"This is not butter, this is not whole wheat bread. Wheres the salad?"

I am not sure that I understood your point completely here. But from what I understood I can say that these people should not create any meaningless discussion in mylot. myLot is a very good website with highest quality discussions, serious discussions happening on the internet. This is the best place for good discussions. myLot is not for bad discussions or useless questions. Thanks.

Ah Hatley I do so sympathize with you. Can you change tables in the dining room? Or , can you ask to have your meals sent to your room or better yet, talk to admin and the head nurse can makes sure the other lady? eats at a different time or even in her room from now on?? I worked in nursing homes for years and many of our residents ate on the patio or porch weather permitting. But we also had to sit some of the other more gripy ones at what we called the round table and keep them out of every one else's hair ! And, if I know you at all, I think a few choice words out of your mouth would shut her up !! Give it a go girl, she's a pain in the you know what !! Good luck, and hugs, quita of all people

You can't make her change but you can influence her attitude. Example-when she complains it's not butter tell her that it's ____ which is lower in calories, cholesterol and fat but tastes very good. Not enough sunshine today? That's great because the flowers were dying for some shade and they are so pretty when they're happy. If she asks how you are (doubtful) tell her you're terrific, what a lovely day this is!! See, she's the victim of a bad attitude that is probably more of a habit than an actual conscious effort. Flood her with positive conversation and alternatives to her complaints. After a few weeks she will probably improve. I used to be like her until I was forced to attend a company function that had a motivational speaker. He told me we choose whether or not to have a good day and we control everything that happens to us with our attitude. We can wake up and tell ourselves it's a great day or we can tell ourselves it's gonna suck--and it will. I took control and am happier for it. You can teach Alice to do the same, I hope.

Hiya, Hatley I'm afraid I would more than likely tune this person out. I might nod every now and then as she finishes a complaint so she doesn't start complaining about people not listening to her

some people clearly think complaining is a fun hobby. i'm sure they have a great time but it is not much fun for those around them. i don't think i have much advice to add, you've already had some great suggestions. i think distraction might be the way forward. or just ignore her until she starts talking about something other than what is wrong with her dinner

I've certainly seen people like this at the nursing home where I worked for more than a year. I responded with empathy. That's about all you can do. You're not going to change her or her mind about what and how she wants everything. In my experience, other residents have told the new one that if they don't like what is prepared for them, they should provide their own food: that way they will have exactly what they want. The other option I would suggest it to have their doctor write an order for whatever they want. If it's a doctor's order the administration and food preparation staff have to provide it for them. That probably won't stop Alice's bellyaching, but future rants wouldn't necessarily be about the food.

The lady sounds quite distressed to me. It must be awful to leave behind all you are familiar with and move into a home. You know how awfully life can treat you Hatley. This lady will soon settle in, make a friend maybe and become used to everything going on around her. If she continues to be a problem someone might have to kindly tell her that she needs to be more accepting, thoughtful of others and friendly if she wants to be in any way happy. I hate the thought that these changes the poor lady is going through are going to continue to distress her so that her old age becomes totally miserable.

Hi Hatley, It is probably in her character to be a moaner, some people thrive on it, don't know why but surely theymust have somethingbetter to do than complain all the time. I would just feel sorry for her as if this is her exsistence it is a sad one. I would be polite but ask her to stop moaning and eat as you would like peace to enjoy your meal, constant moaning from her may give you indigestion lol. Huggles. Ellie :D

Hi, Hatley. I would just tell her if everything is not feasible to her she should take it up to the administrator. She must be very scared to say anything to the upper head. But she should not ruin every one else meal just because she is not satisfied with her meal. It is very unfair to you all. I would just ignore her until she finds the courage to complain to the upper head and not to you all. Things are not going to be the way that she would like for them to be. She either has to take it or leave it~!

YOU TELL HER TO SHUTUP IF SHE DOESN'T HAVE SOMTHING NICE TO SAY!! She must be very unhappy and unable to make the best of a situation. Is she used to being waited on or something? If things aren't to my liking I get up and get it myself so it is. I'd take her aside and tell her to either shut up or you are going to deck her. JUST KIDDING!! I would set away from her and not be around her anymore that you have to be. Maybe try to make it blatonly clear you are avoiding her. If she has a problem with it and asks you or comments on it I would have something thought out to say. Very tactful and nice ofcourse.

It sounds like she has the habit of complaining about everything and that has to be so annoying! Some people thrive on whingeing! The only thing you can do is suggest she approaches admin with her woes because you are unable to help her with them and would she be interested in talking about something else and ask her about a movie or a book…Having said that I have the feeling she may not be so willing to easily change her ways because she has probably been the way she is for a heck of a long time! Putting up with her would be your only option, in that case. Can you change tables?

Perhaps you should slap her across the face with some lettuce leaves and tell her "here's your salad woman!" Just joking! Some people just cannot see the positive side in anything. You should tell her politely to take it up with the administration if she is not happy. Let her know that you are happy with the food and that you have no control over it anyway, so telling you about it is useless. Pointing out some positives might also allow her to settle in easier. Perhaps she is just upset or nervous about being there. Maybe then she will stop bringing everyone down.

It is true that your new table companion chooses to complain rather than be grateful for what she is given. It's hard to listen to the negativity, so do all you can to "redirect" the conversations. Make suggestions to her re how to be helpful re menu changes, as you have noted in mentioning her going to the administrator. Also, note that money is an object in serving many people and these are hard times for anyone. Make positive, grateful comments yourself as an example to her.

if i were you, i will tell her to write all her complaints and give it to the administrator... when i was still staying in our camp accomodation, i am the one who was always complaining regarding the food and everything... of course, everything was written out but the management are not responsive enough with our problems so i decided to live-out. got a nice flat and i only used to complain when this landlord come and knock for early payment... and so i need to show my last bill which is more than a months more before the next due.... this is one of the problems here as some caretakers are not fully aware regarding lapses and duration dates...

Hi Hatley, Sounds as if you have a princess amidst you! Someone should suggest that she move to a more upscale place to reside if she is expecting all of that. Unless she is paying an awful lot of money then I doubt she will find one to cater to her like that. They have how many residents in these places? It would be unreasonable for her or anyone to expect favoritism be shown to them. They can't please everyone. Like you, I have been without my own place before. It humbles you a lot. You learn about priorities and the difference between wants and needs. I am guessing that you guys won't have to say a thing. How long do you figure it will be before she really irritates some of the staff and one of them puts her in her place? In the meantime, I'm sorry you all have to listen to it. Doesn't make for very relaxing dinner conversation, does it?

Oh wow, sounds like she is a person who is concerned about her health and has always watched what she ate and is now forced to eat unhealthy food.. This is one reason that if I ever have to go to a retirement home, I'd try to go to one that is run by either Jews or Muslim because they eat a healthier diet because of their religion. I am sorry she ruins your meal every time, and I don't know how this place is run, but would she be allowed to supply her own extras like real butter? And if they are having pork, don't they have a menu for someone who is a vegetarian? Because if a person has never eaten or hasn't eaten meat in a long time, meat can make them sick..

Like Naomi? :D Naomi even complains about food that she likes! I guess I handle it by not sitting with that person next time. Or maybe I just take a deep breath, realize she's probably not happy to be there, and see if I can get her to talk about something else...

I am brought up to a family where kids were not allowed to talk and complain while having our meals.It is a bad table manner as we were told...It is the reason why I have less tolerance with the kind of behavior you mentioned.And, I had that similar experience with a housemate who keeps on complaining about the dish. I told him, straight face that if he doesn't like the food, don't eat them and cook yourself something that you like. He was shocked but realized he was ungrateful. From then on he stopped complaining about anything over our meals. Someone has to tell that friend of yours and put sense into her head. If she still doesn't get it and keeps on complaining, then, put an earplug to your er so you won't be hearing anything she says, or leave the table and eat somewhere else.

Hiya Hatley, Enough to give you indigestion listening to that maybe she will stop doing if she settles down while she has to be there. Instead of being able to protest one way she has found that outlet by the look of it. However I had to have Dinner with someone similar who always complains and he has everything you can think of. He is the only person that has made my head ache in all of my life (grin). I got up the next Day still hearing him yattering away what a pain. My head ached from him talking so much and boasting and complaining and saying that he always went to the best Restaurants so I thought well why don´t you go there now (grin). Alas he did not go right away but thank goodness I have not had to see him in ages. Yesterday I shared a plate of fried green peppers with bread and coca cola and they tasted glorious very simple food and yet very healthy and tasty. I love simple food. They wanted me to eat octopus yesterday and I said no as I always picture a lovely octopus in the sea graceful and intelligent. Its a main dish here so boo to those who get upset if I don´t eat it. I just can´t but I don´t complain about it. Lets hope your table mate gets better try to get through the meals the best way you can. Being positive is the best way most times I would agree.

I have not quite this problem, although I have seen children like it. My partner has a gluten allergy, and we have to check the ingredients on much of what we have to buy. Eating out is also quite difficult because we do not know the ingredients in sauces.