i dont know what to do with my life anymore

It sounds to me that your dilemma is, do you go to a hospital with more equipment but with a further distance to travel and one where you would need to get a house of your own, or do you go to one closer where you can stay where you are not have any expenses, but that has less equipment. To me it sounds like your dilemma is do you go to a hospital where you can help people better but that you have to take sacrifices for, or do you go to one closer, but where you may not be able to help as many people as sufficiently as you would like. My suggestion would be to turn to other aspects of the jobs. The pros and cons, as well as the wages you'd be making. Would the one further away give you enough money so that you can rent a house in it's area? What about other expenses such as the bills for it, and if you have a car the bills for it, if not the expenses of traveling by bus, sub, or taxi. Then also think about whether you want to leave home, how often you'd be able to visit, etc. If nothing else, I would start with the hospital closest to you and work your way up, maybe work at this hospital for a few years and after a few years if they still don't appeal to your wants and needs you can try to find residency at another hospital, perhaps the one further away but with better equipment. I hope that this helps you come to a decision on what best to do.