How do you treat your child when he/she did something bad?
By czanwell_30
@czanwell_30 (717)
Philippines
July 26, 2010 10:14pm CST
As a mother it's heart to have to personality. of being a mother and being a friend. But my children know that they should respect me as their mother and love me as their best friend. At first, because I'm so angry of what my son did, I speak to him so loud that our neighbors and his playmates here. Then he was crying when he goes to his room. I talk with him and he said that i embarassed him infront of many people. From then on I never do that again because they too even small, don't want to be treated so mean. I try my best to hold my temper and talk to them privately and i see that they learn how to follow.
2 people like this
19 responses
@ruthsm (222)
• Thailand
28 Jul 10
I would deal with the "sin" immediately while it is fresh in the child's memory. "Hate the sin and not the child." Your child must understand why he/she is being punished and it must be done privately. Punishment must be equivalent to the degree of sin. Do not punish him if you haven't taught him the way to do it right. Do not punish him for misbehaving if he doesn't know how a "behaved" child should act. "Attack the bad behavior, not the child". You say for example, That is a lie. Lying is a sin." You should not say, "You are a liar! You are bad!" When everything's done, look to the child in the eye and assure him/her that you are doing this because you love him/her and you don't want him grow up becoming a bad person.
We, parents, learn as we go along our journey as parents. These are just the few important things I've learned over the years. They also come from hearing advice and reading books on this matter. I hope this answers your question.
Blessings on your journey as a mother.
@phoenix867 (182)
• India
28 Jul 10
Being a beloved parent we need to scold our child and sometime give advise them.Being a mother we need to guide our child and teach them how to respect other and how to behave in front of other people.At the same time they have to respect me.
@gargisback (58)
• India
27 Jul 10
see shouting at your own son is not the solution .you have to make him realize how by doing a mistake will do any wrong to him in feuture,or show him what is the effect of same thing on him if it would have been done by some one else.
@kainalu55 (364)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Well honestly, when my daughter is not listening and is misbehaving my first reaction is to yell at her. I know it isn't right though, and i always feel bad after. I've tried time outs, i've tried ignoring, sometimes nothing works!
@krnavtr (285)
• India
28 Jul 10
As a mother its our responsible to make our child bad or good.We have advice our child in any ways,give love and care as much as we can.as a mother we will be very happy If our child does good but on the other hand if our child does bad than we have to advise that its not really good for you.If he don't listen than we have to punished him.
@phoenix867 (182)
• India
28 Jul 10
Being a mother we need to take care of our child.If they do any thing wrong that is our responsibility to guide them.Being a beloved parents we have to guide them in the right direction to follow.I love and care my child but at the same time they need to respect me.I can be their best friend through out their life.
@asiregar (864)
• Jakarta, Indonesia
27 Jul 10
become parents for their children is a gift from god that we need to keep your best, so in conveying something should be done by way of a good example by getting them to speak directly face to face so that they may understand what we want to convey as a person their parents
@ribbon1226 (192)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Maybe when your at the point where you feel so angry just give the time out for a bit so you get time to cool down and not be disciplining out of anger and at the same time your son sits and can think about what he did and when your anger has subsided and thoughts cleared go in and discuss what happened.
I never hit my children to punish. I did my very best and was by no means perfect but I felt always that I did not want to cause them any pain or make them feel humiliated because of something they did. We want to guide them to make the right choices and when they do something we feel is wrong, try to teach why its wrong and have consequences ready if they repeat it. I know what you mean about holding temper. I use to try the counting to 10 first but usually had to count much higher before I calmed down. Your last sentence is about how I would do it too. But If you feel real upset just take a few minutes to chill and I promise it all makes a world of difference. Sounds like your already doing a great job since your son told you how you made him feel and why. That is huge when you can communicate with your kids and they are honest about how they are feeling and why.
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Hi, czanwell_30. I will fuss at them and scold them, especially if they continue to do something very bad that I have told them not to do. And I will, talk to them kindly when they are sitting down. I will calmly tell them, that I am not too happy with their actions, and I don't like them being very bad when I tell them not to do something. I talk to them about being good and behaving themselves.
@sumiirajj (1983)
• India
27 Jul 10
Hi friend,Even I cant control my temper if I see my daughter commiting mistakes.I shout at her too but only at home when no one is arround.I also advice her about the consequences she has to face if she keeps commiting mistakes or behaving in a bad manner.I keep advising her but children are only irritated if we keep advising,even then its my duty to lead her in a right path.Now if we feel lazy or not interested to advise them or guide them then they can never change their habits and we too cant see them suffering in later stage of their life.So guiding children is very very important when they do something wrong, but the way of guiding only differs with parents.Thanks for sharing,happy mylotting.
@lissa12p (99)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
We're still humans. We do silly things and make mistakes. Sometimes no matter how hard we try to keep our temper intact (hehe), we still burst out from time to time. But we should do our best not too, since it won't be good to both you and your children having to see you suddenly burst out.
When I loose my temper when my son does something wrong, I tell him to go to his room and thing what he has done (so that I won't have a chance to shout at him or something). But I make it a point that he knows that he did something wrong and I ask him why he did it and what he has learned from it, so he can prevent doing it again.
@charmlenile (387)
•
27 Jul 10
Its not proper behavior for a mother and child that your biases,needs,or rules may allow you to tolerate or even find amusing some behavior of other parents find intolerable.Asking yourself "What will the neighbors think?" moves from the problem outside the family.A parent who accept what child does at home may realize that other parents will not prove of it.The parent may then decide to do something about the misbehavior.
A child behavior becomes an issue or a problem from the parents point of view or from the points of view from the other parents.Children on the other hand do not see their behavior as a problem; they simply have not yet learned more appropriate or self-controlled ways of seeking satisfaction.
In order to adequate manage the problem of the child behavior parents themselves need to become more discipline(where discipline is define as a teaching- learning process that leads to orderliness and self control). Parental behavior must change before their child's behavior is most likely change, and parents must become disciplined parents before children will most likely become self-disciplined. This is only my points of view anyway nobody is perfect.
@bkrm_gupt (219)
• India
27 Jul 10
As being a beloved parents of our kids.we should always take care of our child.What he is doing.when they are in the wrong way mother have right to take action with that child,but if he make a silly mistake we just right have to give good advice always and not to scold him always.At last they will realized what mistake they did before.so we should not be rude to them every time.
@abhi000 (235)
• India
27 Jul 10
As a became mother we should guide our child properly.When we guide our child we have to give good advice and teach each and every step.As some mother are very harsh and they will tell many things to their child which can digested.We have to control our self .
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child so it is the parents' responsibility to discipline him/her. It does not necessarily mean spanking the child all the time but showing the child what is right and wrong through your own good examples and by verbally teaching her. When a child does something really worth of punishment using the rod of correction is not at all bad. We can always spank the child but let him know the reason why he is spanked and he must understand that he is spanked not because you hate him but because of the wrong things he did.
@ada8may21 (2405)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
The attitude of my son is so hyper. In ths school he been bullying a lot of his classmates. One time I was called by his teacher and his teacher told me of his attitude and character inside the classroom. I was so embarrased and fetl very shameful. After that discussions and conversation my son knew already that what he did is really something really bad. Because for them once the parents are called by teacher it means to say that they are in big trouble. I also talked to him in silent moment and just the two of us. I lay down what his teacher told me and lay all the consequences. I let him think of what is wrong and what is right. At the same time I am also guiding him that it is wrong and this the right thing to do. I made a punishment to him that he would not forget. I impose a martial law in our house at that time. So from there on every time he bully his classmates he would think twice if he will continue it or stop or else he knows what will happen next.
@rose005 (254)
• India
27 Jul 10
Its a really bad habit to say something bad in front of others. Same like us when somebody says something bad to us than what we will feel? We should keep them in our place and think. Yes sometimes we feel bad too when our child does something bad but we should consider them as innocent. If we have to say something than say it when nobody is there, talk with them carefully and guide them.
@kshp_dpk (213)
• India
27 Jul 10
As a parents we should guided our child that what is right and wrong.We should teach our child to have discipline and respect to all the person but my child should also do not forget to respect and love me as I am his or her mother.We should give advise when our child is doing wrong things.