Before marriage many people dream about love and life

Perhaps they go wrong expecting their partner to fill whatever void is in their life. That, along with an unrealistic view of love will leave them disappointed. One should be content to be on one’s own and feel complete before starting a relationship which would eliminate the need to have a person make everything better and fill the hole in the heart. The other thing is to be aware that the ecstatic feelings at the beginning of a relationship are not the true feelings of love which will sustain it.

hi vijayanths we tend to blow the image of marriage all out of proportion, happily ever after with nobody ever getting upset over anything, the children prefect little angels, the wife killing herself all the time for prefect meals, the husband always in spanking nice clothes, always very attentive to his wife, this is all just too much. Real people get married,not angels,they often burp or belch or yes fart. they are real live human beings. not perfect at all. The real person may sometimes spill something, hang the towels up wrong or throw clothes on the floor. Real wives do not behave like the Stepford wives in that old movie. Real kids get into mischief, get sick, have to have an appendectomy. People go wrong in expecting perfection from each other. Tis not going to happen. We are human beings who want to be better than we are but sometimes err and we need to have some real compassion for each other, not dislike,not divorce either. We need to remember we are not perfect so of course our mate is not going to be perfect. Unconditional love is just accepting each other as ordinary human beings. imperfect but loveable.Heres to looking at reality, learning to love it and start being happy again. cheers.

Obviously they go wrong because without knowing anything about the 'to-be' partner they are weaving dreams.THe reality would be different and would always fall short of expectations. Whenever there is expectation there is likely to be disappointment. Even the slightest expectation[one may think of some quality to be elementary but the partner may not have that quality.]They are products of totally different upbringing. Any dream based on someone else for fulfilment can only be a dream. On the other hand, you just go with a blank mind , then you are always pleasantly surprised at any pleasant outcome. Another thing is to dream beyond one's own capacity. Keep expectations minimal; love would be there. Life would be good.THis is my conviction.

where they go wrong is thinking that marriage will bring them those things, instead of finding the person who brings those things into their life and marrying them. if someone doesn't make you happy, love you, make your life complete, then don't marry them. if you find them, and want to be married, marry them. but don't expect marriage to turn someone who isn't all of those things into that person. because it won't. when you already have a marriage, THEN have the wedding.

1. Movies and novels describe love and life in a way that we set our imagination free to define it. 2. We are naive, we dont really know or accept the bad in our parents marriage. Because of these two factors we believe in love and life before marriage, and after marriage, we realize the truth!

That i would not know, sweetie. You aren't suppose to change after you get married. You are still the same two people. What is it that make people change after marriage? Maybe they just get to used to each other or the fun of being in love went missing. A shame, actually. TATA.

I'm sorry . I Never thought love would come out of marriage. I never will marry, I rather love my guy than marry him.Marriage for me has Nothing to do with love. It is all about family obligation.Love can happen but it is necessary. As i teen I dreamed of love but not marriage. By age 13 I Knew I would never marry. I just see love and marriage as separate things. I have friends who are happy and married, It just seems strange to me.

Marriage is a joy killer! The moment they signed on the dotted lines of their union, unveil the true colors of individuals. Nothing is wrong but both parties have taken each other for granted soon as the honeymoon is over. The reality of living as husband and wife might not be what they have dreamed off. Love is blind and they only regained their eyesights when they get married.

Indeed Marriage is not something as we think before, its difficult sometimes to cope with all the aspect's specially after a child. But if we have dedication to our responsibilities specially as a parent then makes us manage things in balance otherwise if you make it imaginative or making high-hopes then it will be difficult to realize the truth. for me i do enjoy my married life while i had so many hard phases but still i am struggling to get control over all the troubles i get due to lack of experience but this is the real life.enjoy it!

Dreams are different from reality.Any thing can be dreamed of and for any amount of time.But when it comes to real life its a different ball game.Marriage in real life is based on what we learn from our parents basically. It is a kind of role play. Being in marriage consists of many activities.Not necessarily love be there.We do just as we had been been taught or learned from our basic teachers, parents and culture at large at a later stage.Being loving is not an essential part of many a marriage systems.There the problem comes.This is the reason these days we find many couples living together without formally getting married for the sole fear that it is not the same in marriage as it is before.

there is nothing wrong. before marriage love is still a mystery, but after marriage they had know what really love is. so there is no thrill anymore

Dreaming of having someone to share the love and life we have is the reason why we want to get married, thus, calling this a good reason to marry someone. After marriage, couples are disillusioned about the love they used to have. The tolls of keeping the family well provided, taking care of the kids, the irreconcilable differences are big factors that surely had affected the relationship especially the latter. In marriage, there's no guarantee. Though, it may be true that there used to be love when you married the person but without hard work to make things work between spouses, it is impossible for love to sustain the relationship. Each spouse, no matter how difficult times are, must keep the love alive and the flames in their hurt burning for each other. One great motivation, is to think of the future with the person you are with right now. The question that needs to be answer is " Must I continue or must I stop?" being with this person.

Well nromal human being falls in love befoe marriage .Some get there love and Some dont.But when One makes more expectation from other partner tham require things go wronng at that point and it all end s there.

You understand the facts when you live togather. When you stay away you have a lot to talk and share, but when you live togather you are short of topics. The guy expects a lot from the girl to take care of him, to cook his food etc. whcih she coule have rearly done at her place. The girl also expects the guy to spend mor time with him as they live togather, but the fact is that the guy has to work. managing time for each other becomes a formalty rather than a necessity.

Getting married without truly knowing your partner and getting married without being ready for that are the main reasons, I believe.

I think the ending of love is always tragic.The feeling of falling in love with someone is really good but as time goes by,everybody will feel boring... We can't just drown ourselves in romantic love stories. Good luck~

hey, i see marriege as a contract between two people to live together and support each other. i think marriege is much more rational state than emotional. of caurse there should be feelings between the people, it makes life easier to cope with. but still not everyone is lucky to find that perfect partner to love. that's why there is the diffrence between one's expectations and the true life. i think we can also blame the movies,books etc. in picturing some "false" reality. it is so easy so be influnced by imagionary life that the movies try to sell us.

i think that if you marry with the person you love then there is dreams still in life^^ you will make your dreams come true with that person^^ dreams dont end when you marry unless you marry with someone you dont love or unless you marry and after some time things are not like your dreamed it would be. anyway i think that if people always care and love each other it can be a happy marriage and with a lot of dreams to come true ^^

I think single is the best way of living..single life has much freedom than double..even i have a plan that i wont marry...hahaha if i can it would be great for me..by the way, love is also cool if you find the right person...otherwise its a pain...so select the right person for love or remain single forever...its the method of happiness...

yes, vijayanths, I think lack of understanding causes the change after marriage. Trust and faith are also equally important, great discussion, thanks.