After years of searching I have found my Brother.
@keelymcilwain (797)
Canada
July 15, 2010 11:45am CST
After years of my mother and her ex husband searching for their son they put up for adoption, they have found him! Well sort of. They had found out details like his name and his wife's name and his location. Well after that everyone just stopped looking I guess. They just left it at that.
But on the other hand, I took the information given and with the mighty powers of facebook I had found him, and his wife. His profile was set to private so I was unable to contact him. His wife tho she had hers set where you could view pictures, and message her. And that is what I did.
I first wanted to look through the pictures to make sure I had the right lady. I snooped through and wham!!! There is a picture of my uncle!! And I thought well how on earth does she have a picture of someone she doesn't know!!?!? Then it hit me. That was my brother, I guess I never thought I would ever see his face so I was shocked when I seen it. I knew then that I had the right lady. It took me weeks to think of something to say to her. But I finally got the guts and typed out a short but sweet letter.
It took her 2 months to reply, but I could tell by her wall postings she hadn't been on for a while. After she replied we have had a few conversations. I have assured them that this contact will stay between the three of us and not go to my mother or her ex's family.
I have wanted to know who he was for the longest time. I have always known about him, always wondered what he looked like, what he was like himself, just general things you would want to know about someone you didn't know.
Now that we are in contact I have no idea what things I should ask him, or what things I should stay away from. I am also scared I might not have the right answer for him and might scare him away.
So far everything is going swell tho. We have exchanged pictures and letters and plan to meet later this year. I am so excited yet so stumped at what to say!!
Please Help!
3 responses
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
16 Jul 10
I'm sure he is going through the same thing. And like you, I think he would prefer that you go through this as carefully as possible. But if you already are planning to meet, then I'm sure that everything would change after that. I'm sure that you'll get a feel for him and his family after a meet. Who knows? You might find out that he's exactly like you. And then you'll not only have a brother, but also a friend.
Goodluck!
@keelymcilwain (797)
• Canada
16 Jul 10
I am so excited and I wasn't even the one who brought up meeting him. That came from that side. I broke down in tears and my boyfriend came running to me and he looked at me all confused like ok why are you smiling? lol
From the pictures I see we are sooooo much alike. He has the trucks I've always wanted, he is very outdoorsy, lives rural, he loves his step children like his own and so do I. They have 3 dogs, and cats and blah blah I could go on forever already! haha
My sister on the other hand she is totally opposite from me. So we never had anything in common, never got along, I have talked to my brother now more this year then I have the sister I grew up with. It's a great feeling, and to know hes more like my moms side then his fathers makes it even more exciting!!! 
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
16 Jul 10
cool.. yea i would have done the samething as you. i would want to know my brother or sister as well. just take it slow. and things will work out.
hope you get to meet him
1 person likes this
@keelymcilwain (797)
• Canada
16 Jul 10
It's good to know others would do the same thing. I don't feel so alone with the situation anymore.
@sleepylittlerose (1648)
• United States
15 Jul 10
You have to know that this is just as hard on him also. So don't worry. Be honest and if you don't know the answers to his questions don't be afraid to tell him that. I am sure he will have many questions that only your mom or her ex can answer. The fact that you have reached out to him lets him know that the family has never forgotten him and he should not hold anything that happened against you.
Best of luck with this reconnection and hope things go well for you both.
1 person likes this
@keelymcilwain (797)
• Canada
16 Jul 10
Thank you for your reply. In my second message to him and his wife I knew by then he had known about me and was also reading the messages so I put something like this in my note. Tony I hope that any of the decisions made by my mother and her ex have no effect on us talking/ getting to know each other. You can hate them, but please give me a chance and see where things go.
Thank you for the luck!
