Who do you turn to??

Declare a ceasefire for the cold war and say let's talk. If there will be no talk, misunderstandings stays. The only solution to a misunderstanding is conciliation. If the problem is to deep then perhaps a friend or relative can act as a conciliator. Mothers understand easiest, so it is best to start with the mother. Mother knows best, remember?

I always try to express my feelings to others specially the ones I dont really know. Not a friend or anyone close to me. The reason to this is that if I confess something to someone who really dont know me is that he/she wont give a damn about what I say, and still gives me advice and I expressed my thoughts to them without worrying about what will they say after we talked. I think that it's the best way to also relieve stress.

I think he needs to talk to both his wife and his mother, separately. He needs to ask his wife's understanding that he has to help his brothers as a duty to his parents. He needs to get his wife agreement on how much they should help his parents to send his brothers to school. And he needs to ask his mother's understanding, that he has a family of his own now, that he cannot be expected to help anytime the family needs financial he helps. He needs to let his mother know how much he can help. I hope this helps.

if he is capable of doing both responsibility why not, right? but when the things goes wrong and he cannot decide... he might talk on the both parties that his obligation must be neutral... neutral in a sense that there will be a give and take, an understanding of both sides that his limited of this kind of help... although he is married, he will not just disowned his family... there should be an understanding and a clear talk on both parties so that your married friend will not suffers in any obligations at all..

i think they need to discuss things between themselves. like a face to face discussion. its really hard to weigh things like that. his family needs him. both his original family and his own. but if this guy earns a lot, why not divide it between the two, right? his brothers need him. i believe they can help him if he needs them in the future. this is what happened to me and my sister, she sent me to college. she has a hubby and her hubby has his own work. so they met halfway and she sent me to school. after graduation, i worked and now am helping her and our family financially. i'm not saying this will also be the situation for your friend. but let's hope for the best.