How to make your child listen and follow you?
By mauricel
@mauricel (113)
Philippines
July 15, 2010 5:17am CST
I'm a mother of 2 year old boy. At a young age I am trying so hard to train my son to listen and follow me.
But living in a house with my mother and she's the one who took care of him at day time, I can see and feel that my son listen to her rather than to me. I love my mom and definitely thankful for all those sacrifices she's giving to us specially to my son.
But what I want to for my son to know that as his mom I have the authority over him.
10 responses
@pastigger (612)
• United States
15 Jul 10
Have you brought up this concern to your mom. Let her know that you two need to work as a team and be on the same page. She should not over rule you and if you are home she could let him know to ask you are not her. Children are very smart even at two and the will play you guys to get what they want. The trick to this is to make sure all the adults in the house are on the same page. Let him know that if you are home he needs to ask you first and if you tell him no that Nanny is going to tell him the same. And make sure you let your mom know how much you love her and how thankful you are for her help. It is always nice to hear. I wish you luck.
@mauricel (113)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
Hmmm... I guess I haven't brought up that to her, may be I was too busy telling her what she should and shouldn't do with him especially when I am around. I admit that this led to arguing things regarding my son. Thank for that, I over looked that issue because I was insecure that my son loves my mother more than he loves me.
I don't know if I am the only one experiencing this.
By the way...no offense meant... but it is 'nanay' that what we call to our mothers in Filipino (Tagalog) just a little translation.
@pastigger (612)
• United States
16 Jul 10
I guess just read it wrong I guess its true you only read part of the word when you read it. Just remember being a mom is not an easy job, but your son still loves you very much. When my daughter sees he grandmas she dosen't care what I am doing, being a grandma it just more fun. It is a diffrent realationship. I do daycare during the day so I spend a lot of time with other peoples children some even call me mommy cause they are just young, but they still love their mommys more. Don't be too hard on yourself you are doing what is best your son and he does love you.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
16 Jul 10
Hi mauricel, I really can't give solid advice as I am yet single. I did have a hand at taking care of my younger brother because he is 13 years younger than I.
At age 2 he was so impossible! Had terrible tantrums, spoiled, wouldn't eat, wouldn't listen to anyone but my mom...SOMETIMES! Would only calm down when somebody bought him a new toy.
Most 2 year-olds are like that. Sometimes they will even say NO to everything you ask. They stick around at the one who gives them gratifications - in this case, your mom.
It might help for you to spend some more quality time with your son. Bring him to places - just the two of you, without your mom to contradict to what you wanna happen.
Maybe you should also listen to yourself. Are you always angry at him? Children will tend to stay away from the parent who always sounds less affectionate.
@mauricel (113)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
When it comes to love and affection I can guarantee that I give it to him, I don't scold him, I usually talked to him as a little adult. Telling him that I'm his mom and he should not act like that to me.
Leaving the house during week ends with only the two of us sounds great. This way I can have his full attention. That's nice. We usually stay at home and play during week ends.
Thanks... :D
@Educo11 (19)
• France
15 Jul 10
I completely understand you, but at this point I think you should be happy that your son is willing to listen to your mom. This means she is bringing him up well and he'll obey you when you happen to have more time to spend with him in the future. In the meantime I'd suggest you read great books about parenting, such as the Secret of Happy Children by Steve Biddulph or Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen (to start with).
@shenlynn7823 (641)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Hello Mauricel,
I am a mother of my 2 yrs old princess as well.Believe me,my daughter is very organized at her age, very easy to learn ,she follows me but her tantrums is terrible...we also live with my mom,and before she used to only go to my mom...but she still know I am her mommy as whenever I have the time,I always make sure that we have our quality time together just the two of us.My daughter is spoiled by my sister & my mom thus she sometimes had an attitude but believe me,she once she hears my voice,she knows I am her mommy & she's behaving..I always talk to her privately whenever she does things...& tell her...if it's bad or good....have a quality time together,talk to him,he will listen to you no matter how young he is...& always let him know you are his mommy...have a great day dear..
@mauricel (113)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
My son is organized too. I trained him to put back his toys in its places whenever he's done playing with them. I only allow him to play 2 toys at a time, I don't let him bring out all his toys and let them on the floor for my mother to pick them up.
But on the other hand whenever he want to go outside the house he always call his "nanay" which is my mother, and ask her to tell me to let him play outside.
@shahrukhnf (168)
• United States
16 Jul 10
Its easy i am 17 so its my experience dont hit your child badly just take his things like his video games an ol then make him do some work like studying be in manners an ol then for his things he will behave better if this dosent work break some thing that is realy precious to him.........
@jackall77 (41)
• United States
15 Jul 10
This happens with parents too when a father stays at home and mom is the one working or visaversa the kids tends to respect the person at home with them more because they are the ones that are strictest with them when they need to be. You need to learn to not only show him love and affection when you get home but also have a stern face and show him discipline when he does not do something right. Explain it to him. I have a two year old too and she loves to walk all over me but she knows that when I count to 5 and she hasnt done what I told her to do she is getting in trouble so she RUNS to do what I told her. If you let him get away with doing whatever he wants when you have already warned him, then he will loose respect. Watch you mom when she disciplines him and if it works then you should use this method to your advantage.
@bkrm_gupt (219)
• India
28 Jul 10
This situation will really happen in life.If our grandmother is close to us we know the love and care of our grandmother, we won't think of our mom because she is not close every time ,so we will go for grandparents.In order to get back love for child, you should give more time to spend with child.
@abhi000 (235)
• India
27 Jul 10
As a mother we have to guide our child in a right direction.Mother has to advice very properly in each and every step and she should not talk about nonsense thing.Mother should not shout without reason to her child and we have to feel pretty on child.If we work hand to hand the work will run successful and child will also love her mother.
@phoenix867 (182)
• India
28 Jul 10
When he grows up he will become more closer to hie grandmother because she is the one taking care in absence of you.The love becomes more strong with his grandmother but not with you.He will listen to his grandmother and obey her but if you want your son should listen to you you need to spend more time with him so he will listen or obey you.
