Will you still forgive your husband after you found out he cheated on you?

I'm sorry to hear this from you, Czanwell.... I'm not yet in that situation or I'm not aware of it yet. May God forbids! I dreaded the day that I'll discover he is cheating on me. I'm not sure if I can forgive him as easily as I wanted to, I may or I may not.My husband flirted with women (i'm not even sure if he had affairs with them,)but, it was hard for me to get over with the pain. I felt so betrayed.Until now, I'm still mending a broken heart... But, yes, he needs to prove himself not through words but more in deeds as well.and make sure he does. If he couldn't it's high time to say goodbyes. Just try to hold on there a little, girl...Whether we like it or not sometimes we hat to deal with our husband's infidelity in the most painful manner just to save the relationship. Give him another chance...

It is hard for other people to give advice in this kind of situation because of the fact that they all do not know the very root of everything that is happening between two people in a relationship. If there is an effect, there must be a cause. Everything has two sides. It is not just the husband that can go astray in marriage- sometimes the wives get lost too. Believe me, there is always an underlying cause in everything that goes wrong. Before you decide on something ask yourself all the basic things first, like: have I stopped doing things that my husband used to adore me for? Have I stopped listening to him...? Have I stopped taking care of my looks or myself and...? Have I been so exacting lately? Have I given my husband a fair attention...? I bet he has questions playing in his mind too. Cheating is caused by an insecurity. I know that you are feeling so hurt because it was you who got cheated- but there is still a way for you to straighten things up once and for all. Open a line of communication between you and your husband and make sure your mind is wide open when you do so, ask him to lay the cards on the table and not to keep anything from you. Ask him what went wrong... and spill out everything that you feel too. FROM this heart to heart talk, base your future decision. This, I think would be the best and fair way to resolve your dilemmas.

CHEATING! AFFAIRS!!....These are just two terms which couples or almost all relationships encounter. I am not married, but it seems even in a bf-gf relationship, cheating exists. It is an issue which is quite tough to handle and decide on especially in your situation where marriage is involved. As husband and wife, you have to consider many things. As for my opinion, I cannot blame you feeling that way. To forgive may be easy, but forgetting the fact that your husband have and had an affair or affairs is another. However, the issue of cheating by men is already a cliche. I am not saying though that it is normal because you are not the only person who may experiencing the same situation. If I were in your situation, I cannot really say what to do and how will I react. In my current situation now, my bf once admitted having an affair with this girl. At first, I was like shocked and speechless. But I love him so much so that I forgave him. However, it does not mean that I had forgotten the cheating. There are still times that I get paranoid every time he goes somewhere. I guess, it is the love that kept me holding on and keeping the relationship. Men by nature are polygamous. They are not contented to only one. It is a fact that is hard to accept, but we have to deal with.

czanwell_30, I am a guy and perhaps I am not as sensitive, and more logical towards this situation. By asking this questions, I am not sure if you are seeking support or trying to suppress the self doubts. I am not a train counselor, however I think relationship matters like this should be up to you to decide. I sense you have the heart to forget him but it is painful. As a friend I can only support your decision, because whatever decision you make it is going to affect your life, and it would hard cause a stir in my. So take a long hard look at what you really want, and make a stand. Because what I worry is there are people who give you advice and at the end of the day, it is a decision that you regret. Hope everything turn out as you plan.

if your husband have an affair of many girls, the let it go, your husband just having fun with those girls, but if your husband have an affair with only one girl, then think about it. it might be a serious one...if you love your husband then of course you have to forgive him, remember he is your husband,but if your husband never ask forgiveness, he might be waiting you to let go of him...so have faith on what you feel, no one knows what is there really inside in your relationship.feel if he still loves you,, feel if he is really sincere to ask forgiveness.

hi there, i know you must be feeling very bad. I never had such an experience before. i think i won't be able to forget just like you said. But am not sure i'll leave him if he is asking for forgiveness. It depends on persons. Do you still trust him? you may opt to start your life fresh again with new dreams or live with him. but the final decision must be yours. Whatever decision you take you must make sure that you don't regret later. Think well dear and take your time.

Hi czanwell, I hope you are taking this well. I know how hard it was for me to accept what was happening when I learnt my husband cheated on me. I fell into depression, I hope you won't. But I got back on my feet, and dealt with him with lots of patience. I learnt a lot of things along the way and became a stronger woman. I gave a lot of chances for him to return to the family for good, but each time he failed and did not learn his lesson, until God taught him a valuable lesson. At that point in time, it was one of the most difficult times for me. I told him and gave him a choice - if he wants to continue to be with this girl, he can do that without me and our daughter. But God works in miraculous ways. It does seem that he is no longer in contact with that girl anymore. He was moved to a different office which made contact not possible. Like I said, God works in miraculous ways. There were a lot of things in the way of their relationship and finally he relented and gave her up, when I was ready to leave him. I do not want you to get hurt anymore. You need to create a barrier and ask yourself what if he did it again, what would you do? I dragged the matter for quite some time, about more than a year, but to me it was worth it. Because now, everything is clear what I needed to do. If he does it again, I will not hesitate to file a divorce against him. That would be the final straw. I have given him ample time. For as long as I live, I will never forget this. He has hurt me and my daughter much, but I'm willing to forgive him. He has to show that he's sincere in getting back to the family and leave the past. I told him that many women would have left him by now, but I did not. I told him that I'm committed to this marriage which I deem sacred. And I will try my best to work on it. If he does not feel responsibility for me and my daughter, it's best to separate and move on. I hope that time will never come, but I will be prepared if it does. So you need to prepare yourself too, you hear me? Take care and all the best!

too sad for your side... there would be a second chance of course but that was the next story of your lovelife... totally different... happy mylotting

Hi czanwell, I am sorry for your pain. However, cheating in our society has become an epidemic. What has happened to one true and faithful love or marriage? If I read this correctly, it wasn't just one girl, but two? Well, I don't know if I could ever forget either, and I am not sure I could forgive my husband. If I am a good wife and have shown nothing but love and support toward my cheating husband, more than likely he would be out of the door. How could I allow him to EVER touch me again without me thinking about those other women he has been with? I would probably have flashbacks throughout the whole thing. Cheaters are deveils with no integrity. They are inconsiderate to their partners, and have no problems doing it again and again, until the true partner just have had enough. You, better than anyone else, knows your husband and whether his apology is for real. No matter what advice anyone gives you, this matter is definitely between you and your husband. You have, and should have, the final word. Good Luck

I think it will not be easy for you. Especially if you know for yourself that you have been loyal and did all you can to make your relationship work out. The thing is, if you wont forget it, then you also cant forgive. You have been hurt and let's say that your not hurt anymore but the scar is there. Take time for yourself. Time will heal. Take it easy and let time heal you.

How would you know if he is sincere in not doing it, if he done it more than once he could done it over and over again the question is for how many times you could forgive him? If I'm in your she well I guess I must realized that the problem is not with my husband but instead of me if he make an affair to more than one girl then there is something missing in me that she's trying to look at it to another girls. Think of this words maybe I'm wrong or maybe I'm right it's up to you to decide at the end.

Its very bad that after marring your husband had an affair, but think carefully is there any man who is really faithful to their wife? 99% of them are having affair after the marriage, so mistake is done by everyone, I think now he is realized that he had done mistake and ask forgiveness also, so if you really love him than forgive him and be happy ever.

Is very bad to hear that married husband has affairs with other girl.Every one can each other but they should know the boundaries.If my husband has an affair I will forgive him for once or twice.I will tell him to not to do all thos things because I love him very much.

I totally agree what you says,Yeah now days world is changing like anything and I saw most of man who have wife are running over the young girls.They didn't care what happening to their wife and children and they give most concentrated to that girl and did not bordered about the family.What you say is right,I can't forgive and I think I will left my husband and stay with my children without any tension,if I stay with husband than hope I will be always in travel is better to be far from him.Let him to do what ever he want or like.I can never forget that thing happened to till I live and No way to forgive him,never and ever.

You are a much better person than i will ever be, sweetie. I won't forgive him. If he did it once, he will do it again. I won't stand for that, no matter how much i love him. He can pack his bags and get lost for all i care. TATA.

I don't have an experience with a husband, but I had an experienced with an unfaithful boyfriend. It hurt so bad, though I know your hurt would be greater cause you are married to him. Even if you forgive him, I would think it will be hard for you to trust him again. You will feel insecure every time he shows a slight interest in any girls. You will be worried that it will happen again. You will start checking his wallet, his phones, his where about when he is late. Well, actually those what I did after I gave my boyfriend another chance. I hate those feeling, so in the end I let go. Whatever your decision, it would be best for you and him.

They say that to forgive is to forget. Well, I may be able to forgive my husband if it happens only once. But I will really find it very hard to forget what he did. In marriage, both spouses (assuming both have) invests a lot into it (I'm not talking about material stuffs here though they also have a small part in it) to just pack up and leave. So I'd say that I will try my hardest to forgive my husband and to give him my trust again. But if he will cheat again then I'm not sure if I will be that forgiving the second time.

How do you love he forgive him.

Hi, Whether you forgive him or not, it will still be your decision. Whatever decision you'll take just make sure you'll stand for it. You deserve to be happy so make sure that in the end you'll make the right decision. Whatever it is please do not regret it. Regret is the word that you shouldn't think of once you made that decision. Move on and moving forward is what matters most. Past is past and you can't even bring that back. You can even forgive him, yes you can but whether you'll stick with him or not will be your own decision.

So sorry to know your story. Even i can also forgive him but wont say it out to him for sometimes until i don't see any changes in his living with me. But at the same i even would not able to forget till my last breath. I only its better to forgive him once. Just give him one more chance to have you in his life. just one last chance. so if u do it again, really repeating same mistake cant be forgiven. Hope u feeling better at the moment. take care