Why is this always the first thing that a person asks me when they see me?
By cream97
@cream97 (29086)
United States
July 3, 2010 8:45am CST
When people see me, they will first ask, "so how many kids do you have now"? Or they may ask me, "how are the kids doing"... I know that I am a mom and all, but aren't there other things that a person can ask me instead?
I only have three kids. Not 12!!!! People act like I have a hoard of children running around! Why can't they ask something else. Another question that is not related to children?? Do people only see me as a woman that is just known for making babies?? If they think that, they are surely in for a big surprise! There is more to me than just having babies. I am a person that has interesting ideas and I love expressing myself. I am more than just a mother. I am a person too. I know sometimes that people don't mean any harm, but it gets on my nerves when all they ask is this when they see me. Remember, this is the first question that they will ask me when they see me. Actually, they will speak to me first and then ask me how many kids do I have now, or something in this category.
I only have three kids. Not 12!!!! People act like I have a hoard of children running around! Why can't they ask something else. Another question that is not related to children?? Do people only see me as a woman that is just known for making babies?? If they think that, they are surely in for a big surprise! There is more to me than just having babies. I am a person that has interesting ideas and I love expressing myself. I am more than just a mother. I am a person too. I know sometimes that people don't mean any harm, but it gets on my nerves when all they ask is this when they see me. Remember, this is the first question that they will ask me when they see me. Actually, they will speak to me first and then ask me how many kids do I have now, or something in this category.2 people like this
10 responses
@rhea_41084 (88)
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
Well I think it's just a normal question that someone could ask to a person especially for mothers, just for starting a conversation. And later on you can open a topic which you want to talk about, like your accomplishments or something. But for me, I would love to talk about my son, and told everyone about his accomplishments.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Jul 10
It reminds me of when I was pregnant. My husband was dejected because nobody was paying any attention to him. And I remember telling him to wait until the baby was born, and then nobody would be paying attention to me either. It's just the way of things, I guess.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
4 Jul 10
Children seem to be a good conversation starter. It is a topic that most people are comfortable with. If someeone wants to talk to you, the best way to keep the discussion flowing is with something you care about. What is better than your children?
@m4meen (1)
• India
4 Jul 10
First thing should be asked ....how is the person? or any thing can be highlighted from the last meeting...as if any 1 hard that his/her family was on holiday..a few days ago..can ask about that..
the thing is first asked question or query should make the person perceived that to some extent the asky person is truly concerned ...
1 person likes this
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
3 Jul 10
Am sorry cream97 if people are getting rather too nosy about you motherhood, but at this time and age, it is beautiful and honorable for you to cut a motherly figure! It apportions responsibility and every body will seem to take you seriously. Not all women make good mothers-you know this. I am very happy that you have 3 kids, i beg you not to mind those questions, they could be innocent questions piled at you inadvertently. Greet those wonderful kids for me, please continue cutting the motherly figure nomatter what nosy question people throw at you. This was an interesting post i must say.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Jul 10
hi cream 97 I think I know what you are getting at. Like me when I went to junior college in my late thirties, most of the teachers always said, oh you're Garland wife or you're Robbies mom? okay sure I was both of those things, but I was also more than that,its sort of being labeled as just that and nothing more. How about oh Mrs. Hatley you're an English major.Not that I was not proud to be Garlands wife or Robbie's mother. But how about the me of me? Its hard to put into words but I feel diminished when I am just referred to as a mother or wife because like you I have a lot more talents. I was an excellent student with a 4 point grade average and also I am talented in writing. A lotof people just seem to have to label us that way.They take our personhood away when they do that.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
3 Jul 10
Well,maybe you looks sexier to be a mother of 3,that is why they are asking how many kids do you have.
I started to get bigger(chubby since last year,well,not big enough,i just gained some pounds)
People don't believe when i said,i got 3 kids "ohh?,really? you don't like a mother of 3" something like that.
Or,what?,you're 39?...ahhh,don't kid me.
Ok,i am saying that i am pretty,but yes,people don't believe about my age and me having 3 kids.
There are reasons why people asks such questions.
When i am with my friends,nobody can tell that,i am nearly on my forties with my friends who are young as 25 above.
Why they asks you how was your kids,maybe they never mean any harm,
Yah,just want to know what your kids were doing or something interests with.
That's a normal question to be asked by people who knows you as being a mother.
Don't take seriously my dear.
1 person likes this
@digidogo (444)
• Philippines
4 Jul 10
Yes people dont mean any harm. Its just a way of starting conversations i should say, talking about the life of others. Starting therem you and the person can talk about many things. Its also because moms like to talk about their children because im sure that is the most prized possesion of mothers. Much more, they speak to you first. Then you should try to speak to them first so the conversation might, and i mean might, start another direction.
1 person likes this
