Do your friends ditch you when they have a significant other?
By Lunar01
@Lunar01 (151)
United States
July 17, 2010 1:56am CST
I have a close friend and we always used to hang out with each other. I know him well and many of his friends as well. We share similar interests in playing video games and dancing. However, recently he started dating another of our mutual friend and does not want to do anything with us anymore. I'm also a close friend with his brother so I wanted to know what's going on with him. His brother just told me that he's talking with the girl basically all of his waking hours.
I understand that once you have a girlfriend it's difficult to maintain the same lifestyle as before. Yet my friend is obsessively close with his girlfriend and does not even care to hang out with us and talk about things anymore. One time I finally got him to hang out with me and his brother, he just sits there and text with the girl on his phone. Even though we're close friends, I feel that is very rude. Here we are in front of him and he ignores us to text with his girl?
What should I do in this situation. I told myself that it's better for him to get out of it by himself but being a close friend, I feel that will be a shock for him if they break up. He's really into this girl even though I know that he needs to maintain a balance to his life, he cannot allow the relationship to dominate most of his time. His brother already gave up on him and told me that let the girl dump him and he will learn his lesson. I just feel that we should talk with him since we are his close friends.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@swn_chik (266)
• India
28 Jul 10
I think this happens if you have a guy friend but I think its normal,every men do this.As it is said in love people forget friends and I think its true.In case of girls,they don't really ignore their friends but maybe change a bit.
@mmebautista28 (113)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
yeah. i think i've experienced this. i feel like an idiot when it happens. and i also feel like shooting the both of them while they leave me alone. :P hahhaha.
@malihat (216)
•
17 Jul 10
My friends never ditch me for their significant others and I never ditch them for mine. Obviously, we do need our personal space and spend a lot of time together but we also have mutual friends and spend time together with them a lot so that's fine.
You should sit your friend down and explain to him that he is spending way too much time with his girlfriend and he needs to give her her space otherwise he is going to suffocate her and he needs to spend time with other people too. Tell him that you miss spending time with him and then suggest that you do something together and maybe he could bring his girlfriend along too, to start with and then slowly move on to doing occasional activities without her.
@Honeybuttz1397 (173)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
I find your situation kind of difficult because you are used to having your friend around. He's priorities has changed and I think so should you. I know it is hard because you miss him right? I understand how you feel coz I know how it means to have a close friend. Don't wait around on him coz you are just hurting yourself.
Is he the only close friend you've got? may I recommend that you start hanging out with your other friends instead of waiting for things to go back the way it used to with your guy friend. Let him miss you. Let him miss his friendship with you.
