Thinking about longevity or quality of life.

At 86 i think your mom should be able to do what she wants, eat what she likes w/in reason & not have your brother bossing her. I have never liked to be bossed by anybody, lol.

I totally agree with you! Quality should always come before quantity. Always! My sister had muscular dystrophy from birth. Unless something unforeseen happened, we knew that she would not live to a ripe old age. She spent her last six years in a nursing facility, which was wonderful. She was treated like family, not like a patient. She was quite happy there, considering her circumstances. At one point, her doctor informed us that her cholesterol level was way up and she should be put on a strict diet. We knew she did not have long to live at that point and saw absolutely no need to deprive her of the foods she loved. The nursing facility had a special room we could reserve for private parties and we did that at least once a month. I would make a big pot of chicken and dumplings, my sister's favorite meal, and bring it to the nursing facility. We'd all get together as a family and totally enjoy our time together. My sister LOVED her chicken and dumplings, too! I didn't feel the least bit guilty of possibly causing her cholesterol level to go up or even stay the same. Her muscles at that point were almost totally useless. She could no longer get up out of her wheelchair on her own. The smiles and laughs we shared when we'd get together and have my sister's favorite meals was priceless, even if it did cut a year or so off of her life. She enjoyed her last years and that's what counts. I totally believe that you are doing the right thing by your mother. Let her enjoy the time she has left, even if by doing so it may cut some time off of her life. I'd much rather go young with a smile on my face than old and miserable.

I think anyone over 16 knows what they are doing, and if they are doing harm to themselves, well, they know whats right and whats wrong... I have ADVISED people who are just learning to live with low salt or low sugar, not because I do it for health reasons (besides weight) but because I've lived with people who have. Still, no body will do anything but create resentment for doing what you say your brother is doing with your mom...

As an older diabetic with a heart condition, I sympathize with you. You want what's best for your mom, but want her to be happy, to feel a little special. I can guarantee she appreciated a little taste of the "forbidden". I pretty much eat what I want. I love potato chips...couldn't live without 'em. She does have to watch what she eats, but a little of anything won't hurt her. The key is moderation. I feel that she is 86 and has lived a full life. Why can't she be comfortable in her old age? If it makes her happy, let her have it...in moderation. My son is like your siblings. He gets angry at me for eating things I should avoid, but he just doesn't understand. When you are a diabetic, with a heart condition, and disabled as I am, you give up a lot. I am tired of giving things up, and I bet your mom is, too. No one lives forever. The small pleasures in life can bring great joy.

eating in moderation does not affect her health. if her diabetes had worsened then all those forbidden food should not be allowed for your mother. she is allowed to eat such things as long as she's not eating it everyday. occasional eating of tasty food is okay, i guess.

I believe in quality of life. I want to live happy, helful and caring. If i fullful the duties of being a christian by helping one and all. I will definately live longer to serve mankind

I think what you did was right. Your mother is of a great age, that if the diabetes had not killed her before, it would not do it now. She would probably die of old age. Besides if someone is denied something for so long - as far as food and drink - then that person goes overboard. Thereby if your mother had been more agile and able to get around, she would have sneaked out of the house and bought donuts and cakes and eaten more then she should have. That is why that moderation is usually best in such cases. Let your mother have her piece of cake and her bread with real butter. For the short time she was with you, that did not do any harm.

Definitely quality life will be my preference marguicha. What is the use in just breathing every day, we need live every moment, right? Quality life with average life span is perfectly okay for me. Every one wants live long but I think quality of life is more important.

surely it is quality... just one stament says it al if yu cant live the moment die that very moment!!! haha :-)