Bad sister...
By alabella
@alabella (91)
Poland
July 3, 2010 11:10am CST
My daughter's godmother is my sister. My sisters lives in Germany, quite far away from us. We seldom see her but now I broke our relationship... Why? She did not turn up at my daughter's fist Communion and she really upset us. I am alone with my daughter and it really was sad for us that neither my daughter's father, nor godmother or godfather appeared on this special day for her... I stopped replying her emails and I do not want to listen to her excuses. She knew how important it was for us... What do you think - should I forgive her?
6 responses
@frostymug (3)
• Philippines
3 Jul 10
I think you should consider forgiving her but stop relying on her. She is family after all and it isn't good to carry grudges. But it also isn't good to keep getting disappointed all the time so maybe the compromise is to let her know that you and your daughter are doing fine but not involve her directly in your lives? Maybe then she'll realize how important it is to not only hear from you but also be there with you in those important moments...
@alabella (91)
• Poland
4 Jul 10
I try not to listen to her, she is just too selfish, too irresponsible and she does not understand that she is just like that. She hurt my child and she even denies it. I do not want to forgive her easily. Maybe in a few months or years when she visits me but not now, for sure.
@Soraya428 (26)
• Philippines
4 Jul 10
She maybe irresponsible and selfish but she is your sister. A family. No use holding a grudge against her because as you have said she does not understand that she is all the things you say she is. She is blind to her own faults thus do really know or care if she hurts anyone. Just forgive her and accept her as she is and stop relying on her so you (and your family)won't be hurt all over again.
@okuribidreams (195)
• Italy
3 Jul 10
I think you should definitely listen to her excuses, she's your sister, after all, and you never know what had happened to her and why she didn't show up, especially if she knew the day was really important.
Give her a chance, and then if her excuses don't satisfy you, you could think about it again.
Just try to give her a chance.
@okuribidreams (195)
• Italy
3 Jul 10
This is pretty bad indeed, she could at least have called her. Did she say she'll make up in a way or another in the future..?
I have two older siblings, a brother and a sister, and I'm trying to imagine how would I feel if one of them did something like this to me or my daughter. I would be very upset, and probably will end up thinking the same things you did. But, after some time, I would feel the urge to forgive them, because family is a bond you can't and shouldn't ruin for anything, because you'll need them again sooner or later.
@dupedestafada (6)
• United States
6 Jul 10
I totally understand how you feel as I have a sister who stole money from me and I am not interested in forgiving her. However, I feel that because of the distance it is impossible to know what your sister is going through in another country, far away from her family. If I were you I would confront her directly and would tell her how I feel and what her absence meant to you and your daughter. Tell her you want to understand her behavior and want to listen to her.
If your don't get a satisfactory explanation or her behavior doesn't change markedly, you need to be on your guard. As I said, I have a sister who is a lier and a thief and I only wish I would not have trusted her all these years as I did. I started a blog http://dupedyestafada.squarespace.com to tell my story and alert others to the signs I missed so that they don't repeat the same mistakes I made in dealing with her.
Good luck and best wishes!
@blarehead (38)
• Philippines
4 Jul 10
If that happened to me, I will still forgive her because she is always a part of the family. but the trust i gave to her will be a lot more different than before. i wouldnt take chances of letting it happen again, but still just gave her a chance.
@krnavtr (285)
• India
2 Aug 10
Try to forgive your sister as she is staying far from you.Try to understand her problem.If she is near she might have come to see you all. Off course every body will feel bad when somebody never returns home even to see her baby,but what to do,thats her work place.
@captain534 (177)
• India
24 Jul 10
Of course you can forgive your sister because she is far from you all that why she have limited time to contract you and also she don't have time to visit the internet cafe.Please forgive her........she might back to you all.
