Mother's of inmates
By pejsk1979
@pejsk1979 (2)
United States
July 2, 2010 2:41pm CST
How would you react if your child was sentenced to prison? Would you visit them in prison or stay in contact with them? More importantly, would you be forgiving?
My middle son was sent to prison for 3 years. I was his only support system while he was locked up. My husband wouldn't visit him or speak to him on the phone, this is something I had a hard time understanding. How could you say you love your child unconditionally, yet when they screw up you turn your back on them? So, for three years I took my son's son to visit him once a month. It was hard, but so very important that their relationship be maintained and that I know my son was okay.
When he was arrested, and sentenced, I questioned my own ability as a mother. I spent countless hours crying and "beating" myself up because of my sons mistakes. It was not until I told him how I felt that I found some peace with myself. He said, "nothing I did was your fault, I'm grown and I made my own decisions. You and dad taught us right from wrong, and I knew better. I just chose to different than how I was raised". Choosing the wrong friends and the wrong path cost him three years away from his son. He's home now and doing well; but it's been a struggle with finding a job. But he has a lot less "friends" than he did before, his time is focused on his son.
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7 responses
@bkrm_gupt (219)
• India
28 Jul 10
Being a mom of the child is easy task but keeping that child in the good manner is the most important.We do feel bad when our child in is in the prison.so in order to make our child in the right path we should show him the right path and avoid involving in the bad group of boys.so he may realized at the last and feel the love and care of the parents.
@beautifulpages (70)
• Philippines
6 Jul 10
You have raised a good person in your son. When he said that what happened to him was none of your fault. It was his decision as a man that brought him to prison. Indeed, this situation it is very hard for you and even for anybody who loves their children so much. Who would wants to watch their children suffer? None, especially us, mothers.
Past is past.I commend you for being strong for your son. Your love has bound you closer to him. Now that he wants to change for the better, no other person could tell him that what matters is that we realize our mistakes and make a promise not to do it again.
I am a mother too. And I think what you did was the right thing. To show your endless love for your son and to show him the way and support him to change for the better.
@marguicha (223825)
• Chile
5 Jul 10
You cant leave your son or daughter just because he or she did something wrong. Aren´t we all doing things we shouldn´t all the time? Talking about wrong doing, I think your husband´s atticude is not supportive and thus, very wrong. Excuse me for judging.
I hope all is better now. Take care!
@momof3kids (1894)
• Singapore
2 Jul 10
The oldest of my children is 13 and I just do not know what I would be if he is sentenced to prison. I know that I will reflect on how I am raising him too.
I have read that you should not give up on your children and you have proven that point. You have done right in not giving up on him. And what he has said that comforted you, melts my heart.
He seems very determined to be good, spending time with his son.
Maybe he can sell stuff on ebay.
Take care
•
2 Jul 10
Your Son is your Son.. No matter what you will always love him.. you may not forgive him.. but you are his mother.. you spent years bringing him up.. no one with a heart could just throw that away.. good for you for sticking by him.. and just because you have done this, does not mean you condone it.. i think more mothers should be like you.. because to many are quick to wash there hands with them.. and i think that just makes it worse
@greygoo (795)
• Philippines
3 Jul 10
i'm not a mother; i believe i'm too young for that. but if i were in trouble, i would want my parents to be there. because it is during those bad times that we need them most--that's when we need them to give us support, advice and, most of all, understanding. things that we can't expect from other people. besides, how else would i be able to apologize to them if they refused to meet me? i guess i'd like to thank you for sticking up to your son. that's how i would've wanted my parents to do.
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
2 Jul 10
This is really a very hard situation pejsk1979. But as a mother we ourselves should know that no matter how naughty or bad our child is, how our child tends to push our patience out off the line, we are still there loving them, protecting them and still seeing hope that they would become a better person.
My grandma use to tell this me when I gave birth to my son. "Now you will know how it feels to be a mother." at first it was just plain like "mother and child" thingy, but soon I realize it goes way way to deep. the bond between you and your child could never be felt by any one else, not even his father.
How would I react if my son was sentence to prison? heartbroken but still forgiving. You did great with your son. on times like that, when he needed understanding and support when everyone else gave up on him, you never gave up! it's our role as a mother. you did great!
