What is a man to do?

IBWISE, Her complication in love does not stem from the fact that she is helpless. In fact, she had made many choices in life; just that these choices are decisions that will almost set to plummet the condition of her love life into some karmic crisis in the future which is what she is facing after four years of marriage. One must understand that 'having no choice' is a choice. Having poor judgment is part of the reason for choice to be undertaken. I am not going to decide for you on your next course of action. However, should you decide to pursue this relationship; unless you take active steps to steer the relationship into a brighter path that could ensure better longevity, if not, you will probably perish in Relationship of Higher Complication because you are unable to assist your woman in eradicating her own karmic love ties. If you are unable to accept her history, then you might want to consider an exit because you CANNOT change your past. Acceptance is your only bridge to her foolish past. If you decide to love, then you have to walk the talk and learn to build a house of bricks - wisdom from 3 little pigs. If you already find no reasons to be in this relationship and hence, the last thing you ought to do is to put yourself in denial mode. If obligation is the only reason why you are in it, and before you decide that all is over, you might want to speak to her and trash everything. You might or might not learn that this relationship is truly over and if the outcome is not promising, as least you can work towards an amicable break-up, which is pretty much a mature way of handing issues, rather than opting to walk away. Relationship is never static - length of relationship does not guarantee everlasting fulfillment or marriage. Lastly, Love cannot be coerced and the truly problematic ones are the ones who end up concluding that they needed more force to curb their love ones from running away, one after another. Nobody has the prerogative to physically abuse anyone else. If your brand of love means beating, then you really unfit to love or be loved at all. Take care and have a nice day.

Hi, IBWISE. I can see that you love your family and wife so much. Your wife should let you see your three year old daughter. It would be nice to see your child. You are a man and is dedicated to being faithful to your family, unlike some other no good men that are in this world. Why is she calling the police on you when you want to see your daughter? You are not there to hurt anyone. What is wrong with her? She was wrong to ever cheat on you,, you have been nothing but good to her. It is time that she stops the lying and the devious games. If you want to see your child, then take her to court. Don't stoop down to her level, that is what she wants you to do, just so she can have something bad to say about you. It is a shame that we have women like this in this world. And then some of the women want to holla about how there is no good men in the world.. It figures..

ibwise one sentence there bothers me and also the fact that she called the police while you were there, could that be because when you left her you did a little punching out as you were angry and wanted to hit her? I mean we are hearing just one side of the story here. I do not condone her cheating on you or y our anger or hurt but women are still not for punching no matter how wrong they may be, and is kicking her fanny just a figure of speech or do you mean you do physcial harm to her? I do not, as a woman myself, condone mistreating her no matter what she did. YOu will not solve anything by violence u nless you wish to end up in jail. If you really are serious and you were a heartless thug, of course she will protect her child and herself. You had best not be banging on her when you get her in front of a judge as he or she might not smile favorably on that even if she did cheat on you.

You definitely don't want to revert back to anything that hurts you and your future...and ultimately your daughter, too. You need to get a visitation order from the court and have an arrangement other than the three of you at her place. You have the right to regular contact with your daughter...don't let this woman deprive both of you of that. In the meantime, is there someone who can go with you to visit your daughter who will cause your ex to stop playing games...one of your parents or another older relative?

It is hard to live with someone who cheats on you and if you have already left her you have made the decision that you can not accept her cheating. Accept the fact that she is the way she is and do not let her make you stoop to her level. If you want to see your daughter than take her to court for visitation. Make this as easy as you can on your daughter who is probably seeing you two fight and seeing these things is not going to make your daughter feel comforted. Good luck with this situation.

Its such a pain in the head to be in a situation where youre in. I feel for you because i have been cheated too. For me a third party is the ideal break up , Yes it hurts so much but at least the reason is very concrete that there is really someone else bettr thn me.That for me is easy to take.. anyway , you may be not religious but what's a man to do is pray and get legal advise... as in LEGAL ADVISE.. its the only way out not to compromise yourself too..