Parenting: Visitation with noncustodial parent.
@karebear48462 (45)
United States
July 3, 2010 1:49pm CST
History: My ex-husband and I got divorced on February 22, 2010. He has been out of the home since May 2009 & supervised visitation on June 24th with our two daughters. They are 3 and 4 years old.
Since visitation started I have noticed a lot of behaviors starting as well. They have started bullying each other (pushing, biting, yelling) but I've kept consistent with a warning the first time and time out for the second. Punishment has been hard because they will now mouth back and say that they don't have to or I'm going to try anyways.
Bath-time has been a struggle because they are always afraid that it's going to be hot water. I let them feel the water before letting them get it, but it always gets brought up every single time. Bed-time is even worse because they scream not to lock them in their bedroom and to be sure to stay home.
Their attitudes have done a complete 180 since they started visitation with their dad. I am really lost and I don't know what to do so I can help them.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@shegsynet (2)
• Nigeria
3 Jul 10
Well,it might take time to bring about the change you wanted but just keep on loving them and as the time goes on they will begin to realise and change for better
1 person likes this
@weasel81 (2496)
• Australia
3 Jul 10
every case is different, my son comes back from his dads different when he goes there. but if their saying these sorts of things, maybe u need to take to them to see a consoullor so you can find out what it true and if you need to take action to protect your children.
i've got an empty house for the next week, so realy lost on what i should do.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Jul 10
hi karebear It sounds to me like they are feeling the divorce
and are confused and angry, and being so young they really dont
understand why you and your husband separated. About the hot water
has anyone ever given them a bath in too hot water? Or locked
them in their room? I mean something seems to me to have triggered
those responses. Are you there at those supervised visitation? Could
your husband have said something to your little girls to make them
think the bathwater will be too hot? or they will be locked in
their rooms? I have the feelling that he has suggested to them that
you might make the water too hot or lock them in their rooms?
Something has scared them and upset them and they are too young to
understand it. I am like you I do think those visitations have something to do with this. Have you just sat down and talked to them about the divorce and the visitation. they might be thinking that it was something they did to cause it. I think perhaps you need to take you girls to a family counselor and let her get to the bottom of this.
