Complaints

I have a friend who used to be that way. Thank God she is no longer like that. Like you i would listen while she would go on and on. I've been friends with her for 20 years, so she is like a sister to me but it really does drain you when listening to a person who is just miserable and never has anything good going on. I would let her vent but always stay positive with her and try to point out the positive things that she did have going on. I would suggest to her that if all she see's are the negative things going on in her life, she will never be able to point out the positive things. We are blessed every day but some people are too negative to acknowledge those blessings. Getting a close parking at walmart is a blessing. Waking up in the morning is a blessing. As annoying and draining she was, i would never give up being positive with her. I am thankful to say that she has finally seen the light!! lol. After years and years of talking to her about changing her mindset to a positive one, she has finally done it and called me to thank me for never giving up on her and not allowing her to soak in her own misery. That's what miserable people look for, they complain and look for pity. Misery loves company! I never gave her that. I would tell her that her negative mindset attracted all of those negative things. I know she would get annoyed with me and my positivity but i didn't care. I love her and i refused to swim in her self pity. I encouraged her and told her things would get better but she needed to stop complaining about all the wrong things going on but acknowledge all the good things in life. Not until she did that would things change for her and i thank God that they finally did. I know it's frustrating but try to be that positive energy for her. Not only speak it but live it and live by example. When you have a positive mindset, you live a positive life. Your friend needs positive people to help her get there.

If she complains it she is making her own life miserable. We would definitley feel bad when a friend is making herself unhappy and we can at best offer her a shoulder if the complaint is genuine.Do not lose your patience because your friendship would be lost. Change the topic and talk about other good things; tell her to do it. he will follow suit if she values your friendship.

Sounds like your friend is my best friend!!! She has a WONDERFUL life, yet she complains constantly because she can't control EVERYTHING going on in her life!!! If the sun comes up, it didn't rise at the exact right moment. She's waited 20 years for her boyfriend to ask her to marry him. He finally does & she says NO because she didn't like when he asked her. Sometimes when you're a good friend, you just have to tell your friend what bugs you. I got to where I avoided being around my friend because I felt so sad after spending time with her. She was complaining one night at dinner that ALL her friends had abandoned her. I said to her Excuuuuuse me, I thought I was your friend. Maybe the others just got tired of your incessant whining. You have a GREAT life & instead of appreciating it, you biitch it's not good enough. You have a GREAT job, loving children, a boyfriend who treats you with respect. You have NOTHING to complain about!!!! She looked at me like I had lost my mind & said Is it that bad??? Of course I responded with an UmHmmmm. She was a little cool towards me for a few days, but then she called & invited me to lunch. We had a WONDERFUL time with absolutely NO whining!!! She hugged my neck & thanked me for being a good friend. She admitted that she didn't always like what I said to her, but she did appreciate my honesty. Her attitude totally changed after that & I now enjoy being around her!!! So, have you tried the straight forward approach??? If she quits talking to you, she's NOT a very good friends to begin with!!! If she's really your friend, she will take it with ALL the love you mean it to have!!! Good luck with your friend!!!!

I have a friend who is kind of the same. Except all she moans about his her health problems, but believe me, although she does have some health issues, she does play on it a lot. Everytime I talk to her, she has a new illness, or something is always wrong with her, it gets boring after a while as it just seems she has nothing else to talk about. She moans and moans, and it really does get on my nerves, but she is a friend so I listen. I think the only thing you can do, like I do myself in this situation is try and change the subject, another thing I do is make a joke of it, only if you can though, some people do not have a sense of humour. If she has a sense of humour then you could say something like "Your always moaning" or something like that, but saying it in a joking way so you don't cause offence or start an argument. If it carries on like this, and you really do feel like you will end up losing it and telling her to shut up, the only other thing to do is try not to see her as much (I know being a neighbour would be hard), or just tell her how you feel. Good Luck though!

Like OMG, do we know that same person. LOL.... I have a friend like that also, and it really gets to me on most days. Fortunately for me we are not neighbors so I do not have to see her as often as you with yours. However, it does not matter the day, time or year that is all that comes out of her mouth. One complaint after another, it seems that her life is completely filled with drama. I have had one heck of a tough year and am very fragile when it comes to listening to other peoples problems, mainly because I am under a state of a nervous break down. This friend of my mine knows exactly what I am dealing with but yet she will call me three to four times a day. Blah, blah, blah blah blah... I too do not want to hurt her feelings but it drives me nuts. I finally decided that when she calls I just won't answer. I did not think I would hold out too long but it has been about 2 months that I have not responded to her calls. I feel horrible about it as she is a good friend but my mental state is very weak right now and I can't handle it. I mean one time I told her exactly how I felt and she immediately ended the call. Which told me that she is going to do what she wants no matter what. The truth hurts and I am not one to instantly cause pain. But I just couldn't take it. Well she finally called me back after two weeks and acted as if nothing was wrong and continued with her complaining ways about other things. So these type of people it just doesn't help. They are going to do what they are going to do, no matter what. I suppose since your friend is a neighbor you can't avoid her forever, but maybe when she begins to complain, take the opportunity to excuse yourself and leave for the moment. Reason I say this is because I miss my friend but I have no tolerance right now for the babble about silly nothing. Good Luck to you and your friend, maybe she will run of gas and not complain so much. LOL... had to throw in a cheery note.

Have you ever tried telling her that she complains a lot? I mean if you're really good friends you should be able to be honest with her about your feelings, besides if it affects you then she should know. Turn whatever it is that she is complaining about into something funny and that will be your joke of the day. In that way you put a positive spin into something so negative, that will prevent you from getting down after a visit from your friend.

Don't yell at her. It'll just worsen the situation. Just keep quiet while she complains. Or you can ask her if it ever occured to her that she's always complaining. Maybe she hasn't noticed herself recently.