How do you handle people that complain all the time?
By RachelleNH
@RachelleNH (1396)
United States
July 7, 2010 12:16pm CST
I ran into this old friend a few weeks ago..it had been 10 years since we'd seen each other. We used to have so much fun hanging out-but we were single and younger then. Anyways, I gave her my number, she called a few times..and every time it was to tell me that her and hubby were fighting and all she did was complain and carry on. I have been feeling kinda guilty because I'm avoiding her calls now..I just don't want to be brought down like that-I miss the old her-the laughing, funny friend. I've been telling her I'm on my way out the door, whatever just to avoid the hour sessions. I've been feeling happy and optimistic lately-I just can't handle any negativity. How do you handle people like this?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Anlufet (27)
• Philippines
8 Jul 10
Always be a blessing to others.
If your friend is in a tight spot, you may want to offer a shoulder. Just empathize, no need to drag negativity into you. Instead, push some of your positive attitude to her. Here, you can be creative since it's easier said than done ;)
But if your friend is complaining just for the sake of complaining, avoid that dude at all cost.
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
8 Jul 10
I tried talking about the silly things we did 10 years ago...We had some good times and I have funny stories to tell...but she went right back to him again...and all the things he's done wrong and so on and so on. I have started to wonder when it'll end. When I ran into her at her workplace she seemed so upbeat and happy...I had no idea she was that miserable.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
8 Jul 10
It can really change your mood and your attitude to hear others complaining. Life is too short and there is too much to achieve to waste time complaining. Look for the good things in life and show others there is not so much to complain about. Everyone will be happier for it. Your mood and your attitude will thank you.
1 person likes this
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
8 Jul 10
This is very true...she seems to be picking him apart every time she complains about him. I find myself just listening and getting frustrated. I don't want to get involved, or give advice..and it brings me down. I would rather talk about "girl" stuff or go somewhere and have fun. We're very different-she can't have kids and is raising her hubby's kid. I have 2 kids and am divorced. I left my problems far behind me. I am embracing the future and searching for happiness
@carrie_023 (61)
• China
8 Jul 10
i met the same situation in my college. we studied in the different class.we had many good times until she fall in love with her boyfriend who is working in another city. she spent lots of time complaining that she had quarrel with boyfriend and etc. for the beginning i tried my best to give her advise and ease her anxiety but the day tomorrow she will tell me that she and her friend become well again. again and again.i feel so tired about her.like you did,i consciously avoid her, then we lost the contact after graduation. i do not regret to lose such friend.
1 person likes this
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
8 Jul 10
When it comes to affairs of the heart-people don't want to get involved..and that's me for sure. I want no part of giving anyone love advice LOL
@sinaj292 (602)
• India
8 Jul 10
I think it is very difficult to handle the people that complain all the time ..... some We need to sacrifice our stand to get the talk with them..... I actually does not like people like that..... they may spoil our mood ...... So i think it is better to keep some distance with such people........
1 person likes this
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
8 Jul 10
It's been a week and no calls..I will give her one more shot...but I can't take it if that's all we're going to talk about every time we talk.
@wickedspies (965)
• United States
7 Jul 10
i think it would make you a good friend just to listen. Some people just need someone to vent to. I would suggest a girls night out to catch up and have some fun. The worst thing a friend could do is just stop talking to each other. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
7 Jul 10
This is something I've considered..maybe she's in a tough spot..we'll see how long it lasts-if she keeps it up for months-I'm gonna cut my losses. I've suggested we go out but she works all the time and says she can't because her hubby is insecure.Thanks for your ideas :)
•
8 Jul 10
do not avoid her but be there for her but tell her nicely hey you dwelling on the situation is not helping you at all and it is not helping me either i do not understand everything you are going through but i am here for you as a listening ear encourage her and bring comfort to her in the midst of her situation that is what a real friend will do do not shut her out but embrace her and show her that you love and care for her just be there as a friend and once she know that you are there supporting her and loving her through all this then she will feel better.
