Do you slap or thrash your child?
By udaymohan
@udaymohan (437)
India
July 7, 2010 1:07am CST
I have also slapped my both sons when they were 6 & 4 years respectively. That incident took place about 25 years back. I still cannot forget that day. My wife had gone to a movie with her friends in Kohima and I was supposed to look after our both kids. They were playing and I was engrossed in a novel and it was very interesting chapter. Suddenly I heard my younger son crying. I went to them and I found that the elder son had beaten his younger brother. I, all of a sudden lost temper, only God knows why, and I slapped my elder son, probably a bit harder than I had expected. He started crying. It was really a loud cry and tears started coming from his eyes. Seeing the elder brother crying my younger son first stopped crying and then he also joined his brother. By the time my elder son almost started choking and he continued to cry. I had become nervous. I did not know what to do. I took both of them in my lap. It took me hours to pacify them. They were still sobbing when my wife came.
Since then, I have never raised my hands on them and for that matter, never on any other children.
Inculcating discipline is one thing and beating them is altogether a very different thing. Our such behaviour, in fact, is exoression of of our cruelty in our sub-conscious mind. This is what I feel.
Never beat them. It would really hurt you when you start thinking why, at all, you had slapped the child.
1 person likes this
12 responses
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
7 Jul 10
..hi.. I'm a young parent and with your experience, I think you suddenly lost your temper.. what I do when I want to discipline my child is to give her a warning first.. then if she continue doing the bad thing that I don't like, that's the time I whip her in her butt.. but never in other parts of her body.. then when she cries, I just let her cry until she comes near me then I explain to her why I did that thing.. I think, whipping the child isn't bad if you let them realize their mistake.. that's one way of disciplining them.. but their are children that can be disciplined without spanking them.. they easily obey orders.. that's why it is also very important to learn different strategies in disciplining a child.. although it really hurts our feelings when we see our children shed tears but that's part of letting them realize the difference between bad and good.. but again, like I've said, not all children can be disciplined by spanking.. it depends on the strategy of the parent or parents..
@juryse (752)
• Philippines
8 Jul 10
I have never slapped any of my kids. I have 2 girls ages 10 & 5 and they can be very noisy and naughty that it drives me nuts. Although I raise my voice when I'm angry and to be honest tempted to spank them, I have been able to control myself. I'm not judging anyone who does because we are only human and we can only stretch our patience so much. But I believe that kids are smart and you can actually talk to them if you try.
@udaymohan (437)
• India
9 Jul 10
By slapping or whipping or thrashing, you can never make your children to bow down before you. Quite possibly they start a feelings of anger against you which they would not be in position to show. Best way to make a child understand is to tell motivational stories even by concocting them based on the episode in which your children got involved and you did not like it. Beating or thrashing them are not right thing to do. Your stern words or hard stare could do wonders.
@lilangelspreschool (1129)
• United States
7 Jul 10
I do spank my children on the butt when they do something wrong. Once they calm down I tell them what they did wrong and why they got in trouble. I do not beat them or anything. I don't think Time Out works for children who have done something really bad, as in hitting another child or something of that nature. For something a little less severe, as in saying something mean like calling a child a name or something like that maybe Time Out works but not for major things... At least in my opinion.
I am a better person for the spankings I got as a child, they taught me good lessons. I was never beat or anything but spankings are a very good way of discipline...
=)
@Yuusha (111)
• Sweden
7 Jul 10
So...
Your child hits another child, and in order to show your child that hitting others is wrong... you hit them? Where is the sense in that? Have you ever stopped and thought about what you're doing? You're ABUSING a child, YOUR OWN child. Calling it "discipline" doesn't make it any less abuse.
There are people who were raised completely without abuse who have turned out just fine, so you can't claim it's the only way to raise a child.
@lilangelspreschool (1129)
• United States
29 Jul 10
My dad never hit me at all and I was TERRIFIED of him as a child. My mom spanked us, and I wasn't afraid of her at all...
@Celanith (2327)
• United States
8 Jul 10
You should never spank a child in anger and certainly not slap a child in the face ever. However God gave an instruction book and it tells parents if they LOVE their child they are to spank them on the backside the bottom. But never in anger or lashing out. Children need love but also discipline and where their bounderies are. Spanking is not hitting and it is also not beating and well I know the difference having had both as a child.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
15 Jul 10
I wouldn't say that I've ever beaten my children. However, I have spanked both of them on the butt a few times. The reason that I will spank them is when they are doing something that could be very dangerous to them or to others and that is the only way to really get the point across. However, I would never hit them for something that won't be dangerous to them or to others. Instead, when something happens with them that upsets me but isn't dangerous, I will explain what they've done wrong and I will give them time out.
@gunjandubey (512)
• India
7 Jul 10
No this is the most ridiculous thing to do with your child. Children should be treated properly,just like friends.........
@magtibaygom (4858)
• Philippines
8 Jul 10
It's mentioned in the Bible that from time to time we should discipline a child by mild beating, but not too harsh. If you will use some slight force, they will grow up like a spoiled brat. Sometimes, mild beating is needed to show you're still in authority. And then tell the crying child why did you do that. Teach the child moral lessons.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Jul 10
udaymohan I have never slapped or beat my children when they were
litle as I was never slapped or spanked when I was a child, and my
friends sometimes were spanked so hard they were bruised and hated'
their parents.I made up my mind when I had children of my own I would fing better ways of discipline because hurting a child only teaches them that
the one who has the power always wins, that's not what I wanted my own
children to learn. Standing in the corner, time outs and taking away privileges worked with my two. We lost our daughter at age 8 but both
my son and my daughter were really pretty well behaved. but in your case you found out that hurting a child gains nothing and makes you feel guitly as well. Cruelty is not something we want to teach our children.,
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
7 Jul 10
..hi.. I'm a young parent and with your experience, I think you suddenly lost your temper.. what I do when I want to discipline my child is to give her a warning first.. then if she continue doing the bad thing that I don't like, that's the time I whip her in her butt.. but never in other parts of her body.. then when she cries, I just let her cry until she comes near me then I explain to her why I did that thing.. I think, whipping the child isn't bad if you let them realize their mistake.. that's one way of disciplining them.. but their are children that can be disciplined without spanking them.. they easily obey orders.. that's why it is also very important to learn different strategies in disciplining a child.. although it really hurts our feelings when we see our children shed tears but that's part of letting them realize the difference between bad and good.. but again, like I've said, not all children can be disciplined by spanking.. it depends on the strategy of the parent or parents..
@worldbestwriter2008 (1633)
• Philippines
7 Jul 10
i still don't bear a child..of course i'm still single..but the fact why i joined this discussion because as a child to my parents i have experienced being slapped by my father infront of my mother, it was then when my school needs wasn't paid attention by my mother and i happen to answer back my mother, but without further adieu my father didn't hesitate to throw his right hand on my checked, my father slapped me...that was one of the most unforgettable disciplined i received from my father.
@namiya (1718)
• Philippines
7 Jul 10
I've been guilty of this offense too to my youngest son when he was five years old. He's the type who goes around everywhere and if he has a chance escapes and plays or go somewhere else hence, we're always looking for him on our neighbors or his playmates houses if we can't find him within the vicinity of our home. My patience snapped when he backrided on a playmate's bike (playmate is about 8-9 years old)to go to a nearby place passing through the highway which is a very busy one. It's fortunate that a friend saw them and informed me. I went after them and right after arriving home, I let him lie flat in his stomach and bit his legs several times with a one inch leather belt. Honestly, I felt guilty specially when he cried due to the pain I inflicted however, I controlled my tears and explained to him later when he calmed down that I did it to let him realize the dangers that may result from his being disobedient. Eventually he had mellowed on his escapades but honestly, now that he is already a young man he still remembers that beating and teases me about it when I tend to be mad of his naughty antics
@avani26 (1518)
• India
7 Jul 10
I have a 10 year old girl child but to tell you the truth I have never once spanked, slapped or thrashed her. One stare from me and she would start crying. I really do not understand the need for spanking the child. You should make the child understand that what they have done is wrong. Once they get used to spanking they will become more stubborn so the best way is give them some punishment like not talking to them or not letting them see tv the whole day.
Anyway's girl children are basically quiet and I do not have any experience raising boys so do not know how difficult it can be but still I am against spanking kids.
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
7 Jul 10
So far i have not hit or thrash my child yet.Just a light tap to the forehead when he is ultra naught only.Usually my slow or sudden sharp pierce in voice is enought to pause to kid for naught.Because i usually speak in a calm and gentle voice since he is only 2 years old and still innocent and the world is just a big playground for him. When is bigger i prefer not to use my hands instead maybe a small rattan cane to discipline him.
