Is it fair for your girlfriend to ask not to keep up a frindship whith your....

Well.... In order for a relationship to work, both sides need to understand the other person's needs, respect them, and meet them, if possible. It's actually not that unusual for somebody in a relationship to ask their partner not to have contact with people they've had prior romantic relationships with. What will it hurt you to break off contact with your ex? Who is more important? Your current girlfriend or your ex? It's not as if your girlfriend is asking you to cut contact will your friends that you weren't romantically involved with, or with your family or something.

Yeah it's fair! Ex-girlfriend doesn't mean that you guys are permanently going to stay that way and if she's the current girlfriend then the ex-girlfriend has no business to be in the equation. When you leave someone, it's done so either your wiling to let go of that person or not. The fact that you would fight your girlfriend to keep an ex-girlfriend in your life does not even make sense if the ex doesn't mean anything.

Hi Wazaaa, I don't think anyone should give up friendships for a partner. An ex could be a little different but a lot depends on the amount of contact etc. The fact that your ex is in another country should be enough to reassure your girl that she is no threat to your relationship. I have read thru some of the responses here and I think I kind of get what could possibly be bothering her. Mainly, I picked up on that you keep referring to this other girl as "The love of your life." and say the reason that you broke up was not your choice. It sounds to my ears as if you are "settling" for your current girlfriend but she is NOT the love of your life and if your ex had never moved away that you would still be together. And you have her on your IM? how often do the two of you talk? If the ex is the love of your life what does that make your current girl? Think on that and how she must be feeling about that. It pretty much implies that she will never quite measure up in comparison.

It can be fair somewhat, but in your situation it doesnt seem fair, as you stated, its been a couple of years, you dont love her, she doesnt love you, etc. So your girlfriend is being irrational and jealous. Explain to her what you have to us, and if she still refuses to accept it then tell her you are not giving up your friendship for her. At the end of the day, if she broke up with you, you still have your friends you can depend on, but if you ditch your friends and then she breaks up with you, you then have to recreate broken friendships. Tell your girlfriend she will just have to deal with it and get over it.

In my point of view, it is seriously unfair. You have already keep the friendship for years and suddenly she wanted to stop it. For me, if she really wants you to break the friendship then she too must stop contacting her ex-boyfriends. That's the least if I will do.

yeah. i don't think that's fair. maybe you should just lie to her and pretend that you never contact your ex anymore. hahaah.

I think it's up to you who you call friend. It doesn't seem to be a trust issue but the fact that if circumstances had not changed, you and your ex would probably still be together. The sort of insecurity your current girlfriend is displaying is simply not healthy for her or your relationship together. If it's not insecurity then she is displaying controlling traits. I think it's admirable that you love her enough to overlook these things but be careful. If you don't have a problem with your girl controlling aspects of your life or displaying other signs of immaturity and insecurity, then good luck to you. These are the traits that will remain behind when the heady rush of love and romance have worn away.

You should never give up your friendships to satisfy your girlfriend. I made this mistake when I was younger, and I will never make that mistake again. If the person I am married to (or dating if I happen become single again) isn't comfortable with my friends, then I need to find another person to marry/date. You should never give up your life to satisfy someone else...

Most people I know who continued their friendship with their ex ended up rekindling their previous romance, and resulted in the break-up with their current girlfriend. So it's probably better to err on the side of caution and not play with fire or risk provoking your current girlfriend into jealousy. That's because most girls want assurances that they are the only true love of their boyfirends.

Hi Wazaa!. I think all girl tend to react that way about their men ex. We are very territorial being and feel very secure if our man still having good communication with his ex because its mean you don't believe us to share every thing. Its mean what the point she beside you if you can not share your deepest mind with us, you share it with your ex, its means you said to her thats your ex better for you than her.

In my poly forum we are talking about Veto rights. It is more or less concluded that NO ONE has veto rights about the additional connections that their lovers have. I know that this is contrary to what is conventional, but think about it. Why should one person OWN another one ?

Bad for you ... I hope your girlfriend will be better next time when u have problems together :P

It's not fair.. But its understandable.

i think you should ask yourself whether you love your present girl friend or just want to look for someone together because you feel alone.i think your girl friend not really want you to stop relationship with your ex, she just want to prove you really love her,so she fight with you just want to attract yor attention, so it is more important that you let her know you love her and she is really your big boss.

I have found that with my long experience with relationships, it is a big thing to ask a current girlfriend to tolerate a friendship with an ex girlfriend. Most of them don't want it to happen. Men can be the same too, perhaps worse so, if a girlfriend is still meeting her ex. I am fortunate I suppose because my girlfriend, who is now my wife, never had a problem with this and I am two ex girlfriends I often see when out and about, and sometimes one of them will phone me. My wife also had an ex, and I felt that was OK because she had finished with him to be with me, and never would have married him. I just get to think why would I be worried about that. Some of us have insecurities though, and it is always best to sit down and talk with our partners and try and put their minds at ease. If this doesn't work, well then we have a decision to make. Either stop seeing the ex. or insisting that we will not be dictated to. Each of us has to work that out for ourselves I think. _Derek

Maybe she's jealous because you and your ex did have a past after all. Sometimes there may be lingering feelings. Also there's the fact she cheated on you and your current girlfriend may hate her for that and not trust her. I mean if they treated you badly while dating how are you able to trust them as a friend?

Marriage requires sacrifice. Do you plan to marry this girl? If yes, then you should decide what is more important. You ex-girl or your wife. If no, then it doesn't really matter what you do, since you'll likely move on from this girl friend. But either way, there is no love without sacrifice. I know that if I married a woman, I would want her to cut ties with past boy friends. So it wouldn't be a problem for her to want me to give up ex-girl friends.

Jealousy is the answer! Your girlfriend is feeling this. Did you ask yourself if you are giving the right treatment for your girlfriend? Or are you giving more time with your ex? Your girlfriend will not feel this way if you are being fair with her? Look, even you have your own life now and your ex has its own but are you sure that your not fooling yourself! Maybe you still have the feeling for your ex that you can't accept it! Your girlfriend likes you to stop your friendship with your ex, what a selfish act! Why not try to explain to your girlfriend about your friendly relationship with your ex! If your girl really loves you and respects you then I think there will be no problem about this matter.

I think your girlfriend is very jelous.....

well if your present girlfreind turely love you ,with your explanation ,she will understand you . this case jiut is one of all you will meet in your life .maybe you will met similar cases on later . so you can not be always unprincipled accommodating youself to your prsent girlfriend .