Why on earth did they get married?

@ElicBxn (63568)
United States
July 4, 2010 9:24pm CST
Surely you know a few, I know a LOT, but I have a LOT of strange friends, that you wonder "why did he/she marry him/her?" Case in point, a guy was married to a gal, she got strange, he divorced her. Later, they hooked up together again and then he got strange and she divorced him... That particular couple I knew pretty much since they met and I always wondered what she saw in him... I didn't see it Years later his mother said to me "I wasn't sure about you, but you would've been better than she is." I reminded her that I broke it off with him, not the other way around... Then there's the couple where he's odd enough, but while she might've been pretty normal at first, she became really strange before the divorce. I kid you not, if it had been me, that would've ended YEARS before it did! Then there is the rude geek who has the lovely, sweet wife. What does she see in him? I don't know, I don't think I'm much of a prize, after all, I never got married, and a good part of that was up to me. But I really wonder sometimes about what people see in their spouses... So, tell me, do you see things like this? Do you ever wonder if people think the same thing about you and your spouse? Or are you like me and never inflicted your strangeness on a partner?
10 people like this
25 responses
• United States
5 Jul 10
well, i am 22 and just got married. i know people look down on us to a degree for marrying so young. That's ok though. Let people think what they think. They arent in a position to judge anyone. Its not so much inflicting your strangeness on them if they are just as weird as you, and that is the goal right?
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
5 Jul 10
First, I don't care the age of the people, one pair was well into their 20's when they married, and the couple that remarried were in their 30's when they remarried. I guess I'm more thinking of people where one of the pair seems normal and the other... well very odd... That's me, by the way, very odd....
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jul 10
Yea, sometimes i wonder how some people land a decent husband or wife. Hmm.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
5 Jul 10
I saw a lady in the park the other night sitting on a blanket with a guy and she was playing with the hair on his back My boyfriend said..she loves him...I would play with the hair on your back if you had it...LIAR! LOL....whatever..you never know what others see in their partners. There is so much below the surface that we can't understand unless we are there and them I guess. Me and my b/f are what a lot of people think of as complete oppisites but I think that's part of the attraction.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
6 Jul 10
I worked with a gal who just "loved his hairy back" and another gal who was grossed out by hairy backs but liked a hairy chest... YUK!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
12 Jul 10
You know mate, we're not supposed to be judgemental or intolerant. Another thing...everyone is a bit strange, it's the degree that varies. Being strange is actually normal. Anyone who isn't strange is abnormal. I've inflicted myself on several other weird people and eventually I've been too eccentric to continue to be able to tolerate putting up with their weird behaviour and unusual attitudes. I wonder all the time why one person who is relatively decent puts up with someone else who is downright obnoxious. I guess for some, when they do the vows, make the commitment, speak the promises, it actually means something and they are serious. I'm afraid the understanding is beyond me.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
12 Jul 10
Oh, I'm the same but I jump in the deep end then it takes me several years of agony till I can't take it anymore and then I run away.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
12 Jul 10
I guess I'm not one to put up with the antics of anyone who might want to marry me!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Jul 10
hi ElicBxn I really think sometimes we judge too harshly as evidently in some cases he or she really saw something in his or her mate that we on the outside just did not see. Oh I married a man who was one in a million as he made me laugh, he made me smile, he made me happy. He did accept me as I was warts and all and I him. we knew nobody is perfect andwe loved each other so much.I am sure there were those that wondered what I saw in him but I saw a wonderful person, a charming person, who had to work for himself as he was too picky and got fired working for others.but he ran our gardening business and did very well at it too.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
5 Jul 10
I think that's great. I think those things can make it work, and those sound like good reasons to have a marriage work. Still, there are those people, like the gal who go so strange, she was killing her dog by forcing him to be a vegan like she was being and not letting him eat if she wasn't going to eat. I can see why her husband left her if she was doing that to him...
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
5 Jul 10
Here's Maggiepie, just sitting here trying to figure out who's who in that list above! Wotta soap opera some people live!!! But aren't you forgetting we, as bffs, inflicted OUR "strangeness" on one another? I've never been sorry. ;o Maggiepie “Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.” ~ Pope John Paul II
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
5 Jul 10
yeah, but we were "just friends" not quite the same as making children together - and really you only knew the first pair
1 person likes this
@basqui (3888)
• Philippines
5 Jul 10
Every person has a sweet side and several people only see that side. Maybe the wives that they've married are the once that only appreciated that sweet side so they get married with them even if the most part that people see is the bad side of that person. There are even couples who see the violence of a person as a good side, well, even if they are psychos, they eventually get married sometime, right?
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
5 Jul 10
ya got me, I guess I'm just to cynical about these things, I guess I haven't been in love enough to over look all their problems...
@basqui (3888)
• Philippines
5 Jul 10
You'll get to meet your own psycho sometime soon, lol!
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
6 Jul 10
Hun, I'm pushing 57, he'd better HURRY!!!
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
5 Jul 10
This is a funny post. My husband and I were just talking about something like this. We talked of people that say they have been married 25 years and that sounds wonderful. We are coming up on 8 years and he wants to look up and see that mark for us. I am with him on that. I think was kinda "strange" as you put it, Before we got married. I dont really think of people as strange but maybe mean. The people I know, I know of them more in a friendship context not romance. So I am not sure what they do or dont do that annoys their spouse. My husband and I never expected to change one another and from that we have naturally grown and matured. I am very happy in my relationship. I doubt anyone says we are strange, We are great together. Friends and lovers.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
5 Jul 10
That's what it takes, both people working on it. The one case where she got strange, I never knew her before she started getting strange, and she is "disabled" because of her mental problems... I honestly was surprised he stayed with her as long as he did... Having said that, he broke it off all wrong too, and I have to say, she didn't deserve to be treated as he did. The couple that, I think, are still together, the first time I ever met him, he was rude. Now, I knew another guy who was ALMOST as rude as this guy, but when he proclaimed his love to his future wife, she told him that he had to start treating everyone like they were her. And he did. But he was at least often funny as well, having a quirky sense of humor. But this guy, while seeming to be trying to moderate his rudeness, isn't doing as good a job...
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
5 Jul 10
The cuple that lived here was not or isnt meant to be. SHe is staying not sure wqhat he will do when he gets out of jail they sure dont need to be together for the abuse that has gone on from him. and I asked them why they got marreid they realy couldnt tell me he said he loved her well ya dont do that to people ya love hitting chokeing and verbal abuse. With my hubby every one said wwe belonged to gether
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
6 Jul 10
yup I have seen both. and no one deserves to be hit !
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
6 Jul 10
I knew someone who said that by the time the spouse was hit, they felt they deserved it, well, she was thinking husbands beating their wives, but I've seen a couple of cases where the wives hit the husbands...
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
6 Jul 10
You know what, it reminds me of the saying: "There are two kinds of marriages - where the husband quotes the wife, or where the wife quotes the husband." Marriages work for some, and not for others. In this modern world, marriages do not come easy, and sometimes people hang on to it like clutching to a straw. But some love their independence and do not see the necessity for it yet. I think it depends on individual. Some marry for the right reasons while others for the wrong ones.. Ha..I've seen lots of rude geeks with lovely sweet wives and I think hard. And I get no answer. LOL!!
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
6 Jul 10
You and me, Zed, wondering away at what the patient one is thinking...
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
6 Jul 10
Hahhaha, yes.. precisely..
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
5 Jul 10
Hi Elic, People see different things in people and perhaps to us they might seem a strange couple but there are qualities that we don't see, the outsiders will never learn the inner secrets of our homes and likewise with marriages, some end, some last forever but each one is individual to the two people that have made their vows. My own marriage, we were happy together for 7 years and then got married, he suddenly looked at me like you are my wife now you do asIsay now and became controlling, that part of him had previously been kept hidden so I left and have never remarried. I will livewith my own strangeness from now on lol. Huggles. Ellie:D
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
5 Jul 10
OOO, I'd've been so outta there, and taking everything I could tote away with me
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
5 Jul 10
I was superfast lol, that was many years ago now but a shock at the time how someone could change overnight, the material things remained behind wasn't bothered on that score. Huggles. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Jul 10
There's my sister-in-law who is perky and funny and is married to a grouchy old man.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
7 Jul 10
makes ya wonder, maybe he's really sweet in private... nahhhhhhhh...
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Jul 10
nahhhhhhhh...
1 person likes this
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
6 Jul 10
I have shown my strangeness to partners and they thought I was weird! Ususally there was something else that coused the breakup! I am happy I never married! I look at my mom and dad's marriage. They were not meant to be together but they did! I think she did because she was desperate for a husband to be a father to my half-brother and he wanted to be married to get help out on the farm and produce kids! I knew my mom wasn't happy! I knew someone who has learning disabilities who was totally irresponsible and he married someone who had a teenage daughter and mom was still going to school! Why they got married was beyond me and they were divorced within 3 years! I just think people are just plain out of their minds! That is why they don't think before they get married!
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
7 Jul 10
see, that rather sounds like someone I met who said that she was about to the point where she'd marry anyone, and be his "slave" if it meant he would take care of her and her daughter... and she HAD been married when she had her daughter but divorced - tho this was before the day of mandated child support
• Canada
5 Jul 10
Yes I have a couple of friends who aren't even married. But they have a child together, the wife does everything around the house. While her mate just sits on his butt doing nothing but barking orders at her. It makes me really angry because they have a small child together and it's like he could care less about her.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
6 Jul 10
not me, I get annoyed when I see women making up plates for their spouses/boyfriends... it were me, they'd go hungry!
@dsrp82 (676)
• Brazil
6 Jul 10
I don't believe in marriage. Maybe because my parent's failed, but I dont.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
6 Jul 10
It is an interesting question but I don’t believe that anyone else can answer it aside from the people in the relationship themselves. I have a sweet lovely friend who is married to a man I really don’t like because he is generally an arrogant know all and I often look at them together and wonder why she chose him when she could have had a gentler more considerate man but she adores him and that is a good thing; as long as he doesn’t mistreat her it is a mystery to me but not to her, clearly.
1 person likes this
@scififan43 (2434)
• United States
11 Dec 10
I am sure we have all seen this time and time again. not marryed yet but maybe next year sometime. I am sure someone will say the samthing aobut me and my partner. but everyone I know is supporitve of us.
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
5 Jul 10
I have come to the conclusion that the rude guy ends up with the sweet wife because she's the only one who would put up with him. So...should I a queen bee with an itch in order to get a good man??? Funny how things happen, eh?
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
5 Jul 10
I donno, hun, I am not one of those, but I do know what I want and I'm not afraid to push to get it... Oh, and having kids wasn't one of the things I wanted...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Jul 10
hi there.. your question has a simple answer, its beacuse they love eachother.. no matter how opposite they are if they both inlove then theirs no question to that. everybody deserves to be happy. Ive seen other young peolpe marrying old ones. some are beautyful but their partners are ugly, you see everything happends for a reason, it doesnt matter who you are and what you are,a s long as you and your partner love eachother there's no queation on that...
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
5 Jul 10
I guess I wonder what people see in these people. Of course, I am seeing these people without the loving eyes of their spouses, but what about the pair that married and remarried? Mind you, I can't understand why a person would EVER remarry someone they divorced... on that note, remember, I ditched the guy before they ever met!
@satz0249 (125)
• India
5 Jul 10
once a guy and a gal start loving each other .. at first it will be as if they are the best made for each other pair...once fights start to come in their reationship they come to know each others negative points than they found their positive while loving truely... then they split up and they will not be able to stay alone so they join again.. and start fighting for the same reason for which they break off before.. and split up again :-)
1 person likes this
@denise36 (128)
• United States
12 Jul 10
I've heard it said that opposites attract. Maybe these people balance each other out. I have had two friend who were married to women got abusive and acted weird during the divorce, like they were different peoople. That part I will never understand.
1 person likes this