chances of the children picking up the habit are very high. They might get the message from school and society that smoking is NOT ok but their Mum and Dad do it and that makes it OK.

I'm glad that your son has decided that he doesn't like smoking but it's bad that he hid it from you....even us smokers I know don't really want our kids to smoke but I would prefer that my daughr=ter (when she's old enough) didn't hide it from me.

i wouldn't have been happy either,but most kids try smoking and drinking at some point in their chidhood don't they,thankfully he does'nt like it as there are soo many kids out there that do take a liking to it and in some cases it wrecks their lives

That must be devastating for you. I had been caught by my pops too and he told me that I'm stupid. I'm still trying to stop but still can't. I hope I can stop in the future because it is not really good for the health.

BE glad he dont like to smoke but then ya ight haveot check in room while he is there to make sure he isnt doing it and also get him a drinking the lager. IF you dont want him to do this you have to keep up on it IT is your house by the way and you have your rules!

lol =D Well, when parents are smoker, the likelyhood of their child following in their shoes is much higher as well.. haha =D BEcause they will wonder what makes it so fun, to the extend of one needs to smoke at least once every few hours?? haha =D BUt at least, he says he does not quite like it, and given up, which is definitely a good thing Seems like, he's doing alot of things behind your back huh?? It's time for some communication.. hehe

Just take it easy,maybe he is still not a smoking addict right now.But if this happened unluckily,you couldn't change the fact and that isn't means the doomsday is coming.Although smoking is not so good,I don't consider smoking casually as a quite awful thing. The young are always curious about new things they have never done before and sometimes it is very dangerous.Maybe you can show him some frightening pictures of a sick lung after long-term smoking or communicate with him from time to time just from his own angle.

how old is he? i think he is wise enough to know what is good or bad to him. i can see by his answer that he did not like smoking. confronted with him just can make he does not feel comfort with u to talk about all his problems. boys does not like nagging mother

I don't blame you for feeling that way. However, I would continue to have talks with your son on the subject from time to time. You would think that the sigerette ends would have been cleaned up if it was from months ago. Regardless of what he says continue to talk to him, support him. What he says may be true, but until he's out on his own you have a right to worry about thease things.

I am so sorry to hear that. Kids these days are really very curious that they sometimes think in a very irrational way. I think he just need more guidance and not giving up on him. My husband was like that when he was a teenager and his father always wept because of that but he never gave up on him and now be is the total opposite of what he was before and I proud to say that it was because of his parents.

its very hard to quit smoking... make sure that your son really want to quit...try to cut it down first, do not do it drastically because he will start smoke one day... and support him. do not scold him. do it nicely even though you were disappointed. all the best

I used to experiment when I was younger and have been kicking myself for years now. The thing you need to do is set the boundaries and enforce them. Remind yourself that the kids are going to test you and cross those boundaries (break your rules) but if you keep on plugging those rules and boundaries, eventually their frontal lobes will develop and they'll wake up and say, "Wow! Mom really knew what she was talking about!" Sometimes we have to be strict but if we also keep the lines of communication and love open maybe they'll listen more than we realize. I know I put my mom through H-E-double toothpick when I was growing up and I would give anything to go back and change it all. But I take comfort in the knowledge that the person I became as an adult made my mom happy. Now it's my turn. I have come to realize that the mother's curse is real. My mom always wished kids on me that were just like me and lo and behold I have a daughter who is just like me! (dread dread horror dread!) The fact that your son didn't try to deny it is a plus so you are doing something right. Remember, as parents of teens our main job is to see that they survive their teenage-hood. If we succeed in actually teaching them some character, we are so much ahead of the game. It sounds to me like you're doing a good job as a mom so take comfort in that.

I am so glad he did not like it when he tried it. He seems to be at an age to try anything. I did not like smoking when I tried it when I was much younger. Good he told you the truth.

i'm happy cause your son has learned what smoking might bring him. i think you can check him once in a while to see if he really stops smoking.