Honey, I Don't Have Time to Play...

hi there! one thing i know about men. is that they are very unpredictable. do not know when do they really love us and when they really don't. we never realize the lost until they are gone or far. i think that applies to your husband. maybe he misses you and feel more passionate about his love for you when you are apart. there was a time when i felt like that, i missed my bf so much because he works in a far city. one time when he went home, he's late, and because of waiting for almost 3 hours doing nothing in a mall. all of the excitement of seeing him again and the feeling of missing him went all gone in just a few moments. when he arrived i was so mad at him. i don't even speak to him that night. haha. maybe it just depends. anyway, happy mylotting!

Well I would ask you, is he really cold or is he just aloof? Will he not talk with you even when you try to talk with him? Or does he simply seem to think doing these other things are important. I ask this because you sound like you could have been my first wife. I worked long hours at my job. It varied all over the place but way too much time. So when I can home I wanted to relax. As time went on I found talking with her was stressful because it was always about something I did not or did do that was wrong. I freely admit I took her for granted in so many ways. Finally she had an affair and as it wasn't the first I divorced her and moved on. While it may be very hard to do, before you actually move out, try very hard in finding out where his head is. He may actually think things are find between you. Yup! Some of us are very good at hiding our head. Just make sure of where he really is on this. I can tell you from experience it is a shock when you finally get woke up.

eurekafemme, I feel that you are facing a factor most commonly attributed to the failures of Long Distance Relationships - when you realized that you have new considerations. IMHO, the lack of your husband's presence might have contributed to your initiatives. But nevertheless, when you talk about your observations and insights here, I cannot help feeling that this is after all your 'examination question', therefore your dilemma is anticipated and isn't random. Let me assure you that you are not prejudiced or unreasonable; you are just emotionally confused because when your man is expressing his intent, love and checking on your current 'status' and you felt that if you were to be truthful, it might eliminate whatever possibilities it could have been - whatever the possibilities your subconscious mind quietly desired. I say, take it easy first. Yes, you might have felt something different with your man; but it's too early to decide on anything. It could be a product of your emotional needs not tendered while slogging away from home - seriously, you will never know. My suggestion is to be truthful with yourself, your circumstances and take it one at the time; making dubious replies will make you appear evasive. Please allow time to give you some directions. Love is not about looking each other; it's about looking at the same direction - the same definition of love. Would you be able to educate your man to share this sentiment, or would he influence you to share his? Is really your act and call. Perhaps you might want to do REAL communication (NO sugar-coated chats, fear-imbued talks or even not-getting-to-the-point conversations) to check out the discrepancy and decide how you are going to patch the chasm from there. Loving him a lot is one thing - making it work is another. Take care and have a nice day ahead.

Men can be so confusing but they will say that about us too. When he gets back you need to have a talk about his behavior. Ask him why he is treating you like this, hot and cold. What is it that he wants and what is going on? Does he want this relationship to work out or not? I hope all works out for the best! Good luck!