relatives
@firebirdlizant (514)
United States
July 11, 2010 8:57pm CST
so my cousin is pregnant and due september 1st. it will be her first child and shes 3 years younger then me. i got married 3 years ago but shes having a baby out of wed lock. i have no kids just yet. her mom and my mom are sisters. its funny cause it seems like there always in competition. like who is better or whos daughters are better. at one time my aunt said the daughters are backwards. that her daughter should be my moms and i should be her daughter. just cause of the things we do with our life. there parents were killed when they were in there 20's do growing up was hard for them. they always had there parents by there side. my mom taought me and my brother all good things in life and brought us up good. my mom dont have alot of money but she is very happy. my aunt has money and is so much on her self. she constantly told me mom i had to do certain things. almost like was told what to do.. go to college get married. you know. well her daughter did not get married and is having a baby.. when my mom talked to her she said " they dont do that anymore.. getting married before having a baby. funny though cause they kept telling me i had to do this. its like everything my aunt says her daughter does the opposite. they are nice but so stuck up. the other day my aunt was talking to my mom of how my cousin is getting a 600 carriage from one of her friends and just telling my mom of expensive stuff she was getting. my mom was like what friend would spend that much money. dont make any sense. its crazy how they always seem to be in competition. this is suspose to be a baby shower coming up and they are having it at a restaurant making it big event like marriage. anyways, its nice this is all going on and she told me and my mom wht to buy for my cousin. we got it but i got a few things as well. then she said well you know she spent alot on your wedding.. i dont have alot of money and me and my husband try to get by.. he works and i just finally got a new job. starts in august. until then i been getting unemployment. all is good for us but the extra expenses are crazy. i feel like if i dont spend like 200 dollars like she did at my wedding then this is bad. any thoughts on all of this. they are nice people but stuck up and kind of rich.
2 people like this
7 responses
@celticeagle (166912)
• Boise, Idaho
13 Jul 10
You have to do what you feel good about doing. You can't be lead by what you feel other people expect from you. If money if that big a thing with these people ......I mean I don't feel I would feel comfortable with that. I don't have alot of money and I am not one to let other people lead me around by the nose.
@edwardjoy2000 (2387)
• United Arab Emirates
12 Jul 10
I have been married for 2 years now....in the first year itself all my relatives started asking me...is there any good news. is yoor wife expecting. I said no iam doing a family planning...we need to enjoy life...so they started asking me...you know each other for six years now...havnt you enjopyed life...now you need to think of starting a family. well the relatives are more concerned than us...
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Jul 10
Hi firebird,
A gift is a gift. In fact it is supposed to be a surprise. She is not supposed to dictate to you what to be buying her and neither should her mother be. That just takes away all the fun in buying her a gift. Actually the gift is for the baby and the baby won't even know or care how much you spend. I would go out and pick out something you think would be nice for the baby within my budget. If she has so much money than she shouldn't need expensive gifts from others who don't have so much. Don't buy into their materialistic mindset!
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
12 Jul 10
I would only spend what I can afford and the heck with them. I can't stand people who are stuck up and rich. They may be living beyond their means just to keep up with the jones. These type of people I stay away from. I have two sisters who seemed to be in competition all the time. Their kids were all around the same ages and it was all about who did what first and who had the better grades. Instead of being happy for each other they were always competiting. I couldn't stand it. Then I would hear the stories from both of them. To me when you competite like this in a family its because you are an insincere person, which is a bad trait to have.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
12 Jul 10
This is exactly what is wrong in our society, so many people care more about stuff, than about people Your aunt should be happy that you and your mom are part of her life, and whatever you and your mom decided to buy for the baby shower, should have been greeted with open arms. Your aunt should never have told you want to buy for her daughter, a gift is suppose to be a gift and not a demand. At this point if I were you, I would stop engaging in this game and the back and forth. Go to the shower with your held high, do not under any circumstances spend anymore money, and in the future do not discuss this among your family anymore. People should buy gifts based on what they can afford, even if it is less than what someone else can afford, it should not matter.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
12 Jul 10
The best way to stop the competition is to refuse to participate in it in your generation. You and your mom bought what your aunt told you to buy, plus you bought some additional things, so leave it at that. Respond to any future comments about how much so and so spent on your wedding by saying that you're not in competition with anyone, then smile and change the subject. If you let yourself get sucked into this family tradition, you'll be part of it for the rest of your life.
