The Past or the Present

Marriage doesn't matter...if you love the person you are with and he loves you, than it doesn't matter if you are married on paper because that is all it is. You can be with someone and be in love without being married. Being in love is all that counts. Marriage will not make any difference in your relationship except you will have a large bill to pay for for a big party that is mostly for the benefit of the guests. Would you want that hanging over your shoulder if it is not necessary??

I can't absoulutly understand the meaning of marriage,because I am still a college student,it has a far distance from marriage.But I think I can realise your mood,sometimes I will talk about marriege with my boy.As my opinion,your boy's idea is right,I think he does not want to marry you,but he just wait to the moment when he can offer you enough money ,a good living enviornment,he just want to makey your rest life happy.If I were you,I will wait for him ,but not choose the ex one.

Before you make your final decision as to who you chose to be with, make sure you are making the right decision! You could be leaving a great guy just because he doesnt want marriage,,,,,jsut becuase the other guy wants marriage, it doesn't mean he is a quality guy or the right guy for you....marriage is just a very small part of a relationship...you can have a great relationship with someone without being married and you can still commit to each other without the piece of paper to prove it! Think priorities....will you happy getting married even if the guy is not good to you or would you be happier with a guy who loves you unconditionally and will do anything for you but doesn't want to get married?? Think carefully before making any rash decisions that you will regret later and it will be too late to go back!

see you need to open up your mind and heart. first of all try to see who really loves you. do the hell with is top priority list. just try to observe both of them and find out who really loves you. if your present bf is not ready for marriage right now that doesn't mean that he is wrong. he has got a point. before getting into such a big thing you should let each other settle down in your careers. let him be what he want to be. he must be having dreams regarding his job. and even you must be having such a thing inside your mind. it's not that you want it right now which makes it perfect time to get married. gal don't rush into things. these are serious issues. plus before settling down you must be financially secure. if you are secure then you will no face problems later after marriage because after marriage you will need money to settle down. moreover career can't be made after marriage because person's mind gets divided as he will be having so many responsibilities. so try to think from his point of view. this is what we call love.. ookk..

aww godd :( you still have feelings for your past bf? thats what i think. so you must not choose none of them for now. you must understand what you really feel and who is the guy that you really love. anyway about your actual bf he now wants to marry you and made you his first priority bcs he is afraid to lose you. he is afraid that if he doesnt marry you now you go back to your ex. thats it he really doesnt want to lose you. anyway i think you must be honest with your actual bf and tell him that you are confused and need time to see who you really want to be with. thats the best you can do^^ wish it helped you^^

Marriage doesnt require much money. If both of you would really like to be at peace thru marriage, it can be done right at the moment. But then your present bf says you dont have money yet and as you have said, you were not his priority... and here comes your past bf looking for you. Follow what you heart whispers. Be fare. Balance your feelings. If love to your bf now doesn't exist at present, why stay? If you still love your past bf and loves you back still, why let go? I hope i have contributed. Good luck.

That's quite a tough choice, huh. Well, ask yourself who do you love the most, and who deserves you for sure. If your current boyfriend is not doing anything to persevere your existing relationship and is not working towards a marriage between you two, he might not be interested after all. Look out for the tell-tale signs, whether he's just using it as an excuse not to get married; the financial situation, that is. On the other hand, the ex-boyfriend whom has resurfaced all of a sudden, you might want to ask him.. why now? What makes him look for you all of a sudden and then decide to marry you. Do not choose him if you don't really love him and for the sake of marriage. This is my opinion/advice... sorry if I've said anything wrong. Compare the personalities of the two guys, list their bad and good points and hopefully, you'll get a-hold of the light on things.

What do your feelings tell you?

That answer really depends on a lot of things. How did your relationship with your ex-boyfriend end? There must have been a reason that you two are no longer together. You have to take that into consideration when thinking about this because even though some time has passed that doesn't mean that reason is any less valid. I broke up with my ex because he annoyed the crap out of me because he was way too clingy and I know that even if I wanted to try with him again (though I don't) that wouldn't change at all. Also, is there really anything wrong with your current relationship? I mean, you've been together for three years. Are you really willing to go ahead and throw that away so quickly for an ex? It's something you need to consider. And if he says you don't have the money to get married, is he right? You seem like you're mad because he says that, but is that the truth? You have to understand that if you get married with a real church wedding it's likely to cost anywhere from $2,000 - $5,000 or even more, depending on how lavish you get. We tried to keep our wedding as inexpensive as possible and even had a double wedding to cut the cost and we still spent about $2,000 for everything. Besides, why are you in such a rush to get married? Marriage isn't about status. You don't get married to bear that title. You get married because you're both ready to and you want to spend the rest of your lives together. In fact, you can spend the rest of your life with someone without marrying them, and I've known plenty of people who have done that, too. Don't choose the person you want to be with just because you think they might be ready to get married. Choose the person you're with because you love them and would want to be with them, whether you marry or not.

If you're boyfriend really loves you, he would have grab the opportunity and find ways to be able to push through with the wedding, but you can't also blame him, perhaps he wants to be secured financially and if you really love him as well you should understand. If you would prefer just marrying regardless of the financial capabilities your boyfriend is in now, explain to him and if he still refuse then there's something wrong with him. You would rather choose you ex-bf who I presume is more than willing to marry you now. Love will follow later. Good Luck!

The decision in this case is purely yours as it is you only who knew both your friend But from your writing it seem your past friend is much serious about the future, but since he has come to your life after gap of 5 years I think you don't know much about him. Hence it will be better that you should married with your present friend

For you, who do you think deserves your love?? The one you love or the one who love you most? The one who look for you and didn't stop until he found you and want to be with you for the rest of his life..here are only 2 choices, but it's hard to decide.. I really want to help but it's your heart must be the one to decide.. I'll just pray that you'll choose the best..

The decision lies on you. How well do you do this two guys you have. Its not a question of past and present as long as you know whom your heart belongs. Marriage is a life time commitment thats why you have to be very choosy whoever your partner will be. Seek the Lord's guidance so He will guide and help you choose the right guy. Good luck

Well i have been with my partner for 8 years and we are not married and I don't think we will ever get married as he doesn't really believe in marrige. We have a child together and we live together. So for the best part we are "married" and we are happy. And as much as i would love to get married and have a wedding and everything, I would never give this relationship up just because somebody else wanted to marry me, unless I was more in love with this other person. So i guess you need to decide who you want to spend the rest of your life with and maybe think back to when you were with your ex and why you broke up with him in the first place. Will it be worth sacrificing your current relationship. I think you need to take marrige out of the equation and see where your heart is, because if your not in love with the one you choose whats the point of being married.

I would ask your current boyfriend what his intentions are. Give him a time limit. If he can't set a date for the wedding within x amount of time, it's over. Give him a month or so.Tell him your not going to invest more time in a relationship that is going nowhere.

Okay first you would have to ask yourself why you want to get married? Is it because you love your boyfriend or you just like the sound of it? Marriage is a sacred thing you must get married for the right reasons. Now it seems you are contemplating on this past relationship because you are entertaining the thought that he might want to get married. This guy from the past might want you back but the question is do you love him that much to actually marry him. The scenario which you are in needs a lot of thought because you just might end up making a mistake in the long run my friend.

i would go with someone likes you and someone whos liked you back and support your opinions. But its all up to you as we don't know how your BF are in person. You have to make a choice between them. Choose as so you don't regret it in future.

Your present boyfriend is partly right. And if his procrastination is only due to economic reasons, I should appreciate his responsibility. Recently a colloquialism is very frequently seen in Chinese blogs, forums, etc. Its meaning in English is "Marriage without bread is like a bubble, it's always fragile." Above is my personal opinion. I don't know your condition clearly, but I think marriage is an important event in one's life, your decision should be made discreetly from your deep heart.

I'm positive that your situation right now is difficult.For us women,marriage is very important compared to men.But I think you are luckier than others who are in your situation that also wanted to have a family.Lucky in the sense that you have two men or you had a prospect already unlike those who wanted to get married but still they don't have any boyfriend for now.For me marriage is sacred because you will spend the rest of your life with this partner.So I think we have to be meticulous in choosing our partner to whom we will grow old with.Regarding you ex-boyfriend,I think it's not right to consider him again right away just because he is financially ready.Try to find out if the love is still there between the both of you.Your current boyfriend is just being practical,I think he is just preparing well for the future because he just wanted to give you a bright future.Don't rush things and just enjoy what you have right now.Actually I didn't vote to any of the two boyfriends,I am voting for your happiness.Good luck! :D

it's an issue between your emotion and rationality. don't make any fools mistakes which lead to regrets and despair. better consult your trusted person in the world regarding this matter. since this matter involving 2 feelings, all possibility of hurting anybody should be considered. by the way, I guess that the ex-bf of yours won't suffer much than the current one whom you involve in. so, act wisely and consult trustable person in your life for solutions.