Despair

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Actually, I don't feel anything resembling despair too often. I'm pretty positive about the way things are moving forward in my life, despite the fact that a certain person named Richard is totally in denial about the divorce. I know I'm not going to get his cooperation with things, and I'm not OK with it, but I can deal with it. But he continues to live in the same house with me, although separate sleeping quarters, and he keeps "working on me". It goes from telling me he knows he's blown it and asking what he can fix to telling me he hasn't done anything wrong and he doesn't understand. We've gone over and over and over things ad nauseum, so how can he not understand? How can he want to hang on so tightly to somebody who so obviously doesn't love him any more? Anyway, this is my reality for now, and like I said, I can deal with it. But as I stood up from my desk a little while ago, my hips were hurting from sitting, and I actually felt something that I think may have been despair. Here I am, 52 years old, three children to raise, arthritis, on track for a reasonably decent retirement, and I'm kicking out the person who did our financial planning, who does the heavy work around the house, helps with the kids and the chores, who knows how to do wiring and plumbing and etc. etc. etc. The reality is that a major stressor will be gone from my life. But there are aspects of my life that will NOT be easier. I guess that's why it took me so long to decide to leave in the first place. So I realize it's a long road ahead of me, divorce not final until early next year probably, dealing with him, pushing things forward on my own, etc., but I know I can do it. I think I can I think I can. This isn't really what I intended to post, not even sure I want to post this. MyLot needs a "save as draft" button. lol Have you ever felt despair, even for one tiny moment? How do you deal with it?