Do you call on your close friend for any help even after your marriage?
By alienstar
@alienstar (5142)
India
July 24, 2010 5:21am CST
A real close friend will be there with you for any kind of help you need and he will be there as a shadow in every mode of your life isn't it? you can depend on him in sharing your many secrets of your life and even share some of those secrets of his life also isn't it? but, do you call on him for any kind of help even after your marriage? there are many people who will not like to take a friends help after marriage isn't it?
15 responses
@med889 (5941)
•
24 Jul 10
I have many friend who are very reliable and they are always here whenever I need them however in marriage problems I prefer to give my sisters the opportunities to help me out or to counsel me for better options, they are far more experienced with more than 12 years and my parents are here too with some 35 years of experience so sometimes I might only discuss of some issues to some friends but I will be the one to take the last decision myself.
@alienstar (5142)
• India
24 Jul 10
I don't agree with the word "many" as i always believed one thing in my life-one cannot have more than one true friend in his life and all friends cannot be called true friend of yours who can give anything to you and be part of you in any kind of trouble happens to you.As having a single such friend is a true blessing in anyone's life for sure
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
24 Jul 10
I don't think that that is totally the case. I believe one can have more than one true friend. Now in my experiences in life, it is true that true friends are very rare and if one can count one's true friends on one hand in a lifetime, one is indeed lucky.
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
24 Jul 10
Hi alienstar, while it would seem that once you are married the couple should learn to handle problems together and therefore have no need for outside help, that is simply not the case for many individuals. If you have a close friend before your marriage and you share that friendship with your new partner, perhaps the friend will be close to both in members of the marriage and both can go to the old friend in times of need. But this also is not the case for many. People tend to keep old friends away from new relationships. In a case like this, it would probably put a strain on the marriage if the other partner sees one go outside the marriage for help. Friends should remain friends even after marriage. If the person is truly a friend, then the person will have no problem sharing his/her friendship with both parties of marriage and be willing to help both. But if you are in a marriage that you have secrets you need to share with a friend, then that says something about the marriage also. Doesn't it? hope you get the help you need.
@alienstar (5142)
• India
24 Jul 10
Well said and you have really put some valid points on this topic here.But , once you get married and settle in life and cal your friend for any help will not be appreciated much by your partner.So, more than you, your partner also should know the level of bonding you two have and then only it becomes problem less or else it can be the starting of another big problem in your settled life
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
24 Jul 10
Yes of course your right about help not being appreciated by you partner if your partner is not also a friend. I have a friend that i grew up with that I have always included as a friend in my relationships. Not only have i asked that friend for help but my partner has also asked that friend for help. if your partner really loves and trusts you and your friend is also a true friend, then both your friend and your partner will also become friends to make you happy and hopefully there will be no problems.
@alienstar (5142)
• India
24 Jul 10
Friendship can be with many people isn't it? but true friendship if exists will only be with a single person or at the most two in rare cases.You can understand your friend in an circumstances, but there will be no guarantee that your wife will also understand your friend to the same level as you do isn't it? so,here time goes to convince your wife about your friend and then again time gos for her to achieve the same level of confidence in your friend
@george000 (166)
• India
26 Jul 10
I will call my close friend and asks help even after my marriage because he/she might be having good idea to over come my problems.He/she may guide to show a new idea upon my business which I am benefiting in my life.
@thunder915 (180)
• India
27 Jul 10
It is not good to ask a help from our friend after marriage , yes we can share feelings ,difficulties and sorrow which we may be facing in our day-day -life. My small request to you never ask for helf after marriage becacuse there will be misunderstaning bewteen husband and wife.
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
25 Jul 10
I think it's very normal to call on your friends if you need help even if your married. If your spouse is your only source of support in troubled times that will just be too much strain for one person. I think they will get tired of being your only person to turn to.
@France7 (385)
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
Hi there alien! I think that there are things that we can share to our close friends and there also things that we should leave it inside our relationship with our partner in marriage especially if it is something that should be tackled just between me and my husband. Cheers!^^
@macdingolinger (10386)
• United States
25 Jul 10
I think a real friend is a friend for life! An ancient proverb says "a friend loves always.." When we had some trouble in our marriage I called my best friend. All she asked was where I put the skillet she'd given me for a wedding present! lol!
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
For me I don't take it because the only person that I can hang on is my father only and my brother.
@cursoralbert99 (412)
• Malaysia
25 Jul 10
depends on the problems level. some matters can be settled within without interference from the outside help. It's also considerable for you to get advice from close friends if the problems are too heavy to handle. Anyway, the best solution of all is to discuss with your husband/wife if problems occurs. Sit down and discuss without having confrontations.
@astreadido (608)
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
It depends on the help that I need. There are things that you discuss with your husband/wife and there are those that sometimes will require a friend. Especially if the problem is with regards to your partner. There may be times that it is best to consult with a close friend first before discussing it with your partner.
@astreadido (608)
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
It depends on the help that I need. There are things that you discuss with your husband/wife and there are those that sometimes will require a friend. Especially if the problem is with regards to your partner. There may be times that it is best to consult with a close friend first before discussing it with your partner.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
24 Jul 10
yes i can and will always call on my best friend no matter what. i know who i can call and count on.
