Will you change religion for the one you love?
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
India
July 11, 2010 11:49am CST
My friend has a problem. He is a Hindu and he has met a girl online who is a Muslim. They want to get married together but the girl's parents said that he must convert himself to a Muslim if he wants to marry her.
He is ready to do that but i don't understand why should he convert himself. His parents are not allowing so there is a sort of dilemma.
Please help my friend out!
5 people like this
43 responses
@Albert1989 (372)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 10
For me, i wouldn't want to completely dismiss someone because of his religion, but i have to admit that being someone with a very different set of belief will make the relationship more difficult.
For instance, if he tries to make me wear veil at all times, it's time to say GOODBYE. As long as he doesn't try to make me bend to his beliefs and the conventions of his religions, we should be fine.
2 people like this
@sagar21 (1579)
• India
12 Jul 10
Love must be personal..and don't mix religious matters with love..
If society and family pose no threat then no need...??
but if they're annoyance ..then only solution..is to change the religion...
moreover we are just the same persona whichever religion we may in..
no religion can claim superiority..
thanks for the topic...
have a great day/night.....
1 person likes this
@ddhawkins63 (682)
• United States
14 Jul 10
I agree that no religion is superior. That is where our agreement on this subject ends though. Love and religion have everything to do with each other. You cannot seperate the two because religion is a very strong power in people's lives. It is a deciding factor, for instance, in how children are raised. Religions are not interchangeable because each religion has different interpretations that need to be addressed before you simply switch over to another for the sake of love.
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
14 Jul 10
Well i agree with you. Each religion has its own importance. Why can't the people understand?
@kumbarn14 (735)
• Pakistan
12 Jul 10
My sincere advise is it is very hard to change your faith even you become old. Your home cannot be strong, because ones religion is inbuilt in a human being. If you love a religion which is not yours, you should truly study and understand what good it could do for yourself first and whether you could whole heartedly accept and adopt, then you will be a happy person and a happy family will follow. When you do not understand another religion, your home will be unsecured, always thinking in two directions and the children in the middle will get confused. Everything is happy at the initial stages but when a real family with children, then is the time you will feel your inner conscious and the children will have a uncomfortable life in society.
1 person likes this
@ddhawkins63 (682)
• United States
14 Jul 10
Very good advice Kumbarn. That is exactly my feelings on the matter. When children come along, you have to consider how the religion will make a difference in their lives. Religion can be a powerful force in our relationships and it should be if we truly believe in it.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
11 Jul 10
I done this thing once in my life.
It is not actually that i changed my religion,but i disobeyed my religion for marrying someone who's not in my religion.
We never had any problem with regarding to religion issues.
But,now,if i have to love and marry someone,religion should not be a matter.
We never marry becoz of religion.
We get married becoz of love,so why the need to changed of religion?
I don't think it is necessary to do so.
It is love that matters most,two person can live in peace even with different religion,as long as they love and believed each other.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 10
I think a religion is a barrier for both you friend and his girlfriend. This happen in many country and if one of the religion is stern, they will most probably to force you to convert into their religion. This will depend on what that person itself think. If he this that he can accept the change, he can do that. But as what I know there are many restriction you need to follow once you converted to Islam. So do think twice before he really do it.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Jul 10
Hi Raviteja,
Their love for each other has to be stronger than their parents desire to control them. Personally, I would not change my beliefs for someone I love nor would I expect them to change for me. To do so would be phony and that in my opinion is not a good way to start out a marriage. If they love each other then obviously they have accepted each others different religious beliefs already. That should be good enough. When and if children come along they can be taught both religions and when they are old enough to choose for themselves then it will be their choice. I just feel it is wrong and futile to try to force someone to believe as you do. They can say they believe like you just to make you happy but that doesn't mean that they do so what's the point? This really should be more the parents problem than the couples. If I were them, I'd just elope and let the parents figure out how to deal with it.
@swirlz (3136)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
Well that has been a topic of my boyfriend and me for a long time. We're both of different religions.
It's not about religion, it's about faith. And what is faith? Isn't it believing 100%, without doubts, without compromise? If you believe that the way to salvation is this one way, as in you believe in it with everything you got, could you live with another person, and love him, for the rest of your life, without trying to save him? If you're saying that "aww, his way to God might be correct too.." then you're compromising your faith. You're making a leeway just to serve your own purpose. You're making an excuse. That's not faith.
And I guess that's not love as well, if you don't want to save him the way you know how.
@swirlz (3136)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
Yeah, we are. But we haven't finished discussing this topic yet. He doesn't feel the same way I do about this topic, but he's not all pro to converting just yet... He still thinks 2 religions in one family is okay, which I strongly disagree. We don't talk about it all the time. hehe...
I hope your friend will find a way that works for him..
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
16 Jul 10
Wow nicely said and done. I am sure you and your boyfriend are really happy.
1 person likes this
@allamgirl (2140)
• Philippines
11 Jul 10
i think that if you are going to change your religion, it should be for yourself. yes, he may be willing to change his religion for that girl but i think that if he's willing to change it, he must learn about islam first. i think that if i were in that position, i would like to learn about it. like maybe see the things that they do, how they worship and pray. i would not just convert, i would like to see for myself if i would like that religion. i think that it's okay to change religion, but not just to be with someone else. you should only convert when you know that that religion is for you. if you would learn more from it and if you be closer to god through it. besides, if she really loves him, he would not oblige her to change his religion.
my cousin married a muslim guy, and she's catholic. at first, her parents weren't too thrilled about her dating him, but they came to terms with it. they didn't force the guy ti become catholic and the guy's family didn't oblige her to become muslim either. their wedding was even a merge of the two religions.
if they really love each other, they have to learn how to compromise. and about their parents, if they really want to be together and if it all ends in marriage, then they have to make their parents understand.
@allamgirl (2140)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
yeah, mom said it all there. i'm sure there would be challenges but hey, what family doesn't have one, right? but you're friend should be absolutely sure before he converts. and he should do it to make himself better, not just to marry a girl. even if he does love the girl.
@momof3kids (1894)
• Singapore
11 Jul 10
I agree with allamgirl. The guy should first learn about Islam. He should not convert for the sake of marrying the girl. He should convert ONLY if he loves Islam for Islam and not for anything else. If he has doubts about Islam than he should leave the relationship.
They are in love right now so everything is rosy. But marriage is a challenge and if they have children, its even worse if they cannot get along later.
I am Muslim and majority of Muslims here prefer to have their partners to be Muslims because in case they have children, it will be easier for the whole family. Even though I have heard that the partner do not have to convert to Islam, I cant imagine what it is like to have children in such a family.
But I also believe it is possible. If the family is like what allamgirl has described that is both families are okay with the couple having different faiths then it is easier otherwise i think it will be difficult for the both of them.
I do not know your freind of course, but if he is aware and ready to accept all kinds of challenges (for example, family disputes) on top of marriage challenges which consists of financial, trust and respect towards each other than he should carry on ahead and marry the girl, but he has to be in love with Islam first.
@amitmishraleo (8)
• India
16 Jul 10
I believe that foregoing one's religion for something as material and trivial as love is the most base thing imaginable.Though nobody knows who invented the concept of religion but it has been in place since the origin of mankind.It gained more focus and vigour and was organised in form of worship during the formation of the earliest civilizations 5,000-10,000 years ago.My religion Hinduism dates back to that period.Yet it is so flexible,modern and relevant to this day.Religion is so central to one's heart that it gains the identity,personality and beliefs of a person which he carries throughout his life and takes with him to his grave.If the muslim girl loved him truly and her parents cared for the absolute happiness of their child they would never have reacted so cheaply and shamelessly.Afterall,religion is also special because his ancestors have been following this ancient religion for thousands of years and by embracing a religion so diverse in culture than his present one, he is completely separating himself from the legacy of his ancestors for good.
@amitmishraleo (8)
• India
16 Jul 10
religion whichever it may be must be respected and no one has the right to judge which is superior or which is inferior.every religion teaches one to be righteous and preaches love.hatred breeds among the followers.it is the direct result of their ego.
1 person likes this
@doglady112 (604)
• Canada
12 Jul 10
My husband wants me to give up my religious beliefs. He wants me to follow his beliefs, but I don't believe in his religion.
@doglady112 (604)
• Canada
13 Jul 10
My husband doesn't believe in Christanity and I'm a Christian. HIs belief is something of a different belief, he's Pagan.
@tices2010 (1)
• India
11 Jul 10
tell ur friend and the girl whom he met, to convert to some other religion, it would be a moral lesson to parents and it show integrity of religions
1 person likes this
@mac_mac1221 (478)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Well, love defies all odds. There are religion who ask the boy or the girl to be a convert of the religion of the person they love. But for me, I really don't think it's necessary. Religion shouldn't really be the issue. However, your friend has made a decision and it seems like he will stand up for it. I see nothing wrong with his decision too. Each and everyone of us have our own way of perceiving things.:)
@attente (986)
• Philippines
11 Jul 10
I don't think someone has to change his religion just because he's marrying a girl with different religion. Though have known lots of people doing that. When you change your religion, say Hindu to Islam, you converted to Islam because you believe in their beliefs. it's the faith that counts. :)
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 10
For me, I won't change my religion for my love one. Because if the guy really love me and want to marry me, For sure he won't mind about my religion.
The most important in a relationship is trust and respect each other. Religion is just a minor issue to be discussed.
But i believe some old folks are very concerned about the religion for their kid's partner.
The most important is for both parents' party to sit down and discussed clearly before the marriage is carried out.Talk openly to each other and clarify all issues,then the marriage will last forever.
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
12 Jul 10
I am not sure if the parents are ready too do that. That's like playing with fire nowadays...
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
12 Jul 10
I'm not sure how exactly Hindu and Islam's belief and practices differ.but, i'd say both religion are teachings towards the greatness of our Creator and the well being of our soul.
If your friend is so willing to give up his religion for the love of her, then, why not? If he can embrace fully her religious beliefs then there could be no problem between them. Never mind his parents. They are not the ones whom he is going to marry and live with...
But if he is having this dilemma, then better not pursue it. He seems like dilly dallying to change his religion, seems he, himself, is not convinced enough to give up Hinduism...Better sort things out first before making a big decision he couldn't take back once done.
Goodluck to your friend.
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
12 Jul 10
yes but u know the stubborn truly type of loving persons and he is one of them...
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
11 Jul 10
if convert himself to the girl's religion is the only way why not? if he really loves her is ok. is not bcs he will convert himself to other religion that his beliefs in god has to change. he will do that bcs he loves her so much and thats also a way to show her how he love her. anyway his parents shouldnt disagree they should support him bcs he is doing that for his happiness^^ wish the best for your friend and he must not give up on his idea^^ unless she decides to convert to his religion and go against her parents will^^ anyway i dont think parents should put themselves into it bcs thats a matter of love for them^^ they shouldnt put walls on it^^
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
11 Jul 10
yup ... parents could learn something from their kids here...
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
11 Jul 10
That was a hard decision my friend it was not totally about whether what religion would he choose but it was a choice between love or religion and Wife or Parents. I hope I have enough knowledge to give you advice but I haven't been in such situations so I just can say good luck to your friend.
@gnlpavani (4)
• India
13 Jul 10
well, in my opinion there was nothing problem in changing his religionif their love was true.different religion people can lead their lifes happily so nothin wrong to change his religion for his lover parents 'sake k
