Long Distance Parenting

This is so sad, but in our country as well, this is reality- a reality that bites. We would understand that parents do have a clean intentions for leaving but we can't really blame the children because they are so young to understand all these things. What they wanted are parents who are always there for them.

I think all kids need consistency and boundaries to make them feel safe. I know a number of single parents, men and women, who do an awesome job of bringing up children who feel totally secure and loved - and it's a dreadful thing to say but I think many of those kids have better emotional stability than others I see, who have one consistent parent and another parachuting in and out of their lives at intervals. It is exactly as you said, kids do not understand - how can they possibly do so - this guy called Dad pitches up every few months with gifts and treats and all the routine is out of the window (some Mums I know even take their kids out of school for a few days if their husband's visits are that rare and brief). After that everything is expected to just 'go back to normal' somehow and the kid suddenly has bedtimes and homework and just one parent again. Who wonders why they are dealing with challenging behavioural problems and difficult attitudes... My husband and I have sacraficed a lot of material things, to work together at home in a place we love and that our children have a happy lifestyle. We drive an ancient car, dont have our own place, don't go on holidays other than to visit family overseas... but we are both THERE for them, every day and night, and they know that whatever life brings us we will deal with it as a family, and nothing truly important will ever change.