We Are Not Yet Through With HIM!

I think she's feeling that he doesn't care when he actually does but is trying to protect his wife by not showing it. It's kind of like a catch 22 type of thing, he's damned if he does and he's damned if he doesn't which isn't a good place to be in at all. Of course he doesn't like it when someone else touches his wife! But he's handling it the way he knows best but it seems to be back firing on him. Maybe he needs to talk to her to reassure her that yes he is mad and he will handle it his own way to not worry.

Why wouldn't the husband want to share how he felt with his wife? Sure he should let his emotions come out! I don't know if he should tell his wife what he has planned for the BIL. I think if two people are married they should have a very good communiczaation between them. If they don't then the relationship breaks down.

I think he should have enough respect for her to say something to the bil. Maybe he thinks it was her fault.

i don't think husband would to react because this is his brother we are talking about. who knows, he might equally feel bad and hurt as the wife, it's just that he's keeping his cool and balance because both are important to him. this might even be tormenting to him. however, we can't blame the wife if she wants to get the sympathy of the husband. this really is a tough situation. the brother in law must be really sorry for doing this to his brother and his sister in law.

hello neil, It is a must,the wife feels as if,her husband's ignoring her feelings. I know the situation is not easy for the husband,for he is being torn into two(between his wife and his brother) But,the husband must assure his wife that,he will talk to his brother regarding the matter. It is the wife's right to know what her husband's plan..and what is the outcome if conversation/confrontation ever happens(between the two brothers)

I'd say my response is continuation to what Hatley has said above. The girl wants some reaction, needs severance of ties, which the husband is not doing - possibly out of fear of society - after all it would be out in public. Such considerations are there. I didnt come for previous discussion but hopefully there is no monetary entanglement. Of course, he resents is. The girl wants blood. So why is he calm, just because of society? That makes him lesser of man in the eyes of his wife, and it would continue to be so!!!! I wouldnt be surprised if this marriage is headed towards divorce unless the man is able to severe ties! The wife is brewing the issue in her mind as anybody who'd undergone that kind of humiliation would. Everytime there is an issue, however minor, it will spill out. For her sanity it will be necessary to break ties with the brother.

So this is the continuation on the sequel. For me since I see the wife is troubled about the situation. He needs to tell her wife to calm down. Maybe the husband would not want to create scandal in the family and would just try to talk with BIL amicably where the two can settle things peacefully with the other party. Well if I were the husband I would not also be hysterical about the situation. I would try to control it ans maybe when things are settled down we can talk things out and clear this issue out and agree not to do it again. The second time this happens then I think there is really wrong that it needs some drastic measures to stop this.

Are you saying the wife should just be quiet and forget about what happened? The man assaulted her. Should she suffer that crime and then suffer a husband who cares nothing for her plight instead wanting the whole thing kept quiet for the sake of family? Are you saying the husband is not offended? Just what does the husband think??? Yes, he should tell BIL that his actions are unacceptable and he is to apologise to the wife. What does he plan for BIL...these are strange questions of yours...are you the husband Neil?

Whatever it is about his feelings today he have to tell it to her wife because wife is worried. And what in the first place is the reason why the husband did not reacted? Maybe the husband don't want to make the problem gets bigger, he understand what happened although it was not a good scenario, and he keeps quiet so as the problem will just pass. I think that is the reason why the wife is stress, it is because the husband is not talking about his feelings. Being a husband and wife, they have to be honest of their feelings. Even if in wife it hurts to say that BIL took advantage of her, but still she choose to tell the truth because she don't want hiding anything to her husband, and I hope the husband will do the same. It is more good if they will be honest with each other.

neildc why should not the husband tell her,why be secretive, now days we women are known to have good sense, to be equal to you men, yes I would be angry to if my husband failed to react to his own brother coming on to his wife, what? you think he should be more loyal to his brother when the guy was t rying to make out with his own wife? no that would be so wrong.Yes he should tell his own wife how he feels,communication in a marriage will keep it from falling apart.Yes he should tell her what he is going to do about it? She is not a child to be kept in the dark but an adult who was assaulted by her own brother in law. this is w rong and do not tell me it is not. Yes marriage is a two way street, she talks and he listens, he talks and she listens., she is not a toy to be petted on the head and sent away. thats old stuff.

yeah why not.. i would be straight up how i feel about it. and my anger would have came out the same day i found out, and yes tell her what the plan is

I think that when a man hides his emotions from his wife he looses some of her trust in him. This situation would be much better delt with if he would be honest with her. Until that happens I see no good results from this mess.

A woman needs to know that the husband has been affected by this situation! She needs to know that she comes first with him always and will stand up for her especially if she has been victimised in some way. I was in her position I would feel hurt that my own husband, my soft place to fall has had no reaction to another man having made a pass on me, never mind the fact that it is his own brother! Yes, the husband should react to this and let out his feelings unless he really doesn’t care...

The husband is really in a tight situation but I guess he should explain his actions and hide nothing anymore to his wife I'm sure that the wife would understand the reaction of her husband

Without reading the previous post, let me just express my thought about this post, initially, the husband will react bad on the situation and confront the BIL and it will be best to confront so that the BIL will not think that the husband is just okay with whatever happened and he will not take the chance to do it again and as a husband, he should be open to his wife whatever he feels and plans....just my opinion but I know and respect the husband in this situation has a good reasons for controlling himself.